Ladies Opinion

Stealthfins

I'm a man of 40 my exe of a one year relationship is 48.
She sees nothing wrong with sharing beds with male friends when away on business,guy's in their 20's usually.

She also gets messages from guys frequently about hooking up and asking for naughty pics.

Or sometimes guy's text her late at night looking for fun,one night she didn't realize I was awake,she picked up her phone's,proceded to start a message.

Him: yo bitch what's up
Her: so are you coming up to electric picnic to play for the weekend,got you a spare ticket...?? ?

Him not sure yet,sounds good to me...

Me: I told her I could see the message "I'm wide awake couldn't help seeing the message"

Her: don't be silly he's only a friend,I know he has the hots for me,but he isn't my type....

Even at a house party he was trying to get her to join him at a wedding in Tipperary,she declined..

Me : you have access to 5 free tickets to electric picnic and you didn't even ask me did I want to go.....

Her: wouldn't really be your thing..

Anyway I think ye get the gist.

There was guy's texting her over the Christmas to hook up,she was brazen enough to tell me.

One married guy from Tipperary and two other guy's...

She was with the married guy before me,he was an engineer who used to work in the factory 500m from her house.

Inappropriate or am I too harsh to break up with her.

I never had access to her phone or e-mail,I was never nosey or intrusive..

Mars Bar

Mod

Hi OP

As the Ladies Lounge charter says

The Ladies Lounge is not a place for men to come and start threads requesting opinions on X, Y and Z from women. Women aren't of a single mind or opinion.

I believe that the Relationship Issues forum is more appropriate so I have moved it there. Please be aware that the RI forum charter is now in effect. Please read it thoroughly.

Mars Bar

Augme

She sounds incredibly insecure and immature. No idea if she's cheating but that doesn't matter, no way would I be sticking around to get concrete proof. I'd be gone in a flash.

Stealthfins

Ok there's two sides to every story,she knows I'm very independent and a strong character.

Being honest she was very good on the practical side,we worked well together and she always bought me nice shirts,boxers etc when ever she was away.

Every morning at hers she'd always make us a lovely healthy breakfast and I'd do the same at mine.

She was never tight with money and was really good to my son and to my mother when she was in hospital.

Nice to cuddle up to on cold nights or warm nights,we were very much into each other.

I can say she'd make the right guy very happy,but the other men thing was enough for me.

She didn't want us to be friends on Facebook either,but her exe's and old sexual partners were friends on Facebook.

Mourinho

Oh Jesus you were 100% right to run for the hills, do not for one second regret it.

People would see you as the biggest fool in the country to put up with that. Fair play for not putting up with it.

lelo100

You really did the right thing to end it with her.

Stealthfins

Thanks.
Yeah everyone says the same thing.

She's gone really bad over it,not eating right or sleeping properly.
I get pulled into it then and start to worry about her.

I think I'm the first guy to walk out like that,her last relationship was 6 before that and before that was 11 years.

She's very striking, 6"2 long red hair,figure like Naomi Campbell,34 inch legs...

I suppose I can see why guy's were always sniffing around...

Not her fault she has the look s etc

Stealthfins

Augme wrote:

She sounds incredibly insecure and immature. No idea if she's cheating but that doesn't matter, no way would I be sticking around to get concrete proof. I'd be gone in a flash.

Probably wasn't cheating,but loved the attention etc

lelo100

Stealthfins wrote: »

Thanks.
Yeah everyone says the same thing.

She's gone really bad over it,not eating right or sleeping properly.
I get pulled into it then and start to worry about her.

I think I'm the first guy to walk out like that,her last relationship was 6 before that and before that was 11 years.

She's very striking, 6"2 long red hair,figure like Naomi Campbell,34 inch legs...

I suppose I can see why guy's were always sniffing around...

Not her fault she has the look s etc

Looks aren't everything. It's important to feel secure in a relationship and to know where you stand. The way she was behaving would not be good for your confidence over time. Move on for the love of God

Stealthfins

lelo100 wrote:

Looks aren't everything. It's important to feel secure in a relationship and to know where you stand. The way she was behaving would not be good for your confidence over time. Move on for the love of God

Yeah my confidence was taking a few dents alright.

There's nothing worse than questioning one's self.

Sometimes I used to think the shirts and boxer shorts were like a guy coming back with flowers due to a guilty conscience.

She went away walking one time and was on about this dude who joined her walking,she was adamant on going away for a few days to herself on her own.

I wasn't really bothered everyone needs space I went surfing and fishing did my own thing,then she was flicking through the photos of her walking and some photo popped up of her with a random guy from India as a cosy selfie.....

He was some priest she happens to bump into but decided it would be good to take a selfie with him all cosy together.



But she never ever takes selfies with me,I asked her wtf ?

In a charming way said "he's only some stranger I met on the Beara peninsula,no big deal..

Get over yourself...

Shrap

Stealthfins wrote: »

Get over yourself...

Well she can take a turn at getting over herself this time OP. She's a big girl now and will just have to take her turn on the misery train, as we all do sometimes.

You've done the right thing by yourself to leave her, so stay gone and don't try and comfort her or support her or you'll be dragged back in.

Dial Hard

Maybe I'm missing something here, but if she's your ex, what exactly is the relationship issue?

If you need confirmation that you did the right thing, I think you already know that you did.

Shrap

Dial Hard wrote: »

Maybe I'm missing something here, but if she's your ex, what exactly is the relationship issue?

He questions whether he was too harsh to break up with her. He's doubting himself.

I think he did totally the right thing and probably should have done it sooner...

Ursus Horribilis

She sounds like the village bike to be honest. You're well rid. Most 48 year old women don't have men in their twenties sniffing around them unless they're in with a chance of some bedroom gymnastics.

Stealthfins

She's very manipulative,would make a great barrister.
Telling me it's ok to share beds with other men,and the only reason she stopped was because I didn't like it.

But she still didn't see what my problem was...

I think I was kinda worried about her on the misery train.

I'm a bit soft, obviously from my posting to reassure myself lol

I probably still love her,but I'm eating well and sleeping well too ....

I miss the good times I suppose.

Anyhow I can only look after myself

Ursus Horribilis

What you need to do next is cut contact with her. She clearly has plenty of men she can turn to for comfort. She'll be fine. Look after yourself.

Stealthfins

Yeah you're right,I have a thing about reassurance.
Probably in my nature.

I'm a bit of a softy when it comes to worrying about others and leave myself out.

Anyhow thanks for replying ðŸ˜႒

Voltex

Why in the name of God would you be with someone like this...she's a player and playing you like a mug. Kick her to the kerb dude before she hurts you badly..and make you look like a dick.

Emme

OP she might have a great figure and long red hair but she treated you like cr@p. Don't go back there. There are plenty more women out there.

rainbowtrout

Stealthfins wrote: »

Telling me it's ok to share beds with other men,and the only reason she stopped was because I didn't like it.

But she still didn't see what my problem was...

Ah here, she was in a relationship with you. It was in no way appropriate for her to be sharing beds with random men. The fact that she wouldn't stop doing this automatically and you had to pull her up on it says a lot. You're well rid, cut contact, she'll be fine.