Son has stopped sleeping through...

trixychic

So our 2nd son will be 4 yrs old in April. His big brother is 7. We had both of them sleeping through the night once they were about 1 yr old. (After I stopped feeding myself). But ds has stopped sleeping through and its driving us nuts.

I don't even remember when it happened but it just did happen gradually over the last year. He goes to bed and sleeps no bothers. But then he is waking up between 10 and 12 and its a nightmare trying to get him back down.

The other thing is he's a bit ocd with his blankets. He has a "blankey" which must be folded a certain way on his pillow so he can sleep on it, then he still has his toddler duvet followed by his single duvet. If they aren't put on properly he freaks out. If he kicks them off (on purpose ot by accident) we have to fix them.

It's driving us bonkers. I have been going through a tough year myself which hasn't helped but I'm at my wits end. Some nights he wanders into our bed without me realising and I only wake up when he starts kicking me in his sleep.

His big brother never did any of this and sleeps like a log all through the night. (Thankfully as they share a room but the antics never wake his brother).

Has anyone experienced this??? Any tips in what to do??? Do we revert to the "make sure they have everything at first then let them cry it out"? Really at a loss here. At this age his brother was going down at 8pm then wouldn't wake til 10 or 11 next morning.


Edited to add: I'm on a mobile so spelling is not great. And sorry for the length of this post.

Neyite

Mod:

Hi Trixy, Boards don't allow acronyms like DS so I've edited your post.

Penny Dreadful

trixychic wrote: »

So our 2nd son will be 4 yrs old in April. His big brother is 7. We had both of them sleeping through the night once they were about 1 yr old. (After I stopped feeding myself). But ds has stopped sleeping through and its driving us nuts.

I don't even remember when it happened but it just did happen gradually over the last year. He goes to bed and sleeps no bothers. But then he is waking up between 10 and 12 and its a nightmare trying to get him back down.

The other thing is he's a bit ocd with his blankets. He has a "blankey" which must be folded a certain way on his pillow so he can sleep on it, then he still has his toddler duvet followed by his single duvet. If they aren't put on properly he freaks out. If he kicks them off (on purpose ot by accident) we have to fix them.

It's driving us bonkers. I have been going through a tough year myself which hasn't helped but I'm at my wits end. Some nights he wanders into our bed without me realising and I only wake up when he starts kicking me in his sleep.

His big brother never did any of this and sleeps like a log all through the night. (Thankfully as they share a room but the antics never wake his brother).

Has anyone experienced this??? Any tips in what to do??? Do we revert to the "make sure they have everything at first then let them cry it out"? Really at a loss here. At this age his brother was going down at 8pm then wouldn't wake til 10 or 11 next morning.


Edited to add: I'm on a mobile so spelling is not great. And sorry for the length of this post.

Is it your 4 year old son that has stopped sleeping? Has there been a big change or event in his life over this time? I ask because my husband's niece (granted she was never ever a good sleeper) who is 4 (will be 5 at the end of February) has regressed with her sleeping habits since she started school in June.
In my heart and soul I think she was too young to start school last September, she isn't the most mature 4 year old and while it would be ok for some it can be too soon for others.
Anyway while she is happy to go to school and has made friends and all that stuff the teacher has commented on how overly shy she is in school and has suggested some after school activities like Speech and Drama for her that might help in the confidence department. My SIL has ignored this advice and now the child, on the odd occasion she actually does sleep through the night (and even then that is her going to bed around 9pm and getting up at 05:30) she wets the bed.
The only big change in her life is school and it coincided with the change in sleeping and bed wetting.
Perhaps something like that is at play with your son? Have you had a chat with him about life and whats going on in his, it could shed some light on matters for you.

trixychic

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

Is it your 4 year old son that has stopped sleeping? Has there been a big change or event in his life over this time? I ask because my husband's niece (granted she was never ever a good sleeper) who is 4 (will be 5 at the end of February) has regressed with her sleeping habits since she started school in June.
In my heart and soul I think she was too young to start school last September, she isn't the most mature 4 year old and while it would be ok for some it can be too soon for others.
Anyway while she is happy to go to school and has made friends and all that stuff the teacher has commented on how overly shy she is in school and has suggested some after school activities like Speech and Drama for her that might help in the confidence department. My SIL has ignored this advice and now the child, on the odd occasion she actually does sleep through the night (and even then that is her going to bed around 9pm and getting up at 05:30) she wets the bed.
The only big change in her life is school and it coincided with the change in sleeping and bed wetting.
Perhaps something like that is at play with your son? Have you had a chat with him about life and whats going on in his, it could shed some light on matters for you.

Yes it's the 3 (nearly 4) yr old. I wonder now you say it. He started playschool in Sept. Now he is only 2 morning's a wk for 3hrs each day. But he hasn't taken to it as well as his big bro did. Once he is there he is fine and lives it. He has lots of friends and comes out with stories galore. But he doesn't like going in first thing in the morning.

I've asked him why. In the morning's he says its because school is boring. In the afternoon he says he was only joking and he lives school.

What could we do about this??? He was going to rubgy... until the weather got too cold. He don't do the cold!!!!! Confidence is definitely not an issue with him.

dori_dormer

I found when my son started creche also he had a couple of nights restless sleep. Then again after 3 weeks off at xmas it took him a week to settle again. He's quite a confident child and never doesn't want to go in though.

I know our creche suggested 3 or more days in a row, or about 20 hours or more a week. Now not everyone follows this but we did. I think it helps that he's not missing out on loads of things that happen, and he has a chance to properly bond with all the kids and teachers.

I'd say it may be aform of stress or adjustment from school, to home to school. There may even simply be one thing or child he doesn't get along with. It could be small and simple.

I certainly wouldn't recommend cry it out as that will just add more stress to him and you at night.

Does he give any reason for waking? Ending the bathroom, thirsty, bad dream?

Also children can pick up their parents stress no matter how hard we try to hide it, and it subsequently stresses them out.

trixychic

dori_dormer wrote: »

I found when my son started creche also he had a couple of nights restless sleep. Then again after 3 weeks off at xmas it took him a week to settle again. He's quite a confident child and never doesn't want to go in though.

I know our creche suggested 3 or more days in a row, or about 20 hours or more a week. Now not everyone follows this but we did. I think it helps that he's not missing out on loads of things that happen, and he has a chance to properly bond with all the kids and teachers.

I'd say it may be aform of stress or adjustment from school, to home to school. There may even simply be one thing or child he doesn't get along with. It could be small and simple.

I certainly wouldn't recommend cry it out as that will just add more stress to him and you at night.

Does he give any reason for waking? Ending the bathroom, thirsty, bad dream?

Also children can pick up their parents stress no matter how hard we try to hide it, and it subsequently stresses them out.

I am worried my stress has rubbed off of them. Without meaning to.

He seems to wake for water and then his blankets to be fixed. To be honest if I could get him to sort out his blankets himself I think we'd have half the battle fought.

I just spoke to him there and he does seem generally happy and content. He's a very mischievous little lad so I'm afraid he could just be playing me like a fiddle. It's so hard to know. My heart breaks every time he cries. But I'm trying to not be too soft.

dori_dormer

Being so young I doubt he'd even be able to recognise stress or stress triggers as an emotion yet but would def be able to feel it obviously.

How new is the blanket situation? My boy is only 2 but the desire for your boy to have his blankets perfect signifies stress to me, but it could be an age thing I'm not aware of.

Also comign into you at night could be his way of coping. Making sure you are there near him as his parents are the safest place he can be.

trixychic

dori_dormer wrote: »

Being so young I doubt he'd even be able to recognise stress or stress triggers as an emotion yet but would def be able to feel it obviously.

How new is the blanket situation? My boy is only 2 but the desire for your boy to have his blankets perfect signifies stress to me, but it could be an age thing I'm not aware of.

Also comign into you at night could be his way of coping. Making sure you are there near him as his parents are the safest place he can be.

This blanket is the same one he had over him as a baby. It is one of those mausoleum blankets. It now gets folded up and put on his pillow. I'm not sure what could be stressing him out so much though.

I do know all about stress. I have long term depression and generalised anxiety disorder. So he hasn't licked it off a stone. I just hope I can teach him to deal better then I was taught.

trixychic

I'm just wondering if we have spoilt him. And maybe this is just him being too demanding.

dori_dormer

I don't think he sounds spoilt. Not by what you said if that's the only thing. I personally don't believe you can really spoil young children.
I think maybe you have been spoilt by children who sleep through the night at a young age lol! Many children don't until they are 5/6/7

I think the best thing you can do is respond to his needs. And try and figure out what he's really asking for when he needs you to fix blankets, and wants comfort in your bed.

Maybe he musts wants to see you? To know you and everyone else is ok?

Perhaps you could think about a few play therapy sessions if you are worried he is stressed? They might be able to determine a trigger.

trixychic

dori_dormer wrote: »

I don't think he sounds spoilt. Not by what you said if that's the only thing. I personally don't believe you can really spoil young children.
I think maybe you have been spoilt by children who sleep through the night at a young age lol! Many children don't until they are 5/6/7

I think the best thing you can do is respond to his needs. And try and figure out what he's really asking for when he needs you to fix blankets, and wants comfort in your bed.

Maybe he musts wants to see you? To know you and everyone else is ok?

Perhaps you could think about a few play therapy sessions if you are worried he is stressed? They might be able to determine a trigger.

You are absolutely spot on. We certainly were spoilt with the first lad. When I was pregnant with the second lad our first son was going down at 8pm and sleeping straight through til 11 or 12 the next morning. He was 3 at the time. Ha ha ha that was spoiling us alright. I might look into the play therapy though. Thanks

Mink

Our lad is 3.5 and WAS a brilliant sleeper and spoiled us.

Past couple months he's difficult to get to bed, then he's up in the night, creeps into us like a ninja. I wouldn't mind if he got in the bed and slept but he just kinda ends up being awake for 2-3hrs on bad nights.

To get him to stay in bed at the beginning of the night I tell him (rightly or wrongly) that if he gets out of the bed again I will lock the door - I've never had to.

When he's up in the wee hours I'll go sleep on mattress in his room (so at least my husband or I will get some sleep). If he starts acting the eejit I tell him I will leave the room and lock the door. He settles down and will drop off eventually.

trixychic

Last night he wouldn't go down at first. So my other half lay on the bed in our room and little man fell straight off. I don't know if it was cause he knew he couldn't get away with much when dad was in the next room or if he felt safer with him there.

Got appointment with gp for next wk. Gonna go talk to her then.