Is he really into me?

galwayhooker

Met guy online at Xmas. Really nice guy and pure gentleman - like me doesn't drink, Have had longer relationships before but am still a virgin, this guy has very little experience of relationships but of course that doesn't bother me.have not stayed over night with him yet as he lives at home and have not told flat mate that seeing guy yet. We were supposed to go away his weekend but he said last night that he had bad experience with last girl last time he was with her. We were supposed to go away sat but he has to go to a match with his brother so can't go away sat - has to be Sunday on, last few weekends there has something on with his family and I just get to squeeze few hours in with him during day on Sunday or during the week for hour. Doesn't seem like he is into me with our plans always left to last min and then big row happening cos he has to change, starting to feel possessive and think maybe it's time I finally end it.i still like him but feel like after 3 months we still haven't had time on our own properly and think he is just looking for someone to hang out with when he is free

SarahMollie

Talk to him. Tell him you're not feeling the right levels of interest. Then use your gut to see if his answer is sincere and act accordingly.

This way he's on notice that if its going to develop into a proper relationship, he will have to prioritize you at least some of the time (whilst obviously not ditching his friends/family). If nothing changes, then value yourself and your own time enough to walk away.

Mr. Incognito

Sounds like he is getting anxiety and backing out.

You need to talk with him openly. Tell him that you want to be physical and it will take time to learn to be comfortable sexually.

Lads sex ed is particularly atrocious in Ireland.

galwayhooker

Thanks SarahMollie - any time I think we have resolved issue after talking it's back to square one. Haven't seen him properly last few weekends cos of his family commitments. Last night he tells me he has to go to match late sat eve with his brother - his brother is married with kids. I said would head out with girls I know from a meet up group so when he is busy - they are more acquaintances and people I meet up with every so often to get out on a sat night with. Didn't tell him who they are but he wants to meet me with them after match but he still hasn't introduced me to his friends yet. Anyway haven't heard from him and prob be best if I just leave him,

SarahMollie

Doesnt sound like a great prognosis then if I'm honest

Don't wait around for him, it shouldnt be this hard at the beginning.

galwayhooker

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

Sounds like he is getting anxiety and backing out.

You need to talk with him openly. Tell him that you want to be physical and it will take time to learn to be comfortable sexually.

Lads sex ed is particularly atrocious in Ireland.

Have talked to him - he has no problem trying to get intimate with me in car.I have often had to stop it - just getting mixed messages from hiim and getting so confused, his family very catholic but he has been away with women before. Just tired of fighting all the time

magneticimpulse

Sounds like a guy who doesnt know what he wants - bit of a head wreck. If he was into you he would make more effort to arrange to meet up. An hour here and there doesnt slund like he wants anything more than a casual fling.

He hasnt even introduced you to any of his friends or brother and he wants to meet your friends. sounds like its not really going anywhere and you are already getting frustrated by him.


Of course as others said you can chat to him but i think actions speak louder than words - especially with guys who have an inability to be open and honest with what they want.

batmanrobin

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Sounds like a guy who doesnt know what he wants - bit of a head wreck. If he was into you he would make more effort to arrange to meet up. An hour here and there doesnt slund like he wants anything more than a casual fling.

He hasnt even introduced you to any of his friends or brother and he wants to meet your friends. sounds like its not really going anywhere and you are already getting frustrated by him.


Of course as others said you can chat to him but i think actions speak louder than words - especially with guys who have an inability to be open and honest with what they want.

Second this!

OP, I know there are exceptions to every rule, but the majority of the time, when a man is truly interested in a woman, there's no guessing, there are no games, there's no blowing hot and cold, there is no nonsense! You won't ever have to wonder or question. Honestly, when you find yourself wondering, that's when you know he isn't.

Find someone who will make time to see you! Not throw you a few hours here or there.

galwayhooker

Thanks for all advice. Met up this weekend - he had family gatherings and Easter mass celebrations over the weekend so I said wouldn't go away sun night him. Met up last night and everything was ok but felt he wanted to get intimate with me in car so stopped it. Said he had work to do today ( mon) and ( tues) - must add that he has been on hols for over week now and off this week also but he was free in eve.he suggested going away fri night so said yes. He wanted to go to cinema which was fine but because eve was nice I suggested walk also. Said he couldn't do both as had to be up in the morning . I got annoyed - no so much with what happened but with comment he made saying ' I can't see you every day'. That's so far from the truth - he hasn't been seeing me every day. I work away during the week and thought when he was off for 2 weeks also this would be perfect time to spend time together - arranged to meet tomoro eve for hr for walk in eve but to tell you the truth I feel like telling him it's over but really don't want to please him saying you ended it. Was looking forward to going away fri night but feel any love or affection I have for him is going, I was attracted to how nice he was to me at the beginning - don't want to sound big headed but I would be more attractive in looks than him and he knows that guys looked at me when we used to go out and when we were out last night. I just thought he seemed like a decent nice guy but with his behaviour back to square one again today beginning to think was all he telling me at start just lies!!

CaraMay

Are you sure he's single op? It all sounds like too much hard work tbh. It's supposed to be fun and it's not.