Resource teacher causing son upset

Call me Al

My eldest (9) has 2+ hours a week resource for help with his dyspraxia this past year. He does work on fine and gross motor skills with one teacher, as well as work on his English and sequencing with another.
The latter of these teachers is a mature teacher and is well established in her role. She has an excellent reputation and one of our other children has had her for Ji without incident.
But our eldest dreads going to see her. He says she's aways cross with him, and I think her tone, which can be quite brusque, is very matter-of-fact. It's sucking the life out of him and I think what stresses him is that even something good that he might do is not, to his eye, praised or encouraged. Rather she just says carry on as you are. He sat at the kitchen table the last day crying after he came out from school and it just broke my heart. He loves school and I've never ever had a bad report about him or his behaviour. He has always showed enthusiasm to get stuck in with most stuff and is very much a glass half full person so this is totally out of character for him. But he still needs positive acknowledgment and always works for praise.

We have talked at the PTM about him probably not needing resource help in the school, despite the official allocation, and im actually considering opening that conversation with the resource team after Easter with a view to maybe seeing where we are up to with that. Anything to encourage him that there's light at the end of the tunnel.
I was wondering if anyone here might have any other suggestions on how to approach this?

strawberrie

I don't feel that giving up your child's allocated hours is the best option. The one to one help may not be as easy to get back in the future.
It's great to hear that you feel he is coping well academically but taking away the support may see him slip back. They can always progress further thru academic programmes if his motor skills and sequencing are so improved.
I would suggest meeting with this particular teacher again to outline your concerns about your child. It is affecting him a lot and you are right to address it. If you talk in terms of how your child is feeling and the changes seen in his behaviour the mature teacher you described will be on board with helping him out and may also have some insights for you into what is going on in school

byhookorbycrook

What are his priority Learning targets? Is it possible that he doesn't like the work more than it being a teacher personality clash ?

heldel00

Whatever you do don't give up resource hours. That's crazy talk. People out there would give their right eye for hours.
Have personal experience of this. Children have come to me and have found it difficult to adapt to my way of teaching. By this I mean they are coming from a quiet, softly spoken teacher to me who is a thundering lunatic! Ah no I jest but my way is just different, as is every teacher. Children find this hard to get used to.
You obviously know, from your post, that this teacher is not intentionally worrying your child. I would advise you speak to the class teacher and Resource teacher and maybe suggest them taking a slight break from "intense" work and he can bring a buddy to his lessons. Not for a doss session but maybe for some work related to his needs that two people can work on. This will ease him back into it and teacher knows to come at it from a different angle for him as well.
Thank god there is no teacher out there who spends their time intentionally trying to worry a child otherwise they would have been found out a lot earlier in their career.

Call me Al

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

What are his priority Learning targets? Is it possible that he doesn't like the work more than it being a teacher personality clash ?

No he is fine with the work. It's just her approach to him.

Call me Al

heldel00 wrote: »

Whatever you do don't give up resource hours. That's crazy talk. People out there would give their right eye for hours.
Have personal experience of this. Children have come to me and have found it difficult to adapt to my way of teaching. By this I mean they are coming from a quiet, softly spoken teacher to me who is a thundering lunatic! Ah no I jest but my way is just different, as is every teacher. Children find this hard to get used to.
You obviously know, from your post, that this teacher is not intentionally worrying your child. I would advise you speak to the class teacher and Resource teacher and maybe suggest them taking a slight break from "intense" work and he can bring a buddy to his lessons. Not for a doss session but maybe for some work related to his needs that two people can work on. This will ease him back into it and teacher knows to come at it from a different angle for him as well.
Thank god there is no teacher out there who spends their time intentionally trying to worry a child otherwise they would have been found out a lot earlier in their career.

He already does go out with a buddy. This other child may or may not have hours (I never thought to ask the mum, who I know well, but he does have a diagnosis of adhd with dyspraxic tendencies but not proper dyspraxia iykwim). But my lad told me that she doesn't get stern with the friend, only my lad. So then I wonder if he's forgetful or disorganised when he comes to her and she's just trying to get him to take responsibility for his own stuff and organisation. (I find myself that I need to be quite strict with him to keep him on track but he deserves to have the good acknowledged too).

My thoughts regarding pulling back from resource was largely prompted by the resource teacher. It was this specific teacher's opinion that he would eventually manage perfectly fine in class without this help. Academically he is very strong, and is holding his own amongst a very high achieving bunch of kids. But it can, and does, all fall apart on the days that his focus isn't where it should be (and he does get distracted very easily!)

Call me Al

strawberrie wrote: »

I don't feel that giving up your child's allocated hours is the best option. The one to one help may not be as easy to get back in the future.
It's great to hear that you feel he is coping well academically but taking away the support may see him slip back. They can always progress further thru academic programmes if his motor skills and sequencing are so improved.
I would suggest meeting with this particular teacher again to outline your concerns about your child. It is affecting him a lot and you are right to address it. If you talk in terms of how your child is feeling and the changes seen in his behaviour the mature teacher you described will be on board with helping him out and may also have some insights for you into what is going on in school

Yes I've had a long think about this. Maybe I need to investigate further what is going on with him when he's turning up for her class. I know he came home with a bag of words last month and then went looking for them a few weeks back. He got upset when he couldn't find them and said he was going to be in trouble. I didn't pay any heed as I thought he might've been exaggerating slightly. But maybe I need to see how his doing with her.