Easing the transition to creche at 18 mo

madeinamerica

Hi

My son will be starting in a creche just after he turns 18 months. He'll go four days a week (T-F). He's been at home up until now with his Dad. He has a very regular routine at home and is not used to being around lots of new people or kids as we live abroad and just have a few friends with kids. I'm looking for tips or advice for making his transition easier. I don't have many people to ask advice where I live as most babies go into creche at like 6-8 weeks (or are at home full time), and I feel like an 18 mo is a different kettle of fish.

A couple of points of concern are:
-He still has two naps a day while the creche only has one afternoon nap time. We are thinking of trying to delay his morning nap in the week before he starts so he might be ready, but should we just leave him to change it there?

-He gets very upset anytime I leave him. It would suit us a little better for me to drop him off, but I'm concerned it will just make things worse for him and so might be better for Dad to drop him off (he gets kisses goodbye, no tears!). Does it make things worse?

I'm sure he'll be fine but just would like to hear other experiences. Any other info is welcome!

thanks

MiA

LegacyUser

Hi, I am in a similar position. I didn't go back to work after I had my son, he's now 22 months old and I am looking for a job. I found a creche and we discussed the settling period. My son has never been minded by anyone else than myself or my husband (we have no family/relatives where we live and can't afford a babysitter) so he's incredibly clingy to me. The creche recommended the longest settling period possible. Basically as soon I get a job offer I can start bringing him to the creche. Initially I will go and spend an hour there with him and then gradually over the next few days I can leave the room when he is happy enough and leave him for 15-30 min. After that I can drop him for an hour or 2, let him get use to having his snack over there, then stretching to lunch, and then to nap. I am hoping to be given 3-4 weeks notice to be able to implement this! The creche staff is lovely, they were really reassuring, they said that it's harder for the parents and that usually children adapt fairly quickly.

I also saw your other post regarding your son's language. My son doesn't have many words either and I had him checked with the PHN when he was 20 months old and she didn't have any concerns as he understands everything (in 2 languages as we are a bilingual family). But she made me realise that I don't stimulate him enough. I have 2 other boys and life at home is very busy for me As I am mostly on my own (husband travels a lot for work and no family support). Basically our toddler communicates with us by pointing when he wants something and bringing us books/toys to play with us. We automatically give him what he wants, so he doesn't "need" to talk. The PHN made me realise that. So now I have stopped making it "easy" for him. If he comes to me with his empty cup, I tell him "do you want milk? This is milk. I am filling your cup with milk and you are going to drink milk" whereas before I would just fill it up and give it to him. We have already seen some improvements :-) Best of luck!

Julo12

Don't have any insightful wisdom I'm afraid as both my started at about 1. My first did start later tho and I think she found it slightly harder as she was more aware of being left. That's probably not overly helpful but just to let you know it is normal for them to cry when you're leaving but they really are fine after 5 mins. My eldest is almost 4 now and yesterday wanted to know why she couldn't go to crèche 😳
At 18 months he'll understand so much so I'd make sure to say things like mummy and daddy will be back later. You're going to have lots of fun with your new friends and mummy and daddy will be back to collect you and go home and have lots of fun. I found it helped at the start even to say the night before tomorrow is a crèche day so you're going to go and have fun with X (teacher) then mummy and daddy will get you and we'll have lots of fun at home.. Just try assure him as much as you can. It's a big change for them to be dropped off somewhere but it's just about getting used to a routine and before you know it you'll be jealous at them running in the door!

madeinamerica

THanks very much for your replies! And reassurances.

This week we started bringing him for an hour in the morning just to get him settled in. His Dad brought him so far and stayed with him. He was cautious at first but started playing after a few minutes.

madeinamerica

Same here wrote: »

I also saw your other post regarding your son's language. My son doesn't have many words either and I had him checked with the PHN when he was 20 months old and she didn't have any concerns as he understands everything (in 2 languages as we are a bilingual family). But she made me realise that I don't stimulate him enough. I have 2 other boys and life at home is very busy for me As I am mostly on my own (husband travels a lot for work and no family support). Basically our toddler communicates with us by pointing when he wants something and bringing us books/toys to play with us. We automatically give him what he wants, so he doesn't "need" to talk. The PHN made me realise that. So now I have stopped making it "easy" for him. If he comes to me with his empty cup, I tell him "do you want milk? This is milk. I am filling your cup with milk and you are going to drink milk" whereas before I would just fill it up and give it to him. We have already seen some improvements :-) Best of luck!

Thanks for the advice about his language. I think we also have this issue, he can understand almost everything and is very good at pointing and bringing things to us so most times we know what he wants and he doesn't really need to talk! I'm hoping that in the creche he'll have more of a need to talk to get what he wants as the teachers won't understand what his gestures mean.

madeinamerica

Julo12 wrote: »

before you know it you'll be jealous at them running in the door!

I will be crying myself at this! :rolleyes: