too scared to 'adult'

gercoral

hmm, not sure if its the right forum but anyways.
hopefully it won't go on too long.

trouble is, i think i'm too scared to adult. I'm 26, single, in a job that has offered me promotion in the past but i was too naive and scared to take and now is relatively a dead end job that doesn't exactly require much brain power (it's a petrol station)
been here for last 6 years, and in the last year, 4 people who were probably my closest colleagues and who started before me have moved on to pastures new. whereas i don't know what to do with myself.

i know I'm supposed to be mature and a fully functioning adult, but i feel like I just want someone to tell me what to do. I'm stuck in a rut. I have done a bit of travelling in the past. Thought I wanted to do more. Not sure now..but dunno if its out of fear or what. Don;t wanna go back to college though I definitely need something to challenge me mentally. And I need to move out of home. But I don't know what order to do anything.

basically, I think I'm too comfortable where I am. pay is good, people are good, it's handy. I used to be ambitious, but I think I'm finding it difficult to rediscover that.

ugh. sorry for the long post. just needed to get it off my chest! i don't find it easy to open up to people! (face to face)

Minera

Hi op
I think you've answered your own question. Prioritise goal and go for it! You dont know where to start so go with the longest hardest one- the rest ahould fall into place after. You say 4 friends have moved to different jobs, thats what is causing your unrest and dissatisfaction with yourself. Try keep in touch with your friends as good ones can be hard come by.

gline

gercoral wrote: »

basically, I think I'm too comfortable where I am.

Make it more uncomfortable. You need to sit down and make some plans. Even if you just start with some small changes. Once you have changed 1 or 2 things you should get more confidence and find some passion in life again. It just sounds like your in a bit of a rut right now, which needs to be broken.

NomadicGray

Are you actually unhappy with your lot or do you just think you're supposed to be looking for more?

gercoral

NomadicGray wrote: »

Are you actually unhappy with your lot or do you just think you're supposed to be looking for more?

I don't know how I'm feeling to be honest. I'm not unhappy where I am persay, but I think I should be doing something else..I did a 4 yr degree in college but in an industry that is not really for me.

I think in a way I am possibly wasting myself where I am, though I'm not unhappy as such, but I think I should be doing something else/more worthwhile..
In a bit of a rut for sure

Ursus Horribilis

Have you ever heard of Inertia? There's a description of it here which will give you an idea http://daringtolivefully.com/overcome-inertia

You obviously aren't 100% happy with where you are, otherwise you'd not have started this thread. Working in that petrol station suits you down to the ground for now but a day might come when it becomes an issue. What if the personnel in the job change and you're stuck with a manager who's a pain in the neck and colleagues who aren't as nice as the ones you had. Would it be true to say that you're comfortable with the job and the wages because you're living at home and are sheltered from the everyday expenses that the rest of us face? Do you have any plans at all for the future? I'm thinking of something like buying a house, for example? Would the wage you're on be enough for you to secure a mortgage? Where do you see yourself living in 10 years time?

What you could do is make an appointment with a careers coach. See if you can transfer the skills you've learned from your degree and from your job into something you hadn't thought of. You don't have to take an action after that but maybe if you come away with ideas, it might change your mindset.

gercoral

I don't see myself there this time next year, that's for sure. I wouldn't call myself sheltered. I moved out of home at 17, went to Dublin for 4 years, travelled to Africa, South America, and a little around Europe and the States, so I wouldn't say I'm blind to the outside world. I do have expenses but not in terms of kids or mortgages or life assurance and the like. Sure, I don't have a mortgage, and it isn't my intention in the near future tbh. I'm not a career person, but more of a floater and I like to know a little about a lot of things, so I can never see myself tied down to any one thing.
For the job I do, I'm ashamed to say I earn more than nurses and doctors, so I think the wage is really whats keeping me there. Just trying to save enough to travel again, buy a new motor and of course move out of home, but in what order, I don't know.
Yeah I seriously considering doing an online course for maybe 6 months, and hopefully when thats done, I will have X amount saved for my next venture.
but yeah, a good swift kick up the arse is whats needed! :P

Ursus Horribilis

Or maybe you could just accept that that's the sort of person you are? Not everyone's cut out for 9-5 jobs, careers, mortgages etc.

Rhea Rose

gercoral wrote: »

I don't see myself there this time next year, that's for sure. I wouldn't call myself sheltered. I moved out of home at 17, went to Dublin for 4 years, travelled to Africa, South America, and a little around Europe and the States, so I wouldn't say I'm blind to the outside world. I do have expenses but not in terms of kids or mortgages or life assurance and the like. Sure, I don't have a mortgage, and it isn't my intention in the near future tbh. I'm not a career person, but more of a floater and I like to know a little about a lot of things, so I can never see myself tied down to any one thing.
For the job I do, I'm ashamed to say I earn more than nurses and doctors, so I think the wage is really whats keeping me there. Just trying to save enough to travel again, buy a new motor and of course move out of home, but in what order, I don't know.
Yeah I seriously considering doing an online course for maybe 6 months, and hopefully when thats done, I will have X amount saved for my next venture.
but yeah, a good swift kick up the arse is whats needed! :P

You know what? I wouldn't go jumping into a career just for the sake of it, not til you're sure that it's what you want. You just need to figure out what's most important to you right now. Is it the car? Is it moving out of your parents place? Or is it saving to go travelling again? If you're happy enough to work away for now and save money to go travelling again, then there's nothing wrong with that. If you plan on staying put and trying to get your own place here, then the career coaching isn't the worst idea. It might help you to put a plan in place. I know what that 'aimless' feeling is like and I personally can't stick it for too long, so I do understand.

But go easy on yourself. You sound like a pretty interesting person who's well-travelled and has a stable job. And you most definitely sound like an adult.

Lux23

I was the exact same at your age, although I didn't do any travelling so I hadn't really achieved much else in life other than a pretty useless Diploma in Journalism. I spent my early 20s in dead-end jobs - a warehouse job, reception and accounts assistant. I was happy to share a house with like-minded people and going out four nights a week and I had no ambition. Or at least I thought I didn't.

So in early 2008 at the age of 25, I started looking for jobs in bigger companies with better progression and I landed interviews with some of the financial places. I was offered a job as a Marketing Administrator with a bank although I had no experience in Marketing, the team who interviewed me just seemed to like me. Anyway I loved the job, I was scared and worried as it was very challenging to begin with, but I overcame each challenge and ended up working in the press office. Due to the downturn, I lost that job in 2010, spent 9 months on the dole and studying and I got another job with a PR agency. I lost that one in 2013, it was really tough role and the company folded about two months after I left. I spent 18 months studying and running my own bar and then in December 2014 I landed my current role which I love and I am hoping to get promotion in this job soon.

It seems to have worked out for me, but I really wish that I had copped on earlier and started thinking about a career. You're only 26 so you don't have a mortgage or kids right now but you may want these things in a few years and may find they aren't an option because you will never earn enough.

I will be 34 on my next birthday, I'm living in a tiny flat with my partner, we haven't a hope of getting a mortgage and would struggle to afford the rent on a bigger place. I think to myself all the time, why didn't I get my act together sooner! I didn't want the mortgage and kids at the time, but because of my short-sightedness, I have really limited my options for now.

You have eight years before you get to my age, you could achieve an awful lot in that amount of time so I think you should really consider planning your next move, whether it be progression in your current role or applying for something new.

cowboyBuilder

If you're making more money then doctors/nurses stay where you are and get some new hobbies.

Wesser

Just out of interest.... How much are you making?

I think if your not happy in this role then you need to move out of your comfort zone. The best way to do this is baby steps.... Small steps one at s time!