Lads night out code/etiquette

Boardz Fiend

I know there are far more serious issues in the world but I'm curious to hear how most lads would react to situation below -

Two good mates who have not caught up in many months are out on the beer. 5 or 6 hours of chatting and drinking passes. Then, 20 mins before closing time, one of them begins chatting to a girl & pulls her. Other lad is (and continues to be) extremely pissed off at his mate for pulling.
Do you think its bad form to pull when out with just one mate?
Or do you think fair play, at least he's getting some?

nerobert

Bad form, I wouldn't call them a mate if they do that, if there's a few of yous in the pub then it's ok

mynameis905

I don't think it's bad from, particularly as you mentioned that it was only a few minutes until closing time anyway.

fergus1001

Don't get caught bajananging your mates wife would be a fairly good one

frostyjacks

Fair play to him, I'd say. Other guy almost sounds jealous.

MaryAntoinette

Typical men getting the horn after a few beers.

eeguy

Sound like he's jealous.

Fair enough if it was 20 mins into the night, but they probably had their coats on to head home at that stage.

Pat Mustard

Boardz Fiend wrote: »

Then, 20 mins before closing time, one of them begins chatting to a girl & pulls her. Other lad is (and continues to be) extremely pissed off at his mate for pulling.

If two guys head out for pints and one guy wanders off, leaving the other on his own for a significant portion of the night, that may deserve an explanation and possibly an apology, depending on the circumstances. If it became a habit, it would be annoying.

If it's 20 minutes before closing time, it may not put the other guy out by much. So it might be reasonable to let it go.

IvoryTower

If it was 20 minutes into the night I'd still say fair play to him

Atlantic Dawn

So many variables really, if it was the local or somewhere that the other guy could easily get home from I don't see the issue, their chat was long enough. I especially think if the guy giving out has a partner that he should be happy for the friend finding a girl, ride, whatever...

johnnyskeleton

Boardz Fiend wrote: »

Other lad is (and continues to be) extremely pissed off at his mate for pulling.

Do you think its bad form to pull when out with just one mate?

It can be annoying if youre only out with one person and they "ghost" at the end of the night - leaving you unsure if theyre coming back/need a lift/alive/dead.

So at worst the only thing wrong he did was leave without saying so. Annoying, but hardly something to hold against someone.

Then we factor in that if he was probably drunk, both near enough to going home time and possibly found the love of his life (but probably not) is serious mitigating circumstances. Kinda hard to say goodbye if youre mid flow chatting someone up.

To be honest if i was out with just one mate who got chatting to a girl id hang around nonchalantly until i finish my pint. Maybe he gets shot down, maybe she has a pal that wants a chat, maybe its his long lost sister. Give him 5 mins. At the end of my pint if they are still chattig and im bored id leave. I wouldnt mind leaving in those circumstances.

On the other side of things - what are you supposed to do? If you get chatting to an attractive stranger you cant slip off and say "sorry, i just have to say goodbye to my friend".

A bit of common sense is required. These things happen all the time in the pub. If someone cant handle it happening, they should look to their own feelings and think about that. Or perhaps go to non-drink related social engagements

endacl

MaryAntoinette wrote: »

Typical men getting the horn after a few beers.

No. Disapproval fail there Mary. Typical man is before, during and after. Not just after.

Boardz Fiend

MaryAntoinette wrote: »

Typical men getting the horn after a few beers.

Read OP again.. there was also a WOMAN in this equation who was "horny after a few beers" :-)

lazybones32

If I'm not going to meet him again for a long time, I'd probably be a bit cheesed that a hoe comes before a bro. But if she was a stunner...

johnnyskeleton

lazybones32 wrote: »

I'd probably be a bit cheesed that a hoe comes before a bro.

I hate that phrase. I mean, putting your friends first is great, and that means if one meets a nice young lady you support them and are happy for them, even if it cuts your night short or you dont get to share a taxi with them.

In this scenario, the guy is asserting "myself before bros" it seems.

mansize

lazybones32 wrote: »

If I'm not going to meet him again for a long time, I'd probably be a bit cheesed that a hoe comes before a bro. But if she was a stunner...

do you live in HIMYM land???

Wibbs

I had to google that *old* Yep when I hear "bros before hoes" and it's not meant jokingly, it's up there with "no homo", "do you even lift" and such like in my pantheon of daft notions.

As for the OP's question? Given it was the end of the night then I see no harm in it at all. If I was the other guy I'd be egging on my mate TBH. Now if it was right at the start, or a regular thing where someone sodded off on the pull I'd not be best pleased, but otherwise…

lazybones32

johnnyskeleton wrote: »

I hate that phrase. I mean, putting your friends first is great, and that means if one meets a nice young lady you support them and are happy for them, even if it cuts your night short or you dont get to share a taxi with them.

In this scenario, the guy is asserting "myself before bros" it seems.

Yeah...because casual sex is something that is so rare, it must be seized at every opportunity.

mansize wrote: »

do you live in HIMYM land???

No, Ireland.

timmy880

Virtual high five and say well done (ok not the virtual part...) but with 20 mins left until close it's only pure jealousy if you have a hissy fit in that situation....

VisibleGorilla

This situation has come up a few times for me, I've been on both sides.

Being the guy left there I'd feel a bit of envy but nothing more, I would never be pissed off at the guy.

Depending on the time of night you'd have a few options, try find someone yourself, their friend, call other friends, solo drinks, food then home, etc..

Getting annoyed over this would be very childish in my view.

bucketybuck

You've been chatting to your friend for 6 hours, how clingy do you have to be to get upset that after 6 hours he talked to somebody else? Thats not a friendship, thats a dsyfunctional relationship.

um7y1h83ge06nx

I'd say fair play, the night was almost over and many hours of a catch-up were had.

I'm being on both sides of that before and it's all part and parcel of being single and out with one of the lads I think.

waffleman

Ffs some lads are worse than women gettin the hump

In this situation

Pulling > 1 more pint with yer mate

Just send a text to yer pal to let him know what happened asap

If he's huffin in any way the next day he needs te have a word wi himself

endacl

Boardz Fiend wrote: »

Read OP again.. there was also a WOMAN in this equation who was "horny after a few beers" :-)

Surely not?!?

While we're chucking silly stereotypes around, 'fruit based drink for the lady'...

Elemonator

Jealousy maybe. But the fact of the matter is that he was left alone, when he wanted to hang with his mate and sacrificed his time for it. Other mate subscribed to it too. With him going off, there's only him there "third wheeling". If there was others there, I wouldn't care.

Bad form.

johnnysmack

They had been chatting for the last 5/6 hours, why on earth would the friend get annoyed when its nearly closing time! I would head off to the chipper and leave the two of them to it.

mansize

johnnysmack wrote: »

They had been chatting for the last 5/6 hours, why on earth would the friend get annoyed when its nearly closing time! I would head off to the chipper and leave the two of them to it.

though he had a chance???

johnnyskeleton

lazybones32 wrote: »

Yeah...because casual sex is something that is so rare, it must be seized at every opportunity.

Well if I was in the pub and 20 minutes before close my friend said "right, im hungry so Im off to McDonalds" or "im tired and want to get the last bus" Id have a similar reaction. Id say fair enough, do what suits yourself. The idea that if you go to the pub with your friend, and excepting the "my da just died"/"im getting divorce" type meeting up, if the friend wants to leave (or I want to leave) for any reason I dont think its a big deal.

PTH2009

i have a mate who gets off with his female companions (not a friendly kiss really gets stuck in) when were all out

i dont feel comfortable around him when he does this stuff and its so juvenile

lazybones32

johnnyskeleton wrote: »

Well if I was in the pub and 20 minutes before close my friend said "right, im hungry so Im off to McDonalds" or "im tired and want to get the last bus" Id have a similar reaction. Id say fair enough, do what suits yourself. The idea that if you go to the pub with your friend, and excepting the "my da just died"/"im getting divorce" type meeting up, if the friend wants to leave (or I want to leave) for any reason I dont think its a big deal.

Yeah....the scenario wasn't just any old night down the pub with a pal you meet regularly: "Two good mates who have not caught up in many months are out on the beer" (OP). I added that if I wasn't going to see that good friend again for another few months, yeah, I'd be cheesed that I was given second preference to a bit of pussy - unless she was a stunner.
I place a higher importance on friendship over casual sex and this is seen as bad?

Wibbs

lazybones32 wrote: »

I place a higher importance on friendship over casual sex and this is seen as bad?

So might I, but not at the end of a night of catching up. It would be another entry in our friendship memory bank. "Jaysus, remember the night you pulled, ya dirty fecker? Oh sorry, you're the new wife? *awkward*".

Earlier today I was racking my brains to think if this had ever happened in my life and twice came to what passes for my mind. The first I was the guy who hooked up and TBH I was a selfish prick that night. It was early enough and the chap was left adrift. Because I tended to bounce from person to person or group to group and will talk to the wall it didn't even register with me at the time that he'd be on his own. Yep Pricktown. Population. Mayor. Chief Prick. Me. The other time, I was the guy who didn't hook up and my mate did. Now she's a woman - yes I can be that right on folks, you read it here first - but I dunno if that makes any diff. We had met for a night of beer and setting the world to rights and she got the beady eye from a bloke in the smoking section about an hour before closing and I was all for it.

Greenmachine

Bunch of single lads on the pull, chances are none will pull, or 1 or 2 might.
In my experience you are more likely to pull if you are out for a quiet drink, without any other motives. I would have pulled more often like that than when the objective was to pull. Only one of my mates has ever got pissed, when I pulled when just the two of were out.

Girl latched onto me when he went to the toilet. I was just being polite chatting with her by the time he came back. He pulled me aside, and told me he wasn't impressed nothing had really happened yet. She asked if he was my mate. He had already left at this stage. I just told her "something had come up for him". So she said I may as well spend the rest of the night with her. Gas, thing is the mate, was what most girls would consider very handsome. He would normally only have to look at a girl, and she would swoon at him.

Shoe on the other foot, and he couldn't bear it. I would rather go home on my tod, that limit someone from enjoying their night out. No need to be tied at the hip, with a mate.

whiskeyman

Fair play to him.
I was out with 2 of my mates this way and both pulled on the night... and are now married to those girls!

the_syco

Boardz Fiend wrote: »

Then, 20 mins before closing time, one of them begins chatting to a girl & pulls her. Other lad is (and continues to be) extremely pissed off at his mate for pulling.

Once the lad who pulls lets his mate know the score, grand; all it takes is a quick text. But if he says to his mate "I'm going to the jacks, back in a mo", and never returns, that's bad form.

ongarboy

Repeating others comments here but seriously OP, if your mate left you 20 minutes earlier than when you'd be going your separate ways anyway then I cannot see why it's such a big deal for you. Presumably you had your proper catch up chat and reunion for the previous few hours so I fail to see the problem. Fair enough if he ditched you much earlier on. Also, being a single, available, red blooded guy, I'm sure it was the most natural thing to do to seize an opportunity to score when it presented itself at that hour of the night. Who knows, you could be attending their wedding next year!! :-)

I'm assuming you are the offended party here as I doubt you'd be this concerned on behalf of a third party but I think you need to lighten up a little. Perhaps a little jealousy is seeping through?

beertons

Ah lads. There was 20 minutes left to the night. Fair play to him.

PaddyWilliams

Think this is being over thought. Often been out with one mate and they've pulled and left me. I'd do the same thing and fair play to them