Packing up and shipping out

LegacyUser

I have a fair amount of debt. Have done for the last 10 years or so. I went back to college when the recession hit and scraped my way through while just about maintaining my repayments. I'm now a year and a half post-graduation. I now look great on paper but alas haven't found a full-time job here in Ireland so I decided enough was enough and booked a flight and a hostel in another country with a view to securing a full-time job and am in the process of giving away and getting rid of lots of stuff.

The reason I'm posting on here is that things have gotten rough for me personally in the last year and I have become very insular and don't have many friends where I live. In fairness I never really had many friends around here but I've failed to integrate socially and I'm afraid of my life that something similar will happen to me in the new place.

My self-confidence and self-esteem have taken a kicking and between the debt and the poor job opportunities I really have been at an all time low which is why I had to do something productive to try and change my situation.

I'm so afraid that I will be a social outcast in a new city where I won't even have a friendly face to smile at. I know that whether I sink or swim is down to me but I feel dread at the thought of it not working out.

I'm a woman in my mid-30s and it's been hard enough accepting that my life hasn't been very successful to date without the panic of feeling that it could turn out as never being successful.

All I want is a job and a routine, get rid of the debt and have a nice life pursuing new interests and meeting nice people. Marriage and kids have never been a priority for me. I long for a comfortable, enjoyable life with a reasonable balance of work and play.

I'm going to be starting with nothing and working towards turning it into something but it's hard feeling like I'm just starting out at my age.

Can anyone help me feel more confident or share a similar story?

I am definitely going, scared and all as I am. I just hope that I don't end up on the streets.

Dughorm

There's every reason to think your new move will be the best thing you ever did!

I suggest that *in advance* you look into where the Irish ex-pat community is based in your new area and perhaps drop any groups a facebook message to see what's happening. That will give you a good network to start. Try new things - there's plenty of GAA clubs around the globe so you could look into that if you haven't previously.

Any chance you could line up some contacts with recruiters in advance also? Give yourself every chance of a good start.

Don't be scared - be prepared! Whatever you do make sure you have a contingency plan (be it even going back to Ireland in X months time if you're not happy - nothing is fixed in stone).

Best of luck on your new adventure.

Electric Sheep

Dughorm wrote: »

There's every reason to think your new move will be the best thing you ever did!

I suggest that *in advance* you look into where the Irish ex-pat community is based in your new area and perhaps drop any groups a facebook message to see what's happening. That will give you a good network to start. Try new things - there's plenty of GAA clubs around the globe so you could look into that if you haven't previously.

Any chance you could line up some contacts with recruiters in advance also? Give yourself every chance of a good start.

Don't be scared - be prepared! Whatever you do make sure you have a contingency plan (be it even going back to Ireland in X months time if you're not happy - nothing is fixed in stone).

Best of luck on your new adventure.

I'd advise all the same except I'd advise avoiding the Irish ex-pat community. You'll find the same problems with them as you found with the ones at home.

fits

I did someting similar when i was 32. And there was no irish ex pat community where i went.

It really took a year to settle in properly but i joined local meetup groups and was open to everything. Made some friends and it was a good time.

The weekends can definitely be hard at first so make sure you plan something in advance for them.

via4

Can I just start off by saying how brilliant you are for getting up n going that is so brave. I agree with the other poster avoid the Irish broaden your horizons and get to know new nationalities. I'm not going to start moaning about the government and the banks but we were let Down badly by them they have made a mess of the country. It's not your fault you were unable to start a life here that's something you need to accept and not take it as your own personal failure I'm sure you are a highly skilled person who has a lot of offer. From looking at all the people that leave Ireland on Fb they look so happy and make lots of friends and the Irish that stay seem so miserable all the time. I am looking for a job now and despite my degree and years of good jobs the best I will get where I live is a waitressing job. I'm no longer going to let that knock my confidence because there is simply no good career jobs where I'm from. I will move away when my child is reared and start again at 38. I'm holding onto hope that things will get better some day. Meeting people takes time as the other poster says it will take about a year even just moving into a different area it took me about a year to get talking to the neighbours. Now I know them well. Your doing the right thing and remember nothing is permanent is you really can't settle you can always come back but give it a good chance. Best of luck.

LegacyUser

Thank you all for your replies. I'm not a GAA or even a general sports fan so that's not something I'm prepared to fake

I've just been so lonely for the last few years but it was worth it to get the degree and masters parchments. I'm just so afraid that I've forgotten how to socialise. I realise that many people my age will be married and/or raising a family but I'm hoping that there are some few lone warriors like myself to make friends with. I've checked into a hostel for a couple of weeks so I'll have to talk to people there and may get some leads on somewhere more permanent to stay.

I'm sending my CV and cover letters to several recruiters next week and I'm going to send out some feelers to some companies that look pretty good even though they have no jobs advertised. It can't do any harm.

Thanks for the replies.

This may sound silly but has anyone got any tried and tested links for anything that would help with my self-esteem? I was shocked at how low I rate myself and I know this move will help because I can have a fresh start. I went to see someone about it and they gave me some helpful tips but there's only so much talking to the mirror I can do!

This thread has given me a bit of a lift, thanks again.

Electric Sheep

Believe me, just being somewhere that no Irish people are making Irish judgements about you will do wonders for your self esteem. A fresh start where people see you for yourself, rather than the stereotypes they are taught to apply to you is a completely new life.

Taltos

Mod Note
Molly I've removed your post. That type of post normally results in immediate mod action. In this case though I'll just ask you to read our charter and not to post in this thread again.

Remember key message is only post if you have constructive advice, asking personal questions or hijacking a thread with your own issue as above both can result in bans.

Molly999

I'm away . Best of luck with your move. Moderator removed my previous post. Not sure why!! Anyway hope it all works out for you.