Think Ahead

Conor Bourke

Apologies for cross-posting but I think this could be a very interesting topic for discussion.

http://think ahead.ie

"The purpose of Think Ahead is to guide members of the public in discussing and recording their preferences in the event of emergency, serious illness or death".

As part of a workshop I attended a couple of years ago, the attendees were split into groups and told to imagine that they had just received a diagnosis of a terminal illness and to think honestly about what our wishes would be right now, not "down the line" or if things were different in any way.

It goes without saying that it was incredibly difficult to do this. It doesn't bear thinking about but it was, in my opinion a very useful exercise. In my group there was another person the exact same age as me but our circumstances couldn't have been more different. As a mother of two young children, she said that she would want every single form of treatment, no matter how gruelling if it would buy her time with her family. My take was that I'd give treatment a shot but if it wasn't working I'd leave it off in order to focus on quality of life rather than quantity.

We were prompted to think a little deeper than that however. I was asked to consider whether I would opt for treatment in Dublin or return to my home town and local hospital. Would I stay in my rented accommodation or return to my family? Who would take care of me? How would I get to appointments etc? Would I have to give up work? I was in a pretty toxic relationship at the time and it was certainly a shakeup that I needed to re-evaluate my life. My then-partner's family wouldn't want to look after me and I doubted he would have had the emotional capacity to do so either. I couldn't expect my friends or housemates to mind me, knowing how much care a sick person can need. Who would have made decisions on my behalf if something sudden happened which prevented me from speaking for myself?

As I has a lot going on at the time, I never did get around to completing a think ahead form and if I'm honest, I can't really bring myself to do it now either. I still feel too young and too invincible and as I'm single, my parents are automatically my next of kin so it's pretty cut and dried right now but it's something I've been meaning to broach with my parents for their possible future care needs.

Has anyone here ever given any thought to this topic?

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Yes, after watching a parent try fight a terminal Illness, and seeing how it took him apart, piece by piece, if I'm diagnosed with an illness with little to no prospects of recovery to a full and normal life, I'll end things on my terms.

coffeepls

I didn't know about this website - it looks really interesting. I didn't know something like this existed.

I've stage 4 cancer, which is under control at the moment but it will eventually get worse. That's just the way it is, key things are 'control' and 'quality of life'.

Anyway - re one of my forward thinking plans - when I was well, as in prior to diagnosis, I used to donate blood. So when I got cancer, my first thoughts were not alone was my blood not wanted, organ donation was also a no no (bar my corneas apparently). So I have put my name on the register for donating my body to science. I think the initial reaction from my family was slight shock - but I thought about it long and hard and it's what I really want.

I've never wanted to be buried, always preferred the idea of cremation. It just struck me that instead of being incinerated I could be of real use to trainee doctors and research.

Withering

I know very little apart from that I want any available organs to be donated (apart from corneas) and that failing that, my body be donated to science. I also want a DNR in the case of incapacitation.