Too much to do with too little time

adocholiday

Hi all,

So the big day is looming fast (about 4 months left) and we are starting to feel overwhelmed with stuff yet to be done. We are both incredibly busy professionals and to be honest our wedding plans have taken a very far back seat to our jobs.

Starting to lose it now thinking about stuff yet to do and thinking that we may already be too late to fix some of it.

Left to do:

Notification of intent to marry (booked, but 9 days before our deadline)
Pre-marriage course
Pre-nuptial enquiry stuff
Suits for the groom/groomsmen etc.
Flowers
Videographer (not essential)
Rings
Invites/Church booklets

Pretty sure we've everything else covered. Not sure what I'm expecting to get from posting this, but ideally if any of you knowledgeable folks have some suggestions for suppliers or can give some advice for getting some things done sooner I'd really appreciate it. Going to take some time off work if necessary to get everything sorted but at a loss for where to even start

fits

adocholiday wrote: »

Hi all,

So the big day is looming fast (about 4 months left) and we are starting to feel overwhelmed with stuff yet to be done. We are both incredibly busy professionals and to be honest our wedding plans have taken a very far back seat to our jobs.

Starting to lose it now thinking about stuff yet to do and thinking that we may already be too late to fix some of it.

Left to do:

Notification of intent to marry (booked, but 9 days before our deadline)
Pre-marriage course
Pre-nuptial enquiry stuff
Suits for the groom/groomsmen etc.
Flowers
Videographer (not essential)
Rings
Invites/Church booklets

Pretty sure we've everything else covered. Not sure what I'm expecting to get from posting this, but ideally if any of you knowledgeable folks have some suggestions for suppliers or can give some advice for getting some things done sooner I'd really appreciate it. Going to take some time off work if necessary to get everything sorted but at a loss for where to even start

Notification of intent is quick and easy once you have right documents

Is pre marriage course necessary? We didnt do one

Dunno about pre nuptial enquiry stuff. What is that?

Get on suits as soon as you can. We bought two from patrick cheary of clarendon st. Excellent service.

Flowers you should also get on soon. In my case m-i-l made two bouquets and buttonholes and that was it.

Videographer we just got brother to record and that suited us.

Rings are quick and easy but no harm to look into it already.

Invites are a big job. Start on that asap. I found that the worst job of whole process. Dont lwave it any longer

Church booklets can be done last minute or not at all.

adocholiday

fits wrote: »

Notification of intent is quick and easy once you have right documents

Is pre marriage course necessary? We didnt do one

Dunno about pre nuptial enquiry stuff. What is that?

Get on suits as soon as you can. We bought two from patrick cheary of clarendon st. Excellent service.

Flowers you should also get on soon. In my case m-i-l made two bouquets and buttonholes and that was it.

Videographer we just got brother to record and that suited us.

Rings are quick and easy but no harm to look into it already.

Invites are a big job. Start on that asap. I found that the worst job of whole process. Dont lwave it any longer

Church booklets can be done last minute or not at all.

Thanks for that. Ok will crack on with the invites ASAP. I thought the pre marriage course was essential for a church wedding. The pre nuptial enquiry is about having all of the necessary paperwork for the church sorted. Various certs, freedom from the parish to marry etc.

I think I'm most concerned with the suits... If I've to get one for myself, both groomsmen, and both our fathers I'll need 5 of them.

jellybear

We went with yourweddingvideo.ie for our videographer. Got a really good deal so they're definitely one to consider

baby and crumble

If you can get into Dublin city centre id say go to Tangos dress hire in Temple Bar. The guy there knows his stuff and kitted out my best friend, 2 groomsmen and 2 dads. Sorted my dad with a fantastic 3 piece ex rental tux as well. Alterations took 3 or 4 days. They're great.

Purple410

Probably not much comfort but with four months to go I've nothing to wear let alone anyone else! I haven't even been near a bridal shop. We're busy with life I guess. I like to think it will fall into place and not to sweat the small stuff. I did sort the biggies at the start, minister, venue, photographer. Looked at some florists last week, and sorted somewhere to eat after. Internet is fab for vendors and reviews about them to help you choose. you will be fine. If you're used to being busy, set aside a day or two to sort out as much as you can. We did some initial looking online, drew up shortlist for the essentials then took a day off to blitz it. We stayed away that evening so we were focuses on the task at hand and came home feeling much more relaxed about it all. Best of luck

Toots

Check with your priest whether or not you need to do a pre-marriage course. If you get on to the parish office, they should be able to tell you, and you can book the pre nuptial enquiry while you're on to them. If needs be, phone the previous parishes you've lived in asap (if you can do it on your lunch break in work that'd be handiest) and ask for your letters of freedom because you'll need those for the pre nuptial enquiry.

SarahMollie

A guy in my office only got engaged in late Jan, set the date at the end of Feb and the wedding is at the end of June - and its a full on big Irish Catholic Country Wedding - you'll be fine!

I'd focus on all the legal/required stuff first because you'll be nowhere without that.

Try get your pre marrigage course done asap (assuming your priest says you have to to it at all) as I know some friends whose local options were very booked up so had to travel to get to one in time.

Rose35

If your priest says the Avalon pre-marriage course is ok with him (some insist on the Accord one) you can do it
at home via online or DVD, We chose the DVD option. You answer a few questions online after watching and they post out
the cert the next day, it was so handy!!!! We work full-time so this was easier than taking a day off and travelling to do it.

ElleEm

That really isn't that much to do with four months to go. We will be about four months engaged when we get married! We have a few bits to do and our wedding is in less than 3 weeks. My fella doesn't even have a ring
The invites can be a pain but get your invite list finalised, then start looking for ones that you like. I got mine off Zazzle. It was grand once I had an idea of what we wanted. I just wrote in the colour/ theme and only looked at the ones in that catagory. Don't talk to anyone about who you're inviting/ not inviting!
Use the internet to whittle down your ideas so you don't get overwhelmed, whether it is florists in your area or best value suits. If you limit yourself to a shortlist of three or so, you won't go astray. I found a great deal on a florist in Tallaght, and bought loads of flowers from Smithfield for the centrepieces. Loads of businesses have Facebook pages so you can spend a few minutes on your lunch break/ commute/ weekend morning looking around. I took screenshots of everything I liked and the went back to things when I wanted to order.

adocholiday

Thanks all for the replies, lots of reassurance there and feeling a bit less overwhelmed now.

Just RE the pre-marriage course, who exactly decides that? We have a slightly unusual situation in which we live in a parish in Dublin, but we are getting married in a parish in Kildare with a priest from my own parish in the midlands actually celebrating the service for us. So we have 3 different parishes involved and my understanding is that we do the pre-nuptial enquiry form with our parish in Dublin (where we currently live), that paperwork is sent to the parish in Kildare where we are getting married, and the priest celebrating our wedding does the actual signing of the register etc.

Who should I be asking about the pre-marriage course?

Arbiter of Good Taste

adocholiday wrote: »

Thanks all for the replies, lots of reassurance there and feeling a bit less overwhelmed now.

Just RE the pre-marriage course, who exactly decides that? We have a slightly unusual situation in which we live in a parish in Dublin, but we are getting married in a parish in Kildare with a priest from my own parish in the midlands actually celebrating the service for us. So we have 3 different parishes involved and my understanding is that we do the pre-nuptial enquiry form with our parish in Dublin (where we currently live), that paperwork is sent to the parish in Kildare where we are getting married, and the priest celebrating our wedding does the actual signing of the register etc.

Who should I be asking about the pre-marriage course?

Just ask the priest officiating the wedding

Rose35

You will both need baptismal and confirmation certs also. contact the priest from the parish's where these ceremonies were performed. The priest that is officiating at the wedding will advise you on all the paperwork ye need and what pre-marriage course he requires to have done.

SarahMollie

Rose35 wrote: »

You will both need baptismal and confirmation certs also. contact the priest from the parish's where these ceremonies were performed. The priest that is officiating at the wedding will advise you on all the paperwork ye need and what pre-marriage course he requires to have done.

Oh Gawd.... when I get married I'm definitely going the secular route! Hopefully that requires less legwork

OP, maybe it would be worth setting a few hours aside to make a few phonecalls to get through all the points above made by other posters.

One thing that I've learned (lots of friends getting married this year and next) is not to try to reinvent the wheel. Ask your married friends for advice on suppliers etc and what worked well and what didnt. Prioritise what's really important, and I think you'll have more than enough time. People can tie themselves up in knots by being indecisive and worrying too much.

Toots

Definitely set aside some time to phone around places. I got a lot done on my lunch breaks in work. If there's an empty office or desk with a phone, bring your lunch over and make some calls there.

For the florists, I looked at a few websites to get ideas for what flowers I liked, then rang around a few local ones to get prices. When I found one that was best, I made an appointment to pop in to her on a Saturday morning to go over things in more detail.

With regards to rings, if you're just looking for a plain band it shouldn't be too difficult. We went to fields in Dundrum for ours (I'd gotten my engagement ring in fields in Grafton St but Dundrum was nearer and it's also open til 9pm) we went in and tried on different stuff. They had my hubby's ring in stock and mine was ordered in and they had it in a couple of days. We didn't need an appointment, we just walked in.

Are you planning DIY invites and mass booklets or are you making them yourselves?

baby and crumble

One thing I will say- once you've made a decision on anything, just stop looking. Tick it off and say "job done". You'll dri ve yourself mad looking and second guessing other options otherwise. Prioritise, too. Two things we are happy to spend a chunk of our budget on are our outfits and the photographer. TBH we'll probably forget 90% of the actual tiny bits, and unless something is incredibly unusual, so will your guests. Likewise, my outfit is far more important than my Bridesdude's. We'll probably get his in M&S or something. (Nothing wrong with M&S by the way they are fab for decent quality, affordable suits).

ElleEm

baby and crumble wrote: »

One thing I will say- once you've made a decision on anything, just stop looking. Tick it off and say "job done".

This is my favourite thing to do! Upon leaving the last bridal shop where I decided on my dress, I got into the car saying "I am glad I never have to do that again". I have loads of lists, and once something is crossed off it, that's it- over!

ShaShaBear

If you're looking to take a chunk of the stress out, we really enjoyed VistaPrint for our invites. Picked the template, edited it out, picked the matching extras (evening invites, RSVP cards, return address stickers and invite seals), paid online and got delivered to the door. They have rush delivery services too. The invites can be as cheap or as pricey as you want them, and it only takes a few hours of sitting down and picking what you want! I'm pretty sure you could get matching mass booklets done on there as well!

Agreed with everyone else - get the legal stuff done first - everything else can be left for a while yet! We didn't go the church route, but I had to get my birth cert stamped in the UK and get a new passport for notification of intent to marry and we had to prioritise those costs!

We just popped into Argos and got our rings there, but neither of us were fussy

We're just hiring suits, but haven't sorted that out yet either.

Flowers and the videographer would be something to get on top of soon as well - depending on where you are a lot of the more reputable ones could already be booked this close to the date.

stickybookmark

For the church paperwork we met up with the priest doing the wedding (my parish priest) he told us that my fiance had to do his paperwork with his parish priest in his home parish. If you set up a meeting with your parish priest OP (who's also doing wedding) set that up as soon as possible. Then ask him where your girlfriend should do her paperwork. Also ask him about the pre-marriage course. I also used to email the parish secretary - they act as a secretary for the priest - again that would be the one in your home parish as it's your home parish priest doing the wedding.

We got away without letters of freedom, just made out that we both still live in our home parishes and have always lived there. A sound priest will turn a blind eye anyway to where you have lived or are living so you don't need the letters of freedom.

You'll have to get up to date baptismal and confirmation certs alright (both of you) so get on that with your respective parishes.

But as a first port of call set up a meeting with the priest doing your wedding (or at least ring them with a list of questions) ASAP

We got engaged end Jan and had an early June wedding with 150 guests, church and all the trimmings so I did it ALL in 4 months, you'll have no bother getting through that list in 4 months (and we both work).

Get your girlfriend to call a local florist re the flowers, if her family live nearby she could get her mother/aunt/sister etc to go in and meet the florist and actually pick them out with a rough budget in mind.....that's what I did. I booked the florist but my mother & her flower-arranging friend went in and met them and did the detailed bit.

I would defo not skip the videographer, it's money well spent and only cost half as much as the photographer in our case. It's amazing to have the video of the day as you spend so much money on the day, it's such a huge day in your life and to have a record of it is priceless. I found there were several videographers available at short notice, photographers were a lot harder to find at short notice.

CorkClaire82

Regarding the flowers, my mother was supposed to make the 2 bouquets and the button holes but it all got a bit stressful for her so we went down to the local florists 2 days before the wedding and ordered everything, easy peasy! So I think don't stress about that cos you'll get sorted.

For the invites we used Wedding Scribblers, fab to deal, loads of designs and very quick. Try and get them sorted early so you can send them out and forget about them.

With the rings we went to Brereton's on Capel St about 5 weeks before the wedding, they only came in 3 days before the wedding and I'd to collect them before heading down to Cork! So maybe get a wriggle on with those if you want something unusual, mine was fine but my husband's needed resizing so it was a bit of hassle.

Finally, don't stress, you'll be grand, 4 months is long enough!

michellie

We have just under 4 months left to, literally doing stuff every weekend now for the next few weeks, we met the priest last week and we are calling into the hotel tomorrow because we haven't met with the new manager.

Notification of intent to marry - just make sure you have all your document so you don't have to go back a 2nd time!

Pre-marriage course- our priest has said that we don't have to do it(Fiance is starting a new job Monday and I have no idea when we would be able to do it- told the priest that and he was fine with it)

Suits for the groom/groomsmen etc.-we have picked out ours, ordered fiances one to buy it and are renting the rest of the boys

Flowers-just ring around a few places,Facebook is great for this kind of thing too, a lot of places do packages- I originally booked flowers 2 years ago when we booked the wedding but she cancelled in January via email !! Found a new one straight away.

Videographer- our photographer Is doing our video too(he brings along someone else to record)

Rings-can work out cheaper to get custom made, check it out!

Church booklet- I made up a church booklet in word in work the other day! I Will get nice paper and print them in July

Electric

OP - on letters of freedom, you don't actually need them.

You can do a statutory declaration to say that neither of you have been married before. If you do a Google search you'll find templates online. If you have a friend who is a solicitor they can witness it for you. If not a Commissioner for Oaths will do it.