Is this a stupid idea or could it work?

RyanDrive

My friend is 24, never had a girlfriend/I suspect kissed a girl, he has had a rough couple of years, brother went to prison, parents are cnuts, lost his job over something really stupid and to top it all of was in a car accident and has a massive scar on his face.

We all decided to go away for a weekend (away from girlfriends/wives etc) and while we're there we would pay a prosititute that he could "Pull" and this might give him a bit of a boost. Obviously we'd never tell him. It sounds stupid but the more we talk about the better idea it is?

Bunny Colvin

While your intentions may be good, you're setting your friend up for humiliation if he finds out. People talk, it might come out after a few drinks or down the line, someone might throw it in his face during an argument.

Give him encouragement or act as a wing man during a night out while not putting pressure on him.

Taboola

I think that's a really bad idea and very deceptive. If your friend wants to hire a prostitute let him do that himself.

Has he expressed to you personally that he's down about having never had sex? It might not be as big an issue for him as it is for you.

Idle Passerby

Uhh he's your friend so you know best whether he'el like this idea. I find it fairly patronising and disengenious.

Paying a woman to sleep with him might scratch an itch but will do nothing for his sense of self worth. How would he feel knowing the lot of you think thats his best option and are outside cheering him on? Personally I think its a horrible idea but Im a woman.

MissFlitworth

If you felt a bit badly about yourself imagine how much worse you'd feel knowing that the first person you thought you'd managed to seduce/pull was only with you because they were paid to be. And as you're chatting about this as a group and would have to keep it a secret for another 50 or so years, he probably will find out at some stage.

eviltwin

It's a terrible idea. I can see your intentions are genuine but it's not fair to deceive him like that. I doubt you would find a woman who could convincingly act like she's just a random woman. Then you have to hope that no one will tell him. If he is that desperate he can hire a prostitute himself, he doesn't need to be duped into it. If he finds out you were even seriously considering this think of the embarrassment he'd feel.

Its a terrible idea IMO. But look its great he has a group of friends that care about him enough to come up with such a convoluted plan. I suggest you spend the weekend showing him that love and make him feel good that way.
BTW I think with your description of him esp scar on face, there's a chance, however slim that he could see this thread and your rouse would be uncovered.

mapaca

No, I think it's a terrible idea and could so easily go wrong! Think how awful he would feel if he found out you did this.

Atlantic Dawn

It's a terrible idea, he would eventually find out, there's no way it would be kept secret. Does he have to ride a girl to somehow be up to your standard of friend?

Why not introduce him to Tinder or give him a voucher for some dating website instead?

pgj2015

Atlantic Dawn wrote: »

Why not introduce him to Tinder or give him a voucher for some dating website instead?

Don't do this op, it is as patronizing as hiring a prostitute for him, if my friends hired a prostitute for me, they would no longer be my friends, what if he catches an std from her? awful childish idea.

RyanDrive

Atlantic Dawn wrote: »

It's a terrible idea, he would eventually find out, there's no way it would be kept secret. Does he have to ride a girl to somehow be up to your standard of friend?

Why not introduce him to Tinder or give him a voucher for some dating website instead?

No, not at all. But I do know his lack of success with women is something that gets him down. He tried Tinder and other online dating - no luck unfortunately.

athtrasna

I think it's a horrible idea, mean rather than helpful. Sorry OP.

Not everyone is living the lad life at his age, some people are late bloomers.

Icaras

Thoughtful but a terrible idea. The only way it will stay secret is if you're the only one that knows and never tell anyone.

The bigger the group the sooner it will come out. Someone will mention it to a friend or the wife, they will tell someone else in confidence and it will continue until he is the last to know. Imagine if someone told you your first girlfriend was paid to go out with you and everyone else had known for years!

kerryjack

Well OP its not a mad idea like the old saying goes what happens on tour stays on tour you Heart is in the right place I wouldn't mind having a friend like yourself

zoobizoo

Idle Passerby wrote: »

Paying a woman to sleep with him might scratch an itch .

Or might create an itch to scratch.

Introduce him to someone he might get on with.

That will always be with him if it happens and it will be the talk of the town..

I can just see how it would look - like a Waterford Whisperers headline:

"Man with scarred face too ugly to pull - friends help him out with a prossy"

LLMMLL

Doesn't matter if it's a good idea or a bad idea as you'll never find a prostitute who will do it.

Most are very sensitive to being rung up by weirdos who want a chat and talk about their strange requests and will never actually show up. Some guy ringing up asking her to hang out in a bar and trick a guy will dismiss you as a weirdo and hang up.

It's a very silly idea to be honest. Did you see it on a tv show or something?

Rubberchikken

why not introduce him to some female friends of your otherhalves?
tbh, i think you're friend could end up feeling humiliated and it could impact hughly on the friendship you have with him.

while i'm guessing the thought is coming from a good place, i don't think it's one worth pursuing.

freshpopcorn

I personally think it's a terrible idea even though you mean well.
There's lots of other things you might can do to help this guy.
Introduce female friends that might click with him.
Maybe go some where he might meet his type.
If he was saying the wrong thing ye might be able to give him some advice.
If he was overweight/dressing badly ye might be able to go to the gym together/etc.
Another thing to remember is,
Just because this guy doesn't appear to be getting off with women doesn't mean anything,
He could be gay and is just pretending to he interested in women.
He might have issues regarding having sex.

Idle Passerby

Another thing OP, youd have to find a sex worker thats willing to act interested in him and play along with the story. I could be wrong but do prostitutes even kiss their customers? What happens if he wants to meet her again? Thinks he's met someone he can start going out with? The whole idea is so juvenile and cringe inducing.

eirbear1989

Sorry if it is said before but have you ever thought maybe he'e not into women and that he doesn't want to tell you and your mates? Just ask him if there is anyone on the scene, and if not is there anyone around in the bar that he would be interested in pulling?? See what happens, but don't get a prostitute!!

Sound Bite

Wow...this is possibly one of the worst ideas I've ever heard of regardless of how well intended.

Put yourself in your friend's shoes for a minute. Imagine how you would feel knowing that your friends thought that you were so hopeless with women that they felt the only thing they could do to help you was to hire a prostitute.

You risk destroying a friendship, completely embarrassing and upsetting him and possibly destroying the little bit of confidence and dignity that the man has left. This could hugely backfire and the potential damage it could do someone already in a vulnerable position could be insurmountable. Do you really think he would not suspect what was going on?

There are numerous other ways you could help. Please don't do this to the man.

RyanDrive

OK so this idea is fairly dead in the water. I just wanted to cheer him up, I know he's desperate for a relationship or something like it - he's a funny (and not in a lad-humour way), sensitive, smart, good-mannered guy but just to be blunt, very ugly.

Idle Passerby

RyanDrive wrote: »

he's a funny (and not in a lad-humour way), sensitive, smart, good-mannered guy but just to be blunt, very ugly.

Then he's unlikely to enjoy being with a woman who is only there for the money. Looks aren't everything. He might find it harder to meet girls now but if hes as nice as you say he should have no trouble in years to come when the girls his own age put more importance into being treated properly.

A scar on his face sounds like a minor barrier to me. If anything his self esteem is probably holding him back more than the scar, and again, feeling like the best he can do is pay a woman to be with him isn't going to help with that. As others have said already, you would be doing him a greater favour in helping him to meet ordinary girls even just to be friends with initially.

woodchuck

Really really really bad idea... for all the reasons already listed. Also, you could also be putting your friends health at risk. Who knows how many people the person would've slept with and if they were being careful or not. Just leave your nose out of your friends sex life, or lack there of!

Neyite

RyanDrive wrote: »

OK so this idea is fairly dead in the water. I just wanted to cheer him up, I know he's desperate for a relationship or something like it - he's a funny (and not in a lad-humour way), sensitive, smart, good-mannered guy but just to be blunt, very ugly.

He sounds nice. Look, I can understand you were thinking of a nice thing to do, but say you set it up as a once night stand. Then she declines to see him again or he's baffled that she wont go on a date after sleeping with him, not knowing she's a prostitute. That might do more damage to his self esteem in the long run. He could also have moral or ethical aversion to availing of a sex worker. Lots do.

And you've said he wants a relationship anyway. That's about intimacy and companionship and affection. Not really something you'd get from a sex worker in an hour.

What you could do though with your group is widen the social circle - with a view to just being around more mixed groups in a more informal setting. A lot of my dates were from friends of work colleagues, friends of flatmates, friends from hobby groups or educational groups. This is the perfect time of year for some of you to get out and do something new so he wont see it as suspicious. So, tag rugby, running, or any kind of hobby group that might just get him making friends, or lets women chat to him away from the pulling scene so that they can see the good qualities in him that you do.

cloudatlas

On holiday where would you procure this prostitute? How can you be sure that this woman isn't under duress and is acting on her own free will?

Ask your friend if he wants this, it should be his choice to go down the route of hiring a sex worker not yours.

And please for the love of god don't bring your social baggage and standard of badges of honour in terms of relationships and sex into the mix.

LegacyUser

Honestly, I think you should do it. Your friend sounds like the kind of guy who's just never going to have a woman, whether through his own fault or not.

Do it and give him a good night to remember. The confidence boost might be the catalyst he needs to change his life

gercoral

were you watching big bang theory?! didn;t this happen?

bad idea anyways for a whole host of reasons that have more or less been mentioned above

njs030

gercoral wrote: »

were you watching big bang theory?! didn;t this happen?

Yes and they were immediately caught out.

Op have you thought about what happens afterwards? As others have said he will probably want to see her again, the rejection could make him feel worse or question if she doesnt want to be seen in public with him.
You could make the whole situation worse!!

RyanDrive

The suggestions have been tried many times - the man just repulses women and it really gets him down.