Something wrong with me when it comes to flirting

LegacyUser

I'm a 30 year old woman who is single for about 8 months and at this stage I have started to go back on the dating scene
The thing is as soon as I show some interest in something and we start to get along and go on a date the other person decides to go..in my opinion "full on" straight after the first date! sexting, what they would do to me... all the pet names under the sky.. the works !!

I'm a introvert, I like hanging out with a few people but need my me time to build myself up after events because I can find them quite draining.

I suppose I'm just wanting to ask is there something wrong with me that I instantly turn off when people start going full throttle so early on into dating? I like to get to know someone before I can be comfortable enough in flirting.. I have the most epic of brain farts when it comes to flirting! Should I be more open to it even if it is way out of my comfort zone?

I feel like this should be something that people experience in their 20's and not their early thirties

silverharp

Are your expectations in line with the men you are meeting? Pure guess here but are you meeting guys that just want casual sex? I would have thought that any man dating with the potential of it being something more long term wouldn't want to blow it by being over familiar at the start.

B.A._Baracus

Hey op,
You are meeting the sort who just want sex. It happens to everyone.
But it sounds like you are using online dating, right? which is well known for people just wanting sex. Both men and woman alike.


Just keep at it. You'll eventually meet someone who wants you and vice versa.

beks101

Agree with the above, totally symptomatic of online dating. Give an inch and they'll take a mile with the banter and innuendo.

Next time it happens, just shut it down with something like, "that's a bit forward, isn't it?" or "how about we hold off on the sexting until we've known each other more than five minutes?""

Tigger99

Unfortunately it's very common in online dating in my experience to get those type of unsolicited messages. I wonder do some guys think it's expected or something? Anyway you are not missing any flirting gene. And any sound guy will respect that if you say it's too early. I think it's a great filter for idiots if they don't.

dellas1979

Well, we assume (and I do too) that you are doing online dating.
I agree with everything posters have said above about that world.

I have dipped my toes into the world of online dating (it is not for me tho-something similar to your explanation about yourself above). And the amount of diccie piccies and language used and forwardness really pissed me off.

But you can control the type of people contacting you. In your profile, maybe add that you are a nice girl, looking for a relationship, and value getting to know people.

That will weed out almost instantly the type of person contacting you.

magneticimpulse

30s is the new 20s - especially when it comes to dating. Yes you will get guys looking for casual sex whether it's online or in bars.

Tigger99

Unfortunately online dating doesn't work that way dellas. In fact I suspect if someone put that up they'd get a lot more weirdos.

dellas1979

Tigger99 wrote: »

Unfortunately online dating doesn't work that way dellas. In fact I suspect if someone put that up they'd get a lot more weirdos.

Why-have you personally tried that? Tell us your experience of having done that.

It worked for me.