2 year old won't eat....

CiboC

And I mean won't eat at all....!!!

This is our third boy and we are really bashing our heads against the wall with this one!

He just will not eat - I mean days will go by where he seems to eat nothing - he might have a nibble of a bit of toast, a bit of cereal, maybe a biscuit, but really very very little.

He drinks loads (LOADS!!) of milk. That's all he wants. We have tried all the tricks we know, all the tricks that worked on his more pliable older brothers, but nothing seems to work. He (doesn't) eats at the same time as all of us, is served the same food but most times he will look at it for the whole meal and maybe touch it once, maybe have a nibble, but nothing you could describe as eating well.

If you find something he does eat (it happens sometimes) you could give him the same thing again the next day and he won't touch it.

On the other hand, he is a fine chubby 2 year old (not sure how??). Plenty of energy. laughs and plays. doesn't seem to bother him.

I always took the attitude that he'll eat when he's hungry, leave him at it. As our third child we are pretty laid back about most things..:), but I really thought he would have broken by now...?

I would feel a bit better if we could just get him to eat a bit more...!

newbie2

Stop giving him loads of milk. It's full of fat and is making him feel full IMO.

Cut the milk back to morning and evening before bed if you want. He'll soon get hungry and eat his dinner.

Yes he'll whinge, but I can't imagine it'll last too long.

How Strange

Yes def cut the milk out or limit it to a very small amount once or twice a day. He's not going to be hungry if he can drink milk all day.

CiboC

Yep, we know that is the way alright, and have tried it - he screams like a banshee and still doesn't eat....!!!

I know we just have to persevere with that until he gives in but it's hard to see him getting so worked up and we were hoping there might be an easier way that we have not thought of yet....!

CiboC

Yep, we know that is the way alright, and have tried it - he screams like a banshee and still doesn't eat....!!!

I know we just have to persevere with that until he gives in but it's hard to see him getting so worked up and we were hoping there might be an easier way that we have not thought of yet....!

CaraMay

My fella is a very bad eater I think due to the fact he had reflux and it used to hurt him to eat. He was referred to the hse 'eating' team and one misunderstanding they corrected for everyone is that eating is not a primal instinct.

People say starve him and he will eat but it doesn't work that way. It's not like breathing etc He obviously needs some external help at this stage so get onto your phn or gp for a referral. People will say 'ah it's grand he can live on milk' but he's clearly missing out on other nutrients etc but moreover the social aspect of eating.

JustShon

I find milk fills me up even as an adult. If I'm short of food for lunch I have a big glass of milk and it fills me.

Have you tried foods that involve milk? Porridge / Ready brek, heavy on the milk might go down well. Very creamy mash might work too.

If those do work you can mix fruits into the porridge and other veg into the mash to get him used to them, slowly broaden the little guy's pallet.

anismi

My nearly 3 year old is the same. Pasta or small bit of bread if we're lucky. She WON'T drink milk and is still on two bottles of formula, just to get some nutrients into her. (I know its bad, but desperate measures) She is also my 3rd, and I have tried all the tricks. Have had her at the doc more than once, and they say she's doing fine... Good weight, healthy etc. But its such a battle, all day, everyday! I absolutely hate meal times! Just wanted to let you know, that you're not alone in your battles!

dori_dormer

I also think you should chat to your phn or gp about the situation. Friends of mine who live abroad had a similar issue. Their boy would only eat dry food ( no sauces etc) and only if the colour was yellow/ white. So chips, potato, plain pasta, bread. They were given a kind of vitamin drink for him to have twice a day as he would eat zero fruit or veg. It was a sensory issue that he has grown out of a fair bit now at 8, I think they also had meetings and guidance from a food / behavioural specialist every 3-6 months to see how he was progressing , and offer new ideas to try.
He was the first child so they were very stressed about it all. I'd definitly try and get professional advice as suddenly stopping the milk, could further damage his relationship with food in his mind.
There is a book called ' my child won't eat' that's very good, it also talks about removing stress from mealtimes etc. but I don't know if it would have a definitive solution to the situation you are in

dori_dormer

I also think you should chat to your phn or gp about the situation. Friends of mine who live abroad had a similar issue. Their boy would only eat dry food ( no sauces etc) and only if the colour was yellow/ white. So chips, potato, plain pasta, bread. They were given a kind of vitamin drink for him to have twice a day as he would eat zero fruit or veg. It was a sensory issue that he has grown out of a fair bit now at 8, I think they also had meetings and guidance from a food / behavioural specialist every 3-6 months to see how he was progressing , and offer new ideas to try.
He was the first child so they were very stressed about it all. I'd definitly try and get professional advice as suddenly stopping the milk, could further damage his relationship with food in his mind.
There is a book called ' my child won't eat' that's very good, it also talks about removing stress from mealtimes etc. but I don't know if it would have a definitive solution to the situation you are in

pwurple

Could you try watering down the milk? Or only giving it to him after mealtimes?

Milk is so filling, and I think there is a condition called Milk Anemia, where children just drink milk and become generally malnourished from it.

I said I'd never do this myself, but my youngest has refused meat and eggs now for about two months, so I'm sneakily getting iron and protein into her by doing 'pancakes' (which she loves) which are basically pancake-shaped omelettes. two eggs beaten with 1 teaspoon of flour.

Pizza was a good one for my eldest. She would eat anything in pizza form. Our pizza was a tortilla wrap, with passata and grated cheese on top, and she would then choose what veg or meat to stick on it.

celligraphy

Does he really really like milk ? I rember my cousins were young with the same problem so their mother started giving them a glass of milk to dip their chips and food into , sounds disgusting but it got them to eat , you 'll just have to show him first and leave him copy

bp

celligraphy wrote: »

Does he really really like milk ? I rember my cousins were young with the same problem so their mother started giving them a glass of milk to dip their chips and food into , sounds disgusting but it got them to eat , you 'll just have to show him first and leave him copy

God I love dipping things in milk....cannot admit that publicly for obvious reasons!!!!

Try water the milk down or milk based smoothies (?) Maybe

CiboC

Thanks for all the replies!

JustShon wrote: »

Have you tried foods that involve milk? Porridge / Ready brek, heavy on the milk might go down well. Very creamy mash might work too.

His two brother have a big bowl of porridge every morning before going to school, have tried to get the youngest to take it but only intermittent success!

anismi wrote: »

Just wanted to let you know, that you're not alone in your battles!

Thanks! good to know we are not the only ones being defeated by a willful toddler!

dori_dormer wrote: »

I also think you should chat to your phn or gp about the situation.

Had a chat with our GP today while we were there with one of the others. She had a look at him and reckons it's just a case of the force being strong with this one. He has an incredibly stubborn streak (I don't know where he gets it but I'm blaming his mother..:)), and our GP suggests going cold turkey with milk morning and evening only.

celligraphy wrote: »

Does he really really like milk ? I rember my cousins were young with the same problem so their mother started giving them a glass of milk to dip their chips and food into , sounds disgusting but it got them to eat , you 'll just have to show him first and leave him copy

We tried giving him milk with meals already and all that happens is he drinks the milk and ignores everything else!

We are scheduling Saturday for going cold turkey, may the force be with us!

CaraMay

Don't listen to the gp as they know nothing about practical nutrition

How Strange

Read the book my child won't eat. It's very informative for parents of children with small appetites or who are picky or fussy.

You definitely need to cut the milk out and put up with the ensuing tantrums. Then see what his appetite is like. He could just have a small appetite and not need a lot of food.

I really recommend that book though. I think it should be given to every mother when her child is starting solids.

Keane2baMused

Many many children go through this phase so try not worry. Give him whatever he will eat but perhaps try and cut back on the milk if you can as it will naturally fill him up. Do get a referral to a dietician if things don't start to improve soon.

Also I would suggest you leave out meals for him consistently whether you think he will eat them or not. Leave them on the table or somewhere easy for him to reach and say nothing. He may well go for the plate and nibble a bit and the next time go back for more. Stick to finger food for now that is easy for him to pick up.

Roselm

CiboC wrote: »

Yep, we know that is the way alright, and have tried it - he screams like a banshee and still doesn't eat....!!!

I know we just have to persevere with that until he gives in but it's hard to see him getting so worked up and we were hoping there might be an easier way that we have not thought of yet....!

Have you tried giving other milky things eg porridge, rice pudding, soggy cereal, custard. It might work as a stepping stone to new textures at least.
Some kids have sensitivities to certain sensations. Are there other non food things he avoids/is drawn to eg scared of loud noises, disliking /loving the feel of eg sand, velvet etc

Edit, sorry I see other people have said most of what I've said above.

I think one thing they do to get kids more interested in food is get them involved in preparation.
Maybe get toy plastic knife and some soft/easily cut things like cheese, bread, fruit, biscuits that he can chop up. Pop some bits in your mouth from time to time but I wouldn't put any pressure on him to eat. I'd keep it different to a mealtime-think fun not formal. Maybe even do it in a different room to the one you eat in.

evolving_doors

We had the same... maybe a few ideas.

Gradually water down the milk. I think dairy products will slow down the digestive system (watch the cheese/yoghurt consumption too!). Fruit is your friend... get them to help you making small smoothies (you can sneak in carrots too as they're sweet enough!). Basic recipe.. strawberries/apples/oranges then mix with some yoghurt. You can go for the tasty stuff first (ice cream) and gradually change the recipe to make it healthier.

Also, go lighter on the pre-bedtime 'snack' if there is one. We we feeding the child up in the hope of getting a full nights sleep!. This spilled over into the morning when getting the child to eat breakfast when not hungry just pushed all the 'food' control issues forward, then this ended up in having different eating times to everyone else. Once you separate eating habits from the 'herd' then trouble starts.

Now is the time to encourage the child into being an active participant in the making of food. Let them bake something .... even if you quickly swap it with something when you take it out of the oven they get a buzz out of it. The messier they get the better (it's about you relinquishing control too!).

Also get a bit of soil and plant some pees/strawberries/potatoes (now is the time to get the garden/pots ready). Our kid still wont touch frozen peas but has no qualms about scoffing all the peas/strawberries whilst sitting in the garden. (Lidl have Kelvdon Wonder peas on offer now, they're an easy to grow strain).

Make your own burgers (freeze surplus if required). 1LB Mince/breadcrumbs/ 4 sausages (remove the skin)... and here's the best bit.. grate a full carrot in.
Similarly make your own sausage rolls as you can grate a tonne of carrot into the sausage mix.

It's still pure psychological warfare though.
Never ask "Do you want x?"
ask
"Would you like x or y?"
This gives them a sense of control, these fussy eaters are very good at the mind games and can sniff out if your trying to trick them.

Oh yeah: sea air too, distract them for hours throwing stones and building castles then they'll eat anything after.

LegacyUser

Mine isn't the worst eater (at 19 months), but one thing I've always done is try to ignore her when she's picking and messing. (even when my blood is boiling - it's hard)

The more you want them to do it, the less likely they are to do it. I've found if I just turn back to my own meal, keep eating and pay no attention, she's more likely to start picking up her own spoon and putting bits in herself. Toddlers don't like to be seen to back down

Defo cut down on milk. Cut down the quantity in the bottles/cups for starters (so only give a third of a cup not a half or full or whatever) then start watering down.

Also - out into the fresh air with him!! Run the legs off him. Generally I find doing that works wonders, they come in so hungry they haven't time to think about what they're eating.

It's absolutely painful though and we're only on our first....

pwurple

Gebgbegb wrote: »

. Fruit is your friend... get them to help you making small smoothies (you can sneak in carrots too as they're sweet enough!). Basic recipe.. strawberries/apples/oranges then mix with some yoghurt. You can go for the tasty stuff first (ice cream) and gradually change the recipe to make it healthier.

Rest of this post is awesome, defo tire them out and make them hungry. And including them in cooking and growing is brill, we do that too... But smoothies are a disaster for children's teeth, just like juices... i'd give that bit a skip.

Toots

My niece is like this, will literally eat nothing except bread and butter, but will drink milk. My mother in law minds her during the day, and a few times a week mixes an egg into the milk and heats it up to make a really really really milky custard. My niece has no idea and just thinks it's a cup of warm milk.

Zynks

Be careful so he won't turn food into his 'drama', used to get your attention. If that happens the problem could last for years. We allowed that to happen with our eldest (I will give myself some of the blame for not stamping out the 'oh, if you don't like this we'll do something else'). He spent years on a diet of cereal, milk, chicken breast and rice.

With the second I made a big effort to remove any possible drama. At the time he was two we got him to eat plenty fruit in the morning, he is still mad about melon and he was also stimulated to try all kinds off stuff, from smoked ham to seafood pasta. He is 10 now, a total gourmet who loves to make his own smoothies, toasted sandwiches, fruits, vegetables and tries lots of new things.

The eldest? 16 and still doing his dramas, with a very limited diet (no fruit or veg) and looking way too skinny compared to the good eater.

PS> two winners here: carrot sticks and broccoli with a bit of butter and a bit of water (a couple of dessert spoons) microwaved for about three or four minutes, leaving it a bit crunchy.