I don't think I'm coping

TheHillOfDoom

Something happened me at the weekend and I'm fine, completely fine, but I don't think that I'm doing ok. I'm very angry, very weepy and very afraid of people. I'm normally a very extroverted person so it is a new feeling to me to be afraid of people.
Just wanted to ask for help I guess.

SATSUMA

Do you have a friend you can confide in?

I read your earlier thread. You're still in shock. Take a day off from work and go to the police station. They will treat it very seriously and have specially trained officers talk to you.

Best wishes x

celligraphy

You need to go and talk to someone maybe a counsellor that was a Horrific time you went through , I guess at this time your feeling maybe angry with yiucrself for it happening and scared in case something like this happens again hope you will be ok op x

TheHillOfDoom

SATSUMA wrote: »

Do you have a friend you can confide in?

I have a very useless partner who thinks that he had it bad too. Him, fast asleep in bed while I suffered from hypothermia. NO ******** IT'S NOT THE SAME!

Stheno

TheHillOfDoom wrote: »

I have a very useless partner who thinks that he had it bad too. Him, fast asleep in bed while I suffered from hypothermia. NO ******** IT'S NOT THE SAME!

I think you need to take a step back and deal with how angry you feel.

Lashing out isn't achieving anything.

Ursus Horribilis

I read your other thread in After Hours. and all I can say to you is that you go seek professional help. Go make an appointment with your GP and get started on doing something practical. Blowing off steam on internet forums isn't going to help you. On After Hours you lashed out at people and rejected the very reasonable and sensible advice that you were given (even if it was After Hours). You've crippled yourself with your rage here. I mean, why wouldn't you go to the police if you suspect your drink was spiked? Why wouldn't you try to find out what it was that made you so ill? I hope that the anger and the negativity you displayed on that other thread are simply the after-effects of the drug.

TheHillOfDoom

Odus fell down wrote: »

I read your other thread in After Hours. and all I can say to you is that you go seek professional help. Go make an appointment with your GP and get started on doing something practical. Blowing off steam on internet forums isn't going to help you. On After Hours you lashed out at people and rejected the very reasonable and sensible advice that you were given (even if it was After Hours). You've crippled yourself with your rage here. I mean, why wouldn't you go to the police if you suspect your drink was spiked? Why wouldn't you try to find out what it was that made you so ill? I hope that the anger and the negativity you displayed on that other thread are simply the after-effects of the drug.

I DID go to police thanks to all of your badgering. I made a statement. They are going to 'look into it'.

hearmehearye

OP you really need to see a professional. Your rage isn't healthy and indicates that the events at the weekend are affecting you rather badly.

TheHillOfDoom

I wasn't referred by the hospital. I would think that rage is appropriate given the circumstances.

How do you feel OP?
I feel like killing the ****.
And WHY do you feel like that?
Because the **** almost killed me.
And what would you killing him achieve?
Retribution.

End of counselling.

hearmehearye

You can't be spoon fed everything in life. Pick up the phone and start calling counsellors. Have some initiative.

TheHillOfDoom

hearmehearye wrote: »

You can't be spoon fed everything in life. Pick up the phone and start calling counsellors. Have some initiative.

I don't need a counsellor. I am angry with good reason. I'd need counselling if I wasn't angry in the circumstances.

Stheno

TheHillOfDoom wrote: »

I don't need a counsellor. I am angry with good reason. I'd need counselling if I wasn't angry in the circumstances.

Well stop taking it out on annonymous strangers who are genuinely trying to give you advice.

celligraphy

TheHillOfDoom wrote:

I don't need a counsellor. I am angry with good reason. I'd need counselling if I wasn't angry in the circumstances.

Not really op, carrying around all that rage isn't good for anyone trust me I know . You need to stop being defensive also and accept that you were in a very vunerable state , its very frightening to be faced with a deathly situation like you went through .

hearmehearye

All of these posts are a clear indication that you need some form of counseling. It's fine to be angry - and that's completely understandable - but you seem to be rejecting that your boyfriend was able to sleep it off in the safety of his bed while you were left out on the street. That's neither of your faults - ye were drugged and that would have affected ye both differently. It was just unfortunate that you came out the worst of it.


Whoever did it was a scumbag. It should not have happened. But it did, and thankfully you're both physically OK now. You just need to work on the mentally bit. How is your boyfriend coping with the events?

TheHillOfDoom

Stheno wrote: »

Well stop taking it out on annonymous strangers who are genuinely trying to give you advice.

Nobody has given me advice apart from 'speak to a counsellor'. That's **** advice. It's not advice.

I almost ****ing died. I am angry. I don't need counselling for feeling exactly how I should be bloody feeling.

wokingvoter

What do you hope to achieve by posting here?

Stheno

TheHillOfDoom wrote: »

Nobody has given me advice apart from 'speak to a counsellor'. That's **** advice. It's not advice.

I almost ****ing died. I am angry. I don't need counselling for feeling exactly how I should be bloody feeling.

You've also been told you need to deal with your anger, asked if you have someone to confide in, and you got plenty of advice in your other thread.

Ignore it all you want.

Personally, the best bit of advice I'd give you right now is get your OH to change the password on your router to keep you off the internet for a few days so you can calm down.

The fact you've posted online about what happened so much today indicates you've no real outlet to deal with it.

You need to find one.

celligraphy

I'm sorry but what other advice do you want ? You asked for help and plenty of posters here have given you help.

TheHillOfDoom

hearmehearye wrote: »

All of these posts are a clear indication that you need some form of counseling. It's fine to be angry - and that's completely understandable - but you seem to be rejecting that your boyfriend was able to sleep it off in the safety of his bed while you were left out on the street. That's neither of your faults - ye were drugged and that would have affected ye both differently. It was just unfortunate that you came out the worst of it.


Whoever did it was a scumbag. It should not have happened. But it did, and thankfully you're both physically OK now. You just need to work on the mentally bit. How is your boyfriend coping with the events?

Thanks. I'm sorry. I don't know why, but I blame him. I know that it wasn't his fault but I just resent him feeling sorry for himself when I almost died.

He's asleep. I'll talk to him tomorrow.

Zaph

TheHillOfDoom wrote: »

Nobody has given me advice apart from 'speak to a counsellor'. That's **** advice. It's not advice.

I almost ****ing died. I am angry. I don't need counselling for feeling exactly how I should be bloody feeling.

Well exactly what advice do you want people to give you? Taking your anger out on people who are well meaning and trying to help isn't right. If you don't want advice then why are you posting on this forum?

TheHillOfDoom

Zaph wrote: »

Well exactly what advice do you want people to give you? Taking your anger out on people who are well meaning and trying to help isn't right. If you don't want advice then why are you posting on this forum?

I genuinely do not see me taking my anger out on anyone.

I didn't ask for advice. A bit of a hand hold perhaps.

Wrong place.

Stheno

TheHillOfDoom wrote: »

I genuinely do not see me taking my anger out on anyone.

I didn't ask for advice. A bit of a hand hold perhaps.

Wrong place.

Seriously.

Switch off from the internet.

Reach out to your family and friends for a bit of a hand hold.

Stop blaming your partner, but for sheer happenstance it was you and not him this happened to.

Ursus Horribilis

The rage you're expressing is EXACTLY why you need to talk to a professional. You've bitten the heads off just about everyone who has tried to help you and we're just anonymous strangers on the Internet. God only knows what you're like in real life at the moment.

As things stand, getting angry and aggressive has got you where exactly? How about accepting that your current way of dealing with things isn't working and that you should try another approach? I know this advice is off the wall but perhaps giving the Rape Crisis Centre might help? While you weren't raped, you were violated in a different way. You were drugged, you were helpless, you're now messed up.

Zaph

TheHillOfDoom wrote: »

I genuinely do not see me taking my anger out on anyone.

I didn't ask for advice. A bit of a hand hold perhaps.

Wrong place.

You might not be able to see it, but you genuinely have been lashing out at people all over the site tonight. That's not to say that you don't have a right to be angry after what happened you, you most definitely do, but the people on this site aren't who you should be angry with. You're also angry with your partner, but you need to sit down and talk to him. What happened him was outside his control but he clearly has his own coping mechanism to get over it. Maybe the two of you can help each other if you don't want to go down the counseling route. Speaking to another friend or relative about what happened may also help you deal with the aftermath. You've already spoken to the police so you should keep in touch with them to see how their investigations are going.

hearmehearye

Really though you just need to step far away from the Internet. Threatening to bring another user to the attention of the media for the way the other post was handled is simply bizarre and it appears to me that you're just looking for someone to blame, someone to pick a fight with. It's apparent with the sheer volume of posts regarding this that you're isolating yourself and allowing the internet to be one of your only forms of communication. That's not good. Go talk to a professional. Or even pick up the phone and call a helpline. I'm sure there's a drugs related one out there.


You need to talk to your boyfriend. Maybe he's taking it worse than you think? Maybe he feels bad that he wasn't the one that got the worst of it? You won't know these things unless you talk to each other. Going to a counsellor together might be helpful. You both were victims of the same thing but it both affected you differently, and you're both reacting differently. Completely normal but needs to be addressed.

Turtle_

Would it help if you talked to your bf and tried to explain that there are two separate incidents.

The first is where you were both drugged. Hugely frightening in itself and would give anyone cause to be shaken and upset and angry and feeling sorry for themselves.

The second is where you didn't make it back to the apartment and nearly died on a wet street lying in the gutter. And all the emotions of that.. For you they're piled on top of what he's going through.

I think if you could try to have him understand that either one of the things that happened to you could leave a person very shaken, he might understand that having both happen brings it to another level.

Right now you're angry and that's right and normal. It shows you're a healthy person who values their life and wellbeing and is unaccepting of such an intrusion on your person. You put that anger to good productive use by trying to warn people, by fighting to have drugs tested for, by going to the police. The problem is that we can only deal with a certain amount of anger before it works against us. You have so much of it that you now have no more productive outlets for it and instead small annoyances will cause you to boil over, and that can damage your relationships.

It also makes it harder to communicate or even identify your other thoughts and emotions. And really at the moment and in the near future you'll need to be able to do that so that the people close to you can understand and support you.

The point of counselling is to help you cope with the overflow of anger, the counterproductive part of it. Not to argue that it's unjustified, it's not, but because you can't go out and kill whoever did it you need to find another way to gradually process it and cope a bit more. Going to counselling after a trauma will help you process things in a healthy way and will ultimately help reduce the damage done to your life as a result of the drugging. It's something way outside what people normally have to cope with. Not coping well after it is pretty much to be expected. Just try to be open to the possibility that a good therapist could do some positive work with you.

Toots

Due to the sensitive nature of this thread, and the fact that emotions are running high, I'm concerned about leaving it open overnight when there may not be many mods awake to keep an eye on it. I'm going to temporarily lock it until one of the PI mods can review it in the morning.

TheHillOfDoom there are some links in the forum charter that you might find helpful if you feel the need to talk to someone. Take care of yourself.