Bathroom attendants being homophobic

TaiHusky

I'm posting this because I had a pretty ****ty night after some horrible things being said to me. But its been a while in the making, because this is not the first time I've experienced something like this.

I was in The Living Room over the weekend for a 21st. It was a great night up until this happened. The bathroom attendant had marked one of the two cubicles as out of order and was only letting people who tipped in. So I threw him some change on the way out after my first use. Later when I went to use the bathroom, I was queuing for one of the cubicles. I never use urinals, its just an anxiety thing. He was letting people into both. Some drunk asshole in the meantime was saying some dickheaded things over my hair or something and just being a homophobe. No one batted an eyelid and the attendant bloody joked with him. I'm not even very obvious. I wear black clothes and have relatively long hair and some piercings/tattoos. I just ignored it.

So a guy comes out of the cubicle marked out of order, then he closes the door and when I ask if I can use it, he just points to the sing and smirks. So then I wait for the other one to free up. As the guy is coming out, the attendant puts out his arm to block me, and signals the guy who was saying **** to me to go ahead. I blew my lid at this point. I told him he was being outright homophobic, and he turns to me, points down the hall and says "the disabled toilet is down there". I have never been so fcuking angry in my life. My friends and I tried to tell the security, but they all just dismissed us as though we were drunk fools.

Thing is, this is not the first time a bathroom attendant in a non-lgbt club has pulled this ****. They use gay men as some sort of subject matter for jokes in order to get tips out of the other bathroom users. It is so humiliating and frustrating because NO ONE listens to your complaints. Clubs are for EVERYONE. Having homophobic staff is just insane after such a progressive year for lgbt people. Stuff like this really reminds you that you just wont ever fit in in certain places. I'm writing a formal complaint to the club. I hope the prick gets sacked.

Ten of Swords

Toilet attendant sounds like a bit of a dick but did he actually say or do anything homophobic to you?

It reads to me like you were already pissed off from receiving abuse from another patron and vented on the toilet attendant when he let this person go ahead (presumably because they tipped, or he knew them). It was wrong for him to sarcastically direct you to the disabled toilet and it's unfortunate that this other guy was picking on you but are you sure your anger is not slightly misdirected here?

When you complained to security did you single out the toilet attendant or the other guy? What, if anything, was their reaction (apart from generally dismissive?)

Mr.Frame

TaiHusky wrote: »

I'm posting this because I had a pretty ****ty night after some horrible things being said to me. But its been a while in the making, because this is not the first time I've experienced something like this.

I was in The Living Room over the weekend for a 21st. It was a great night up until this happened. The bathroom attendant had marked one of the two cubicles as out of order and was only letting people who tipped in. So I threw him some change on the way out after my first use. Later when I went to use the bathroom, I was queuing for one of the cubicles. I never use urinals, its just an anxiety thing. He was letting people into both. Some drunk asshole in the meantime was saying some dickheaded things over my hair or something and just being a homophobe. No one batted an eyelid and the attendant bloody joked with him. I'm not even very obvious. I wear black clothes and have relatively long hair and some piercings/tattoos. I just ignored it.

So a guy comes out of the cubicle marked out of order, then he closes the door and when I ask if I can use it, he just points to the sing and smirks. So then I wait for the other one to free up. As the guy is coming out, the attendant puts out his arm to block me, and signals the guy who was saying **** to me to go ahead. I blew my lid at this point. I told him he was being outright homophobic, and he turns to me, points down the hall and says "the disabled toilet is down there". I have never been so fcuking angry in my life. My friends and I tried to tell the security, but they all just dismissed us as though we were drunk fools.

Thing is, this is not the first time a bathroom attendant in a non-lgbt club has pulled this ****. They use gay men as some sort of subject matter for jokes in order to get tips out of the other bathroom users. It is so humiliating and frustrating because NO ONE listens to your complaints. Clubs are for EVERYONE. Having homophobic staff is just insane after such a progressive year for lgbt people. Stuff like this really reminds you that you just wont ever fit in in certain places. I'm writing a formal complaint to the club. I hope the prick gets sacked.

Disgraceful behaviour by all accounts.
I would not let this go . Make a formal complaint and say you want a positive outcome from what happened.
Again do not let this go , you may get a reply back with a half hearted apology, threaten you will take legal action or /go to the media.
This type of homophobia MUST be stamped out once and for all .
I wish you well

lifeandtimes

Ill let you know now as I'm aware of what this trick is...the people are not tipping the attendent to jump the queue and use the toilet in this bar,they are using the toilet to use drugs and paying the attendant for the previlage and to keep shtum,I have first hand experience of this in this bar.

Sounds like he tool a disliking to your attitude about being picked on and wasn't about to let you in when the guy who was picking on you was probably going to take something and pays him

Taco Chips

Is the attendant even allowed to block you from using the stall if you haven't left a tip? I don't think thats on at all.

TaiHusky

Ten of Swords wrote: »

Toilet attendant sounds like a bit of a dick but did he actually say or do anything homophobic to you?

He agreed with the guy hurling insults and said I had the hair of a "poof" and a "swishy". I could not even get the attention of the security when I went to complain about it.

TaiHusky

Mr.Frame wrote: »

Disgraceful behaviour by all accounts.
I would not let this go . Make a formal complaint and say you want a positive outcome from what happened.
Again do not let this go , you may get a reply back with a half hearted apology, threaten you will take legal action or /go to the media.
This type of homophobia MUST be stamped out once and for all .
I wish you well

I wrote an email with my mom. She works in human resources so knew how to keep it level headed. Theres no way were letting up. Its something that my friends and I have put up with countless times.

TaiHusky

lifeandtimes wrote: »

Ill let you know now as I'm aware of what this trick is...the people are not tipping the attendent to jump the queue and use the toilet in this bar,they are using the toilet to use drugs and paying the attendant for the previlage and to keep shtum,I have first hand experience of this in this bar.

Sounds like he tool a disliking to your attitude about being picked on and wasn't about to let you in when the guy who was picking on you was probably going to take something and pays him

I had a feeling it was that. One of the guys was signalling to him and gesturing snorting coke or something. He got to skip the queue too. However, the attendant was still homophobic. So thats two things he should be exposed for.

endacl

TaiHusky wrote: »

I wrote an email with my mom. She works in human resources so knew how to keep it level headed. Theres no way were letting up. Its something that my friends and I have put up with countless times.

If it happens again, look the prick straight in the eye, smile, and say "You work in a toilet. Literally. In a toilet". Then shake your head and walk away, laughing to yourself.

Best advice when encountering toilet attendants is to pretend they're not there. Ignore them entirely. And that craic with the 'out of order' cubicle? If you see it's in use, use it. You don't need the jacksdweller's permission.

Ash885

Facebook. Social Media. Twitter. They're you're key to use when talking about this. Clubs like that rely on heavy promoting online to get students to fill their clubs.

So if you have a complaint about staff in this manner, I'd go that route. I've seen this before with hostels, clubs, pubs and diners. Managers are on to it pronto.

endacl

TaiHusky wrote: »

I had a feeling it was that. One of the guys was signalling to him and gesturing snorting coke or something. He got to skip the queue too. However, the attendant was still homophobic. So thats two things he should be exposed for.

If that craic is going on, make sure to use that cubicle. Also make sure to pi55 on every flat snortable surface. Give the attendant something to attend to.

Ten of Swords

TaiHusky wrote: »

He agreed with the guy hurling insults and said I had the hair of a "poof" and a "swishy".

That's pretty sickening behaviour alright. Let us know if you get a reply and if it's satisfactory or not.

Try not to let what he said get to you.

TaiHusky

endacl wrote: »

If it happens again, look the prick straight in the eye, smile, and say "You work in a toilet. Literally. In a toilet". Then shake your head and walk away, laughing to yourself.

Best advice when encountering toilet attendants is to pretend they're not there. Ignore them entirely. And that craic with the 'out of order' cubicle? If you see it's in use, use it. You don't need the jacksdweller's permission.

Honestly, I ignore them nearly every time and just get in and get out. But this guy was getting up in my business. Still fuming

triple nipple

Op do you work in eir by any chance?

endacl

TaiHusky wrote: »

Honestly, I ignore them nearly every time and just get in and get out. But this guy was getting up in my business. Still fuming

He works in a TOILET!

Annasopra

triple nipple wrote: »

Op do you work in eir by any chance?

What?

wakka12

He's just an attendant, he's not allowed to block people from using toilets. I would have kicked up an almighty fuss and probably gotten kicked out of the club, but I would just not have let that go down quietly no matter what. Blood boiling stuff