Lonley weekends

LegacyUser

I'm a 25 year old woman living abroad. I'm struggling with loneliness which I know is a common problem among my generation. I have absolutely no emotional intimacy in my life. Now I'm not looking for solutions on how to fix this, I know them all and I try lots (I'm a member of several clubs, I go to meet-ups, I invite people places, contact family and old friends regularly, date etc.) and while I now feel I have a community I don't really feel close to anyone. That's fine, I get that these things take time. My problem is the weekends. During the week I'm very busy but on the weekends I don't think it's an understatement to say the loneliness is crushing.

I finish early on Fridays so I've been home for 5 hours already and I just feel like sh*t. Like most weekends I've managed to arrange one thing to do that involves other people tomorrow niht and will probably attend humanist "church" on Sunday but I'll spend the rest of the time stuck in my own head thinking about how unloved I am(and how much love I feel I have to give) and how much I wish I just had someone who really knew me. I try an do things in the city too but often that just makes me sadder, seeing lovely things but having no one to share the memories with. I find it hard to meet up with new friends at the weekend as they all seem to always already have plans, and obviously money is an issue. I do enjoy my own company generally but it's been like this for almost 3 years now (I've moved each year;twice last year in fact). I know I can't "cure" this overnight but how do I deal with weekends alone?

Ryan Mac Sweeney

Hi there
I have read your post. I am so sorry to hear about your loneliess at weekends. Are you dating anyone? If youre single my advice to you would be to join some dating agencies and find out about any matchmaking festvials in your area. You could also go to single bars and maybe take up exercise or maybe do some voulantry work is another great way to meet new people.

LegacyUser

<SNIP>
Ive been there and the answer is being who you really are. Like to connect with people and have that closeness means accepting yourself, flaws and all and allowing other people to see the real, complete you. Not trying to hide things about yourself or adopt a persona. Can you say that your thoughts, words and actions are all in line? And are you living in accordance with your real self, as in, are you doing the things you love, following your passions. What changed things for me was being willing to let my guard down around people, not trying to be or portray myself in a way that wasnt real. And following my heart, like really only doing the things I loved, my passions. Being adventurous aswell, trying things that I had an inclination that Id like. For example, I had the idea that Id like to play baseball. No idea why, but it appealed to me, so after much inner debate, I set about joining a team and it was amazing. Its 100% me and Ive made real friends through that, theres a feeling of connection, we are a team. And thats all because I followed my heart, had I stopped and questioned that decision, allowed my head to take over, I never wouldve done it. But my heart knew something my head didnt. So be brave, follow your heart, let your guard down and let people see who you really are.

Rubberchikken

if you're an animal lover, is there an animal shelter looking for volunteers to walk their dogs?
i know we all wait for the weekend sometimes but when it comes it can seem like everyone else has plans/meetups and hours spent at home can drag.
getting out is the best answer, even a good long fast walk can clear the head.
think about what you're interested in and then see where to go from ther.
good luck

Rubberchikken

if you're an animal lover, is there an animal shelter looking for volunteers to walk their dogs?
i know we all wait for the weekend sometimes but when it comes it can seem like everyone else has plans/meetups and hours spent at home can drag.
getting out is the best answer, even a good long fast walk can clear the head.
think about what you're interested in and then see where to go from ther.
good luck

zoobizoo

Find activities to do with other people.

I was the same with you at that age. I found a sport (aged 33) and that opened up a whole new social life for me.

I spent a couple of years abroad and my Friday nights were spent in front of the tv (the work crowd weren't into going out) and Saturdays were spent at the gym in the morning and then on my own til Monday morning.

I would advise to do some courses where you will interact with people - now that I think about it, I did a Spanish course when I lived abroad and met some really lovely people on it.... ended up house sharing with one of them and heading on weekend breaks to Spain with a few of the others.

There you go! Do that