Where to go from here? Friend advice

Scobert Doo

Thanks in advance for any help! Sorry for the wall of text

TLDR: hanky panky with a friend want to know how to proceed

A few months ago at a New Year's Eve party myself and this friend shifted. We were both nicely at the time and joked about it later. Kept on being friends...

Next session with our entire group, we ended up having to share a bed. She ended up shifting me again during the night may have progressed to more but were interrupted.

This seems to be a pattern. She mostly initiates it anytime it happens but it's usually at the end of a night out. A week ago after a few of these encounters we end up having sex.
Neither of us commented on it but definitely enjoyed it at the time. We've kept all of this quiet from friends.

I should say We have both been on dates and been casually seeing other people during this time.

I honestly just don't know where to go with this, she's an amazing friend who I have known for ages, she is drop dead gorgeous. We are both single, could be great together or it could blow up in our faces. She has had problems with guy friends falling for her and then ruining friendship before and doesn't want to happen again.

I just want to keep our friendship intact. Whatever way works best.
I need help on how to proceed here.
Has anyone experienced something like this before? Or any advice at all?

bee06

I think you just have to ask her. That's the only way you'll know for sure what she's thinking.

Scobert Doo

Thanks for the reply.
I don't know how to approach it with her. We've never discussed any of this before and just from knowing how she has been with previous boyfriends, she is quite skittish on this kind of stuff. She can just shut down if she feels things move to fast.
Any ideas on how to approach her?

LegacyUser

To be honest you both have already overstepped the boundaries of friendship and there is no going back to a platonic relationship.
You only live once and you're halfway there already

HelgaWard

If you like her as more than just friends (with benefits), ask her out on a date, be clear it is a date you are asking her on, if she's interested she'll say yes. If not go back to being just friends.

Lavinia

I am not sure from your initial post OP if you know exactly what is you want with this person. Are you clear in yourself? If - as you say, all you want is friendship then how come you slept with her and could that be friendly only?

And if you two never talked about it, perhaps it is time to do so : )



she may be as confused as you are : )

Scobert Doo

Thanks I think you're right I'm not really too sure myself. Half of me does want to see where this could go the other half wants Togo back to the way things were before. I'm just gonna call her and talk about it frankly no more tiptoeing around.

Thanks to everyone for posting it really helped me get things straight in my head.

KikiDee

Hey OP,

I think Lavinia is right. You don't mention at all what you might want from this. Maybe work that out first and then work on getting it

Scobert Doo

Thanks for all the replies. It really helped me sort out what I actually wanted.
Just an update for anyone interested we are just going back to being friends. Moving past and pretending we never fooled around at all. Hope everything settles down to the way things were before.

jones 19

You'll be back here within a month.
If she gets frisky again some night, play hard ball and see how she reacts.