My parents want me to go to Therapy (CBT)

LegacyUser

I'm 18, in Leaving Cert, and I went to a career guidance counsellor, came out thinking 'oh that's what I want to do' sat with it for awhile and realised it's not.
My mother told her, she said she'd get back to us. Then she did and she suggested I go to Cognitive behavioural therapy, for lack of self confidence, anxiety and inability to make decisions.(well she thought it might help), because apparently I'm cutting off possible options.

This was a shock to me when my parents suggested it. I basically replied with 'I'm not going to a f******* therapist!'
Even before this our relationship has been getting strained, usually with atleast 4 shouting bouts a week.. It can be as stupid, just them not understanding something and then making incorrect comments.

This all ended with a 'well I'm 18, and while you could physically bring me there, there is no way you can make me go in and participate', but they've decided I'm going to go because 'my lack of confidence is holding me back' even though I was much worse 3-4 years ago and no one batted an eye. I mean I'm performing on stage for the first time Wednesday two weeks!, something I would not have dreamt of doing years ago.
Then again, I'm the type lad to not message in group chats but to send in private chat.
I don't like sending snapchats with stupid faces... I'm the quiet person in our group. But one on one, I'm great, that's what the careers counsellor told me, my friends are one on one friends, I talk to the girls I like one on one, just us.

I mean I never though this was an issue, I assumed it was my nature.
I've gotten better at public speaking but at the same time I'm usually too shy to make a move on a girl even when I know she likes me.. But I assumed that was just who I was, and being told I'm going to counselling whether I like it or not makes me second guess myself and now I'm careful with what I say around others.. Especially my parents because I'm open around my dad, I'll say 'no I don't care for that kind of thing, I'm not a people person'. It's kind of sickening to think that others think there is something wrong with me from what I let them hear.
Maybe I do need therapy? It's obviously bad enough if I missed 101 chances with this amazing girl for what I can see as me not acting on my convictions and the fact that she still hangs around me amazes me (and my friends, I mean she's stupidly attractive!) but I did miss the numerous chances to ask her to our school graduation.. Something I'm having a hard time dealing with..
What do you think?

Faith

When you think about it, what's your actual objection to therapy? It's not clear from your post, and reflecting on why you have such strong feelings about it might be useful for you.

I'm on the opinion that everyone can benefit from CBT. Even the most well-adjusted people have some faulty and negative thought patterns that are destructive. CBT is a way to better yourself, no matter how great you already are.

I also find it very concerning that you're having 4 shouting arguments with your parents per week, over misunderstandings. That's not healthy, and it sounds like there's a real lack of communication between your parents and you. That's something CBT could be useful for - helping you improve communication skills so that these misunderstandings don't happen, and if they do, they can be resolved calmly, without shouting matches.

bp

I think everyone needs therapy at some stage in their life to be honest, regardless of their situation.

Well done for working on your issues, 18 is a funny age as you are on the cusp of leaving school (you are not in control) to go to college (left to your own devices).

With regards fighting with your parents don't forget they were 18 once too and love you. Maybe group mediation would be a good idea to help them understand you (I am about a decade older and snapchat etc baffles me so imagine how they feel).

Anyway good luck with your career path and leaving cert

Ursus Horribilis

What I'm curious about is what made the career guidance counsellor recommend this to your parents? I don't think this is about you changing your mind about the career choice you'd briefly chosen. People changing their minds about their future careers and what to put on their CAO happens more often than you'd think. I also doubt that everyone who goes to see a career guidance counsellor comes away with definite ideas in their heads.

I can't help but think that when you were in with the counsellor, your attitude and general demeanour set off alarm bells with her. Sometimes it takes an outsider to spot things that are wrong with us. Like the person above me, that comment about having shouting matches with your parents so often is ringing alarm bells. That's not normal behaviour and it must be making home a very fraught place for you all.

The way I see it, going to see the therapist once isn't going to do you any harm. You might learn something useful from it and get better at coping with your home life. It might also be worth chatting to the therapist about how you've dealt with the anxiety you have and get some feedback on what you're doing. If your parents are prepared to pay for you to go to a therapist, at least go once. You can decide after the first session whether you want to go back or not. Nobody's going to force you to do anything.

intheclouds

I think you should definitely do it!

It's a great opportunity for self development, improvement and overall well being. There are literally NO negatives.

You need to see this as something valuable that you are being offered, something that will be good for you. Think of like like being given a health boost, but it's a mental health boost.

I can tell you, as someone more than twice your age, if someone offered me free cbt, I'd jump at it! Loads of people would love it but can't afford it.

Your mental health and well being is everything in life. So do it, and enjoy it!

Best of luck!

Wompa1

I went to therapy and while it wasn't for me, I gave it a go and I'm happy that I got to experience it. You learn about the process and you can pick up some useful tips for structuring your thoughts...