Others attitude towards sexuality

LegacyUser

I don't know if I'm looking to vent or looking for advice. Apologies for the length!

I'm bisexual. Or rather, I don't notice the gender of the person that I fall for. I don't have any preference in terms of gender - I fall entirely for the person. I am 100% happy with my sexuality and comfortable with it.

I am not out to my family. They wouldn't disapprove, but I am very private when it comes to my private life. I don't shout it from the rooftops if I have a date with a guy, so I don't shout it from the rooftops if I have a date with a girl.

I'm out to a few of my friends - my close ones anyway. They have zero issue with it - I'm still the same person inside that I always was. Nothing has changed in relation to my sexuality when I'm around any of them. I even play sports with some of them and there's never any awkwardness getting changed etc around them. It's all just friendship and the way that it should be.

I'm kinda seeing a girl at the moment. We've been on a few dates and it's progressing well.

I'm friendly with my work colleagues, and last week, one of my colleagues saw me out with this girl. The next day in work - in private - she asked who she was, and I said that it was someone I was dating. She asked some questions about my sexuality, and said that she was happy for me and whatnot. Happy days.

However! We have an upcoming work event in a different county. It has been a long standing event, and we have gone for the past few years. Work pays for our hotels, and we would sometime stay an extra night to enjoy the nightlife of a different variety. In the past I have shared with this girl and we have had no issues whatsoever, however since she learned that I also like girls, she is wanting to have a hotel room for herself - i.e. she doesn't want to run the risk of sharing a room with me. At least that's how it seems.

I don't know whether I'm being paranoid, but I don't feel it's something that I can bring up with her. I guess I'm just looking for advice as to how to proceed really.

Glitter

I wouldn't see it as her not wanting to 'risk' sharing a room with you, as in, she's afraid you'll try to drop the hand.
But, she may see you as being in the same mental 'box' now as a male friend-colleague who she wouldn't spend the night alone in a hotel room with either.

I wouldn't judge her harshly for that. Especially as was supportive of you re the girl you're seeing.

Personally, I wouldn't spend a night in a hotel room with ANY work colleague.

Rekop dog

If she's not comfortable with sharing a room with you you're going to have to accept it. It's probably coming from a slightly ignorant/prejudicial place on her part but dont be that person who questions her motives and watches her try squirm an excuse.

Could also be plenty of unrelated reasons why she might want the room to herself this time, so I'd forget about it, just do you and don't overly worry about other people's opinion of you.

frostyjacks

I think most people would be uncomfortable sharing a room with someone of the same sex who may be sexually attracted to them. Don't raise the issue, it'll make you look paranoid and presumptuous.

LegacyUser

Do not agree with frosty jacks at all. I stayed in the same bed as a gay women for 3 weeks as work made a mistake booking rooms away for us.
This is how it went:
I knew she was a lesbian and fancied women. She knew I was straight and fancied men. She did not try anything on with me. I was not offended.
This whole mentality of just because you are a lesbian you will attack any women in a 50 foot radius is ridiculous. I'm straight and I don't fancy every man I come into contact with,even if I had to share a bed with them.
However OP, I would leave it. It might be a personal preference for her and might not have mattered if you were bi/gay/straight. On the other hand maybe she does think you will fancy her? If that is the case I personally think you are better off enjoying that room all to yourself

intheclouds

Meh, she knows you are dating someone and anyone with half a brain should be intelligent enough to realise that just because someone likes girls that doesnt mean they like ALL girls!! So I doubt she is afraid you will come onto her (if that was her thought process itd be very ignorant tbh).

However, I agree that she may have you in a mental box whereby now she feels it inappropriate that you see her changing etc, the same way she might feel that way if you were male.

Regardless it is her issue and I wouldnt worry about it. Id never share a hotel room with a work colleague at all no matter what gender or sexuality they were. Better to stay professional.