Problem, need advice.

LegacyUser

At the weekend, my girlfriend said she loved me. When she said it I stalled for a minute, a bit taken a back and unsure of what to say. After a moment, she said "so...?" and I just blurted out "I love you too!". It was a mixture of panic of not knowing what to say without hurting her and just plain awkwardness. My problem? I don't love her, not yet. Of course I like her a lot but we've only been going out a few months. Those words I always considered significant and now I feel like a fraud for saying it. The other day she rang me and said it towards the end and I didn't say anything back because I'd feel even worse if I did. I know people will probably tear into me for being so stupid and messing her around but I honestly really like her and wouldn't wish any harm on her. I'm just not comfortable exchanging I love you's with someone I simply don't love yet. It doesn't feel right at all and I feel awful for saying it to her without meaning it.

What can I say if she says it again? Tell her the truth? Somehow stall by saying something that's kind of similar until I do love her? I don't know. It's probably not a major issue but I know she's the type of person who wouldn't say it unless she meant it so I don't want to upset her. (I think I should note that we were friends for a couple of years before we got together and in that time I know she liked me for a good period of that time before I was interested in her so those feelings were probably building for a lot longer that mine for her were. I suppose I haven't had as much time to see her in that way as she's had for me.)

Keane2baMused

Ick.

Your only option here is to sit her down and be honest. Apologise to her for saying it when you dont feel it (yet) and hopefully she won't be too hurt. Chances are it will cut though so don't be surprised if she's angry/ upset with you.

beks101

Do you think you have the ability to fall in love with her at some stage?

HiGlo

Yeah, as beks says, can you see yourself falling for her? Or do you just not see her in that way at all.

I think if you can see potential and think you just need some more time then maybe just go with it for the moment but use the term VERY sparingly... Only if you really have to.
If you aren't sure if you will ever feel like that about her (or know for sure you don't see her in that way) then maybe consider walking away now before more damage is caused...

bp

I was in your shoes, said it back and then took it back and have since married him (great man!).

It depends on you and her, only you know what to do and how she will feel.