Need Opinion / Advice

Whattodo12

1

CaraMay

He's a total messer who doesn't know what he wants so I would strongly suggest you take this time to move on. It's been an awful start to a relationship and he's really all over the shop. Move on and meet someone without his issues.

screamer

Sounds like a total rebound relationship. Chances are he threw himself into it to get over the other one and ended up messed up. Also sounds like what you and he had got way too serious way too soon and that can make people think twice. TBH sounds like a lot of dramatics on both sides and I think not talking etc is childish. If you want him back I think you need to be honest with him give him some space and cool the jets a bit if you do get back together.

Whattodo12

Thanks guys. The not talking is not childish, we ended up on good terms technically, but we both need head space. I really don't think he meant to mess around. He insisted I wasn't a rebound relationship but I don't think he knows where he stands to be honest.
If we got back together, I definitely have learnt my lesson. But thats IF.

Merkin

I'd avoid him like the plague. He doesn't know what he wants, is happy to blow hot and cold and expects you to react accordingly. I'd cut him loose permanently, delete from social networks etc.

batmanrobin

I had posted in one of the other threads you put up, OP, but it seems to have been deleted.

I'd second what's been said. It sounds like he was trying to recreate what he had with her, with you (been there!).

What he should have done was take a good 6 months to sort his head out. Not jumping into a relationship with you and blowing hot and cold. Even the way he said goodbye to you seemed drama riddled!

Leave him to it. He's not fit for anyone right now. I would suggest you block him on everything and try to move forward. I suggest blocking only because he might decide to blow hot again and then has another freak out and pulls back.

Whattodo12

I'm actually really surprised by how harsh are the reactions. I wonder if I explained right. I understand that the main take away is Forget it though Not what I want to hear but what I need to hear I guess.

But just to clarify, he was making loads of efforts, was always very thoughtful etc. Apart from that half hour two weeks in, for which he apologized, and obviously the break-up he was committed and caring.

Now I'm in love with him, but also can see myself wanting to be friends with him in a few months. We work in the same industry, live in the same town, have friends in common and didn't have a bad break up so I would feel really rude and dramatic to delete him from Facebook. Also I dont want to miss on some events in case he might attend.

Whattodo12

Thats a very good point, about recreating what he had. Ah well

batmanrobin wrote: »

I had posted in one of the other threads you put up, OP, but it seems to have been deleted.

I'd second what's been said. It sounds like he was trying to recreate what he had with her, with you (been there!).

What he should have done was take a good 6 months to sort his head out. Not jumping into a relationship with you and blowing hot and cold. Even the way he said goodbye to you seemed drama riddled!

Leave him to it. He's not fit for anyone right now. I would suggest you block him on everything and try to move forward. I suggest blocking only because he might decide to blow hot again and then has another freak out and pulls back.

batmanrobin

Whattodo12 wrote: »

Now I'm in love with him, but also can see myself wanting to be friends with him in a few months. We work in the same industry, live in the same town, have friends in common and didn't have a bad break up so I would feel really rude and dramatic to delete him from Facebook. Also I dont want to miss on some events in case he might attend.

You're in love with him, so of course you're hoping there can continue to be some kind of contact.

You need to realise that he isn't fully over his ex and that relationship. He needs time by himself and you need to try to move forward. Maybe at some point down the line when his head is in a better place, the two of you might reconnect. Right now though, for your own sake, I'd be focussing on avoiding him, no online stalking, no contact.

The way he is now, you couldn't have a proper relationship. He's not able for it.

LegacyUser

OP I was literally in your exact situation back in January, had been with him 6 months which had started when he was only 2 months out of a 6 year relationship. I knew from the get go it was a bad idea and he couldn't possibly be over the breakup and thinking clearly but I fell for him anyway and ended up heartbroken when he inevitably had his little freak out that everything was moving too fast and he couldn't think straight and dumped me. I went cold turkey essentially, no FB friends, no texts, calls anything. Have erased him from my life even though he begged to be friends with me and couldn't believe "I could be so cruel". I had to do this for my own sanity and it's what you need to do now. 2 months ago I cried everyday, I couldn't eat or sleep and I certainly believed when he'd had enough time by himself he'd come back to me and we'd be together. 2 months on I'm doing great, I never want to be friends with him and certainly wouldn't have him back now, time really does sort everything. Stay busy and strong, you'll be fine in no time