Useful Self-Help Books for Female Problem drinkers

susan2k15

Hi ladies,

I've writing this thread with women in mind, as the only self-help books and resources I've looked at were geared towards women.

There is 3 books that I have found really helpful.

I never thought of myself as an alcoholic in the traditional sense, however, I often had a lot of anxiety before going out, which resulted in drinking more to deal with anxiety and low self-esteem, only to have even more anxiety and less self-esteem the morning after.

The most important advice I can give is that you don't need to label yourself - if you are concerned about your drinking, your moods or your behaviour and often think about how things would be different sans the drink then its probably time to consider becoming sober. This realisation can be a painful and gradual process - as it has been for me.

I am only at the beginning of my journey after years of worrying about myself and what others thought and allowing my self-destructive nature to overshadow who I can be without the influence of drink - the mental, emotional and physical strain of drink that has taken its toll on me.

I thought I would share what books and resources were so helpful in me realising (and finally accepting) my problem with drinking. I don't want to wait until it nearly kills me or until I lose my worldly possessions to make this transition - that's all that is left right now and I want to fight for that, I want to fight for myself and for my sanity if nothing else.

Anyways, I really really recommend these books:

Allen Carr - Easyway to control alcohol

Sarah Hepola - Blackout: Remembering the things I drank to forget

Ann Dowsett - Drink: The Intimate Relationship Between Women and Alcohol

Sarah Tuner, Lucy Rocca: The Sober Revolution: Calling Time on Wine O'Clock

I actually bought these all as ebooks. If you have a smart phone then you can download a KOBO or Kindle app onto your phone and buy it from there. I read them in the sitting room with no-one being any wiser.

I'd also recommend the following blogs:

http://www.hipsobriety.com/
http://www.lauramckowen.com/blog/
https://drunkydrunkgirl.wordpress.com/
http://soberisthenewrachelblack.blogspot.ie/

I'd also really, really recommend a podcast that you can listen on your phone when walking or in bed - https://soundcloud.com/thisishomepod

Also, forums on here. Boards was the first place I seeked advice and I am so grateful for those who took the time to be kind and offer advice on their experiences.

I understand that as much as you may resent alcohol in your life - that there is part of you that innately drives you to believe that maybe you can moderate or control it but in reality, if that was the case, then you probably wouldn't be reading this! I've went though phases of binging without giving a f*ck under the false notion of this is who I am, nothing will ever change to trying to moderate so I can still have "fun" to only invariably and always, winding up back to where I started.

So ya I really hope this helps someone out there.

Surrender and stay strong,
Susan

The Bishop Basher

susan2k15 wrote: »

Hi ladies, I've writing this thread with women in mind, as the only self-help books and resources I've looked at were geared towards women.

Hope you don't mind a bloke jumping in here but you raise a good point. I read my way through the first 6 months and almost all of the best books are written by women so naturally they come from that perspective..

That said, with some minor exceptions, the experiences I read about were no different to my own or those of other men that have shared their story with me and others so there's a lot to be gained by all in reading these books..

I'll add a couple if that's ok....

Drinking - A love story by Caroline Knapp
Dry by Augusten Burroughs
Eat Pray Love by Elisabeth Gilbert (Not so much about drink but the journey)
Bloody Mary - My story by Mary Coughlan

Also well worth watching Des Bishop's series, "under the influence" which can be found on you tube.

Apologies again for butting in !!

Cheers

susan2k15

Swanner wrote: »

Hope you don't mind a bloke jumping in here but you raise a good point. I read my way through the first 6 months and almost all of the best books are written by women so naturally they come from that perspective..

That said, with some minor exceptions, the experiences I read about were no different to my own or those of other men that have shared their story with me and others so there's a lot to be gained by all in reading these books..

I'll add a couple if that's ok....

Drinking - A love story by Caroline Knapp
Dry by Augusten Burroughs
Eat Pray Love by Elisabeth Gilbert (Not so much about drink but the journey)
Bloody Mary - My story by Mary Coughlan

Also well worth watching Des Bishop's series, "under the influence" which can be found on you tube.

Apologies again for butting in !!

Cheers

Hiya!

No worries, thank you for sharing! Doesn't matter if you're a lad or not, I just thought women would appreciate them more but its nice to hear that you were able to relate to them too!

Actually, Drinking - a Love Story by Caroline Knapp is next on my reading list!

Congratulations on being sober over 6 months! I am only off it since New Years and the hardest thing is that every single one of my friends drink - and love to drink so no one really who knows me actually gets it.

penovine

well done and thanks.. feeling the love and support here..

The Bishop Basher

susan2k15 wrote: »

I am only off it since New Years and the hardest thing is that every single one of my friends drink - and love to drink so no one really who knows me actually gets it.

Some of them will in time. Some of them may not ever.. I'm sure some of them got it straight away.

But at the end of the day, they don't have to wake up in your head feeling hungover, regretful, sick, tired, skint, anxious and all the other **** things that come with drink for so many of us. They may have it in their own heads but that's their choice.

I'm 10 months in and the people I want to come round have come round but it has taken some adjustments for them too. I'm often reminded that i'm not the same person I was and it's true i'm not. But the person I was wasn't ever really me so i guess both I and they just have to figure that out. That means not every relationship will survive but i'm finding that with a bit of effort from both sides, the important ones do

eamor

Hi- I've just started This Naked Mind by Annie Grace. I seen a few recommendations from different sources, and so far so good. I am doing dry january like many here, and I have to say I'm feeling really well. Its certainly made me question my relationship with alcohol

enoughalready

Hi all,

Another book I highly recommend is "Parched" by Heather King:

One woman's journey to the bottom of the bottle-and back again.

In this moving, emotionally charged, and unflinching look at alcoholism and its effects, lawyer and prominent National Public Radio writer and commentator Heather King describes her twenty-year-long descent into the depths of addiction with wit and candor. King went from a highly functioning alcoholic who managed to maintain her grip on reality to living in the lowest of dive bars, drinking around the clock and barely sustaining an existence. With help from the most unexpected source, King stopped her self-destructive spiral and changed her world for the better. This is the poignant, painfully honest, and inspirational true story of a woman who looked into the abyss, and was able to step back from the edge and reclaim her life on her own terms.

susan2k15

Swanner wrote: »

Some of them will in time. Some of them may not ever.. I'm sure some of them got it straight away.

But at the end of the day, they don't have to wake up in your head feeling hungover, regretful, sick, tired, skint, anxious and all the other **** things that come with drink for so many of us. They may have it in their own heads but that's their choice.

I'm 10 months in and the people I want to come round have come round but it has taken some adjustments for them too. I'm often reminded that i'm not the same person I was and it's true i'm not. But the person I was wasn't ever really me so i guess both I and they just have to figure that out. That means not every relationship will survive but i'm finding that with a bit of effort from both sides, the important ones do

Ya I've had some people be really understand, its just hard when I've built my whole alter ego around I love drink and having the craic and not giving a ****e to wait I need to stop because I don't like who I am inside, even if people like what they see on the outside.

Its so sad, and embarrassing to admit, but I use to look at moderate drinkers with pity, thinking they're uptight and can't have fun and let loose like me but I was in complete denial, stupid twisted login.... and then I resented those who could actually control it.

I never saw the point of drinking without getting pure ****faced until I messed up and felt sorry for myself.... such a horrible vicsous cycle.... I've had to rethink everything these past few months

Lady Mac

Hi Susan,

Love all of your suggestions. I lived on The Bubble Hour for the first few months. I still love it but as I've listened to nearly all of the podcasts I'm now on to Home which I'm finding great too. How did you come across it if you don't mind me asking?

I'm 29 and first started to acknowledge I had a problem with alcohol at 21 but I found it so hard to find stories of alcoholism that I could connect with. Very few people could recognise that I had a problem and I was often told I wasn't 'that bad'. .

I really feel that there is a missing link in Ireland when it comes to alcoholism. AA can just seem like too drastic of a step for a young person who is still in the earlier stages of alcoholism. I live in a small town and have my own business and just could not contemplate walking into a meeting. Yet when I searched (and believe me I searched) online over the years I could find no other way to connect with people. As most people who seek recovery know once the initial feeling of 'i'm doing this' wears off we slip back into old habits very quickly if we don't have the right support and community.

Thankfully I stumbled across a blog and the woman telling her story could have been telling mine. It was the first time I had come across somebody who had taken action before her life fell apart and I finally realised it was ok to want to stop doing this to myself. Through her blog I became part of a private Facebook group with hundreds of other women in the UK and America and they have been my community since then. I am now a little more open to attending AA but it still scares the crap out of me.

I read the following recovery books in this order in the last 8 months:

- The Sober Revolution (Sarah Turner and Lucy Rocca)
- Ice & A Slice (Della Galton)
- Sober Is The New Black (Rachel Black)
- Blackout (Sarah Hepola)

I read some more books that weren't directly related to recovery from alcoholism but were very helpful:

- The Gifts of Imperfection (Brene Brown)
- Carry on Warrior (Glennon Doyle Melton)
- Rising Strong (Brene Brown)

I've followed these blogs:

- Unpickled
- I Fly At Night
- Hip Sobriety (these last two are the creators of Home for anyone not familiar with it)

Thanks for your suggestions. I'm putting Allen Carr and Ann Dowsetts on the list to read next.

LM x

penovine

Lady Mac wrote: »

Hi Susan,

Love all of your suggestions. I lived on The Bubble Hour for the first few months. I still love it but as I've listened to nearly all of the podcasts I'm now on to Home which I'm finding great too. How did you come across it if you don't mind me asking?

I'm 29 and first started to acknowledge I had a problem with alcohol at 21 but I found it so hard to find stories of alcoholism that I could connect with. Very few people could recognise that I had a problem and I was often told I wasn't 'that bad'. .

I really feel that there is a missing link in Ireland when it comes to alcoholism. AA can just seem like too drastic of a step for a young person who is still in the earlier stages of alcoholism. I live in a small town and have my own business and just could not contemplate walking into a meeting. Yet when I searched (and believe me I searched) online over the years I could find no other way to connect with people. As most people who seek recovery know once the initial feeling of 'i'm doing this' wears off we slip back into old habits very quickly if we don't have the right support and community.

Thankfully I stumbled across a blog and the woman telling her story could have been telling mine. It was the first time I had come across somebody who had taken action before her life fell apart and I finally realised it was ok to want to stop doing this to myself. Through her blog I became part of a private Facebook group with hundreds of other women in the UK and America and they have been my community since then. I am now a little more open to attending AA but it still scares the crap out of me.

I read the following recovery books in this order in the last 8 months:

- The Sober Revolution (Sarah Turner and Lucy Rocca)
- Ice & A Slice (Della Galton)
- Sober Is The New Black (Rachel Black)
- Blackout (Sarah Hepola)

I read some more books that weren't directly related to recovery from alcoholism but were very helpful:

- The Gifts of Imperfection (Brene Brown)
- Carry on Warrior (Glennon Doyle Melton)
- Rising Strong (Brene Brown)

I've followed these blogs:

- Unpickled
- I Fly At Night
- Hip Sobriety (these last two are the creators of Home for anyone not familiar with it)

Thanks for your suggestions. I'm putting Allen Carr and Ann Dowsetts on the list to read next.

LM x

OMG I am so glad you posted... I checked out the bubble hour - its abs fantastic.. it sounds almost professional (i had been looking for podcasts but the best one i could get was recovery elevate and i was not mad about it).. but this is just great..
The podcasts are soooo informative.. and they have reputable authors and its up to date and inovative...

And thru the website I found the blog.. "mrs D" etc.. just great.. i think her reading list is really great.. i have to look into it more..

thanks so much ..

Stealthfins

Codependant no more by Melanie Beatty is a good book