Job loss

LegacyUser

Hi everyone.
For the first time in my life I was let go of a job a month ago and I am finding it very hard to cope.

I do not think it is the fact that I was fired, but the way how I was treated in this regard in the end in this company, where everything seemed nice and marry just until recently, actually until they called me to the office and told me that out of the blue.

It seriously came down on me as a shock. The meeting went in some hostile atmosphere, that I do not understand why it had to be that way, perhaps I am still not the best at what I do but I was certainly not the worst either, while the next day they tried to play nicely and to calm the voice down etc, but I was already seriously hurt like a person.

It looked to me as if I am watching some soap opera and totally unreal.

I know I will move on and find another job very soon but this hit me like a train. I did lose a job before in the recession but that was another story.

Thanks for reading.

via4

So sorry to hear about what happened. It doesn't sound like they dealt with that meeting in a professional manner. I feel like your better off out of there and you will end up in a better job with a nicer boss in the future.

littelady

Write everything down now when it's fresh in your mind in case you feel the need for a tribunal.

Ursus Horribilis

Did they give you any reason why they were firing you?

Losing your job is a horrible thing. Especially if you feel you were singled out because they didn't like you as a person/worker. Or indeed if they found fault with your work and never let you know. That sort of thing is personal and in some ways it's like being dumped. You are being told that you're not wanted.

I hope you are now putting all your energies into trying to find another job. You can't change what they did to you but the sooner you put it all behind you, the better.

shafty100

dont dwell on this for to long and the sooner you start a new job this will become a distant memory , if you look around at the tens of thousands of people who have emigrated or lost homes an businesses etc or the unfortunate families who have lost family members due to tragedy then you will realise that you problem is only a small issue and a lesson in itself so as afriend of mine says , its a bit like a ten foot wall , get over it lol

LegacyUser

Thank you everyone. I find this situation very hard. I admit that I have been drinking in the last few days - for the weekend after I finished my last day at the job on Friday last week.
The thing is that the reason my boss told me as the reason for dismissal does not "drink the water" as it simply is not true. And he even admitted that it is not and he gave me a good reference.
It seems he prepared this for the last two months while I had no clue and was doing my job as good as I could.
I hope I will find a new job soon but this hit me badly and I lost all the confidence in myself. I am not even sure how to go to an interview after this as I feel totally incompetent.
As I am not very young but middle aged man I also fear of that being the issue in me finding another job. I hope not, but the fear is there.

Ursus Horribilis

You need to knock the drinking on the head as soon as possible. Alcohol is a depressant and it's not helping you one bit. You've been through a horrible month but you need to take action or you'll spend your days wallowing in self-pity and getting drunk. You seem to be stuck in a rut already. You've had a month to come to terms with your employer telling you that your job was gone. You don't appear to have made any progress in this regard. You're going on and on about how this has hit you very hard. I'm not denying that is has and that it's hurting you. But, so what? The bottom line here is that you are now an unemployed man with nowhere to go on Monday morning. One who's in danger of turning to the bottle as solace for what has happened to him.

You didn't mention anything about job hunting. Have you tried looking for another job yet? You've got a good reference from your ex boss in your pocket so that's not too bad. You need to start looking for jobs asap. Also, in the meantime is there any volunteering you could do? You've got to get yourself out of the house instead of sitting at home obsessing over how you were shafted and how your confidence has disappeared .

I think you could do with talking to someone. If you can't afford to pay a counsellor (there are low-cost counselling links on the sticky here), you could do worse than ringing the Samaritans 116 123.

Ryan Mac Sweeney

Hi there
I have read your post. I am so sorry that this has happened. I am actually in a similar situation as you. Last September I started a job in the Farmgate Cafe in the English Market but the hours I got was just 1 day a week for 2 hrs. So at the end of November last I gave in my notice and since then I have been struggling to find work. I know its terrible what happened but you will get a new job soon and once you start this will be ancient history. Also if you are starting to feel depressed you should get help. First go and see your GP and explain your situation to him or her and ask for a referral to a psycharistic. You could also contact the Samartains on 116123 or Pieta House or Aware if you feel you cant cope anymore.

LegacyUser

Thank you both. I understand what you are saying Odus, I drank last night last resorts of alcohol I had in the house but did not go to the shop to buy some more like before.
I did apply for 3 jobs, I got a call today for the interview on Monday.
But I was so nervous even in this call from the person who was arranging the phone interview that I have no clue how will I got with the interview itself, i am very scared i will not be called further.

Ryan yes I can recognize some sort of depression in me. I will try to arrange the visit to my GP perhaps next week.

I am very pulled to do nothing and just let be absorbed in self-pity, it is true. Going to shop to get another bottle of wine is tempting though, even I know it is not constructive at all. But i still feel embarrassed from what happened. I have been losing jobs before but never like this.

Not sure I am ready for the interview or another job yet at all to be honest... IF I get another round (face to face) seeing me this broken and demoralized will not help me.

Ursus Horribilis

How about ringing The Samaritans or turn2me.org? Or one of the other organisations mentioned in the sticky on the front of this forum http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057178293

I reckon if you picked the phone today or tomorrow and talked to someone, it would help you. You are obviously shattered and don't seem to have anyone in your life to talk to about this. It's so sad that you're embarrassed by what happened and have let it get in on you to this extent. By turning to the bottle and getting so upset, you're letting that shower win. They're not worth it. Talking to a stranger and getting this off your chest could be the best thing you do this weekend.

This shouldn't be all doom and gloom. You've got an interview lined up for Monday and a positive reference from your ex-employer in your back pocket. Both of these are really good things. Maybe you'll get the job, maybe you won't. It would be a crying shame if you scuppered your chances before you opened your mouth because you're stuck in the past.

kjl

were you fired or made redundant?

If you were fired this is more than against the law. You can't just bring someone in one day out of the blue and fire them. You have to be given 3 warnings, 2 verbal and 1 written.

I would be contacting my lawyer for an unfair dismissal case if I was you.

LegacyUser

Hi, well I had that interview, I will be informed in couple of days how did I do in it, not sure how it went. Anyway talking on the phone is one thing but person to person another. I am still shaken. Do not believe in my capabilities at all after what happened and I let it.


@kjl - I was fired, not made redundant. There were some paragraphs in the contract that were allowing him to do so. My bad I didn't read it correctly, or even cared at the time.

Ursus Horribilis

Guest135 wrote: »

Hi, well I had that interview, I will be informed in couple of days how did I do in it, not sure how it went. Anyway talking on the phone is one thing but person to person another. I am still shaken. Do not believe in my capabilities at all after what happened and I let it..

This is why you need to urgently talk to someone and get your head into a better place. Every single time you've posted here, you've mentioned that you're shaken and have lost all confidence in yourself. As I said before, you are stuck in a rut. Obsessing about why you were fired and beating yourself up about what you believe are your own inadequacies are going to get you nowhere. The more you're telling yourself that you were fired for not being good enough, that you're shaken, that your confidence is shot, the more damage you're doing to yourself.

I am not going to comment on whether you should or should not be looking at unfair dismissal here. To me, your priority should be to get yourself another job as soon as you can. Not just so that you can start earning a wage again. But for your own mental wellbeing. The sooner you put this unfortunate experience behind you, the better. If you're walking into interviews as the shattered person you are, you're going to make it harder for yourself to start again. So please, I implore you again to go get help. Talk to your GP, contact someone in the stickies I mentioned. Do something. I have this horrible fear that you're just going to sit at home like a broken record, going on and on and on about how you were fired and how inadequate you are.

screamer

OP the answers to life's problems are never found in the bottom of a bottle.
I do not understand the reason for you losing your job from your posts or how long you worked for them so I can't comment on that but if you don't clear your head, stop drinking and give yourself a chance, how do you expect any future employer to? if you are feeling down please go see your GP and take care of yourself.

LegacyUser

Hi all. I have posted here few days ago but my post has not been published and I am not sure why.

Anyway, just thought to say that the phone interview went well and I was called to a face-to-face interview. With 7 other candidates.

I think I managed to do well in first part of the task they gave us, but in the other part - it being more detailed interview of my skills I simply could not remember things as I was so nervous and felt anxiety is taking the better side of me.

I have no idea how it will be summarized, they will let us know of the results by end of next week.

I am not optimistic. I wish I am but I am preparing also for not such good news.
As I first said its been a while since I had an interview for a job, and this took me unprepared, specially as they told me one afternoon before the interview so I had no time to prepare for it.

I really wish and have my fingers crossed for this, I would be so happy if I go through and they call me with an offer.

Thanks everyone, it meant to be able to talk about this.
I have been drinking a bit since but cut it down to some acceptable level, just want to have this over with.

Ursus Horribilis

Fingers crossed it works out for you. Even if it does, I still think you could do with a bit of help. Doing the maths here, you were told you were being let go 6 weeks ago now? That is a long time to be harbouring the devastation of that. The danger is that even if you get another job, you'll be haunted by what happened in the last one and you'll be a ball of nerves and anxiety. You don't need that. Swallow your pride. Look for help from a human being, not the bottle.

LegacyUser

Yes just thought to say I did not go through, received a typical letter how they are so very sorry but have a better match...
I am frozen at this stage, not capable to do anything, feel panic attacks even if move out of bed...
I really hope it will pass me and that i will be able to start something new. I hope not to drown to the bottom before can start coming back up.
Thank you everyone for your good wishes and suggestions.

Ursus Horribilis

You have been advised to contact your GP but I bet you haven't gone yet. I don't want to go down the road of medical diagnosis here but I think you need to get yourself to the doctor as soon as possible. Instead of pulling yourself out of this slump you found yourself in, you appear to be getting progressively worse. Anxiety, panic attacks, inability to get out of bed, low mood etc. Those are all emotions that a trained professional can help you with. I don't think your average boardsie can help you much more really. Please seek help as soon as possible.