violent teenage son attacking our family

LegacyUser

wish I didn't have to write this tonight but I need some advice on what we can do or what services we can avail of to deal with our anti-social family member.

To put it simply they're being very difficult to deal with. He's 17 and has a very good life, good home, we tried to support him as best as we could. But he keeps throwing it back in our face.

He's ungrateful, has no respect, and refuses to accept responsibilty what so ever. Every week he's getting in serious trouble at school and is nearly being expelled.

We've tried everything, and its now gotten to the stage when we try implement any form of punishment i.e banning him from the tv or playstation for a few days, or banning him from going on school trips he responds with verbal abuse and confrontation.

A few times now it's gotten to the stage where it's become physical.

Tonight we were reprimanding him after seriously getting in trouble in school, but he refused to get off the playstation no matter how much we spoke to him. It all errupted and he tried to physically assault my mother with a hurley, he spat at us, and constantly insisted he was in the right and we were all sorts of horrible things.

I was nearly going to call the gardai. I don't know how to deal with it. He went to assault my mother and we had to pin him to the floor.



What can we do? I realise he most likely has some serious mental issues and that its difficult for him to deal with his emotions. But we don't know where to turn?

The gardai?
His GP?


to be honest i know he will only respond to any sort of mediation or outside help (welfare officer) with agression so im really hesitant.

What can we do??

neemish

Firstly, fair play to you for recognising that the situation is getting out of hand & that you need some help with it. It must be heart breaking to watch a family member behave like that.

I would definitely encourage your mother to make an appointment with his GP asap and have a chat. He is obviously going through a tough time within himself, and needs help. I don't know if they are in your area, but JIGSAW are a great organisation for helping young people and their families

If it is an emergency, then I wouldn't hesitate to ring the Guards. It might seem OTT, but it's a much better option than having a violent situation get out of control.

Get help, do it as a matter of urgency. Even if your family member won't go, get support for yourselves. This isn't something you should go through alone

Colser

How does he get on with his own age group,has he got friends?

Ryan Mac Sweeney

Hi there
I have read your post. I feel really sorry for what you and your family are going through at the moment and what happened to your mother. Yes its terrible that it happened. My advice to you would be to first get your mother to contact your GP first and discuss things through. If its an emergency yes you should phone the Gardai. When will he 18 by the way? That sort of behaviour is assault and if he does hit you or if he tries to attack your mother again then phone the Gardai immediately and have him arrested and charged with assault. With relation to him in school you should definitely have a chat with the principal and his teacher about his behaviour at home and also metion the incident regarding your mother and see if they can try and help. You could also contact TUSLA (Child & Family Agency) just google their number and speak to them about your situation and ask if they can send out a social worker to speak to him about his behaviour. I know its a horrible situation to be in so the sooner you get help the better. Also see if there is someone in your family that he can stay with with if he gets out of hand.
Best of Luck and my heart goes out to you and your mother.

celligraphy

So sorry for you op and your family difficulties, better off calling the gardai on him next time it 'll scare him for the better . Knew a guy exactly like your brother , spoiled rotten , great family , completely bold teenager from age 11 until 20, he only grew up after being thrown out of home for anger issues and had to live in a hostel , changed him completely

Tunage

Hi OP,

I'm very sorry to hear that you're having a difficult time with your son and his behaviour. You mentioned school a few times, why not go and talk to some of his teachers and see if they would be able to shed some light on his general school life?

Could he being bullied in school and taking it out on you guys at home? They'll also be able to shed light on the types of kids he hangs around with at school, are they getting in to trouble as well but he may be trying to be the top badass?

There are all kinds of websites and help forums online for teenagers now so why not go and look at them yourself and maybe use some of the tips there to help him without him realising until you could get to a point where he would agree to getting some counsilling?

I hope this helps x