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Would you allow opposite sex sleepovers?

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  • 19-03-2016 10:14am
    #1
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 25


    When I was a teen I never had sleepovers of any but my parents said to me I could have them as long as they weren't a girl.

    I always wondered though what would there reaction have been like If I was gay. Would they have allowed girls but not boys over?

    What would your policy be for gay teens and straight teens?


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,858 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    When I was a teen I never had sleepovers of any but my parents said to me I could have them as long as they weren't a girl.

    I always wondered though what would there reaction have been like If I was gay. Would they have allowed girls but not boys over?

    What would your policy be for gay teens and straight teens?

    I wouldn't allow same sex sleepovers for straight teens, or same sex for gay teens. Just too risky! I would if there was a group and an adult present or maybe if they were 17 and in a relationship and we're educated about safe sex.
    If the teen was gay I would allow a sleepover with a straight teen of the same sex. It is a tricky one to know what to do.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,012 ✭✭✭2RockMountain


    I was just thinking about how all the controls and supervision for kids trips away with scouts or football club or whatever assume that all kids are straight.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,807 ✭✭✭✭Orion


    YellowLead wrote: »
    I wouldn't allow same sex sleepovers for straight teens, or same sex for gay teens. Just too risky! I would if there was a group and an adult present or maybe if they were 17 and in a relationship and we're educated about safe sex.
    If the teen was gay I would allow a sleepover with a straight teen of the same sex. It is a tricky one to know what to do.
    None of that actually makes any sense.
    I was just thinking about how all the controls and supervision for kids trips away with scouts or football club or whatever assume that all kids are straight.

    I can answer for scouts in Ireland. It's girls tents and boys tents. I personally don't agree with it but that's the rule. In our group we have gay, bi, non-binary and straight kids. But catholic Ireland rules still apply - girls and boys separated regardless of their sexuality.


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,858 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    Orion wrote: »
    None of that actually makes any sense.

    Oops, that's because I meant to say I wouldn't allow opposite sex sleepovers for straight kids at the start of the post. Rest of it all makes sense as far as I can see! Interesting to learn of the Scouts tent rules, I bet lots of other groups are exactly the same - school tours etc.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,707 ✭✭✭BeardySi


    Orion wrote: »
    I can answer for scouts in Ireland. It's girls tents and boys tents. I personally don't agree with it but that's the rule. In our group we have gay, bi, non-binary and straight kids. But catholic Ireland rules still apply - girls and boys separated regardless of their sexuality.

    Thankfully aren't as restricted up here (TSA). As long as everyone (leaders, scouts and parents) are happy, we can arrange things as we need. That said, things usually fall into the boy/girl line - but at least we've got the flexibility to vary it as needed.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 358 ✭✭noel100


    My daughter is 24 now has told me that a couple of her girl friends when they were in their late teens had their first sexual experience at sleepovers. These would been all girls and are all straight now. Just experimenting..


  • Registered Users Posts: 358 ✭✭noel100


    My daughter is 24 now has told me that a couple of her girl friends when they were in their late teens had their first sexual experience at sleepovers. These would been all girls and are all straight now. Just experimenting..


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,807 ✭✭✭✭Orion


    Treadhead wrote: »
    Thankfully aren't as restricted up here (TSA). As long as everyone (leaders, scouts and parents) are happy, we can arrange things as we need. That said, things usually fall into the boy/girl line - but at least we've got the flexibility to vary it as needed.

    That's interesting. I was under the impression that TSA had the same rule in this regard as SI. It's in our Code of Good Practice: "code of good practice states that appropriate sleeping arrangements be in operation to protect gender boundaries."

    This doesn't take into account the scout's wishes, gender identities, or sexuality. TBH it probably would normally fall into boy/girl tents but if a patrol wanted to share an icelandic I, personally, wouldn't have a problem. And I'm saying this with 2 daughters of my own in scouts also.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,707 ✭✭✭BeardySi


    Orion wrote: »
    That's interesting. I was under the impression that TSA had the same rule in this regard as SI. It's in our Code of Good Practice: "code of good practice states that appropriate sleeping arrangements be in operation to protect gender boundaries."

    This doesn't take into account the scout's wishes, gender identities, or sexuality. TBH it probably would normally fall into boy/girl tents but if a patrol wanted to share an icelandic I, personally, wouldn't have a problem. And I'm saying this with 2 daughters of my own in scouts also.

    The rules say we SHOULD provide separate sleeping and that we MUST provide privacy for changing etc. The various factsheets make it clear that sharing is acceptable once everyone is happy with the arrangements.

    Handy in situations like a few weeks ago when we had a very early departure from the Essex jamboree - we could get our accommodation tents down the night before and sleep all the scouts and explorers in the mess tents together.

    That said many leaders will tell you it's not allowed out of ignorance of the rules, old fashioned ideas or plain pig headedness! ;)


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