Work/College Friendships

PLL

Do any of you have very good friendships with people in work that you didn't see much of during weekends or holidays but spend a lot of your time with at work and drinks during the week and would invite them to events.

Are these real or superficial friendships? Do they last?

I'm only young and have a friendship like this, I am very close to the girl, we really get on but she goes home at weekends and holidays and o don't really speak to her. At first it upset me, now I'm wondering if this is a typical friendship and the reason we don't make an effort outside of work ia because we see each other 5 days a week. If we didn't see each other so much do you think we would make an effort or would it fizzle out?

People with a bit more life experience than me, any thoughts?

kfallon

There's about 3 or 4 people I work with that I would class as really good friends. Often go drinking with them on a Friday and if I stopped working here today I would still keep in contact with.

Unfortunately we don't work in the same team anymore but I'd often call over for a chat or we'd IM each other.

King George VI

There's one girl and one lad that I work with that I've spent time with outside of work. Everyone else, while a good mate inside of work, they're nothing more than that.

Huntergonzo

I got on great with most of the people I met in college and working in my last job in particular (which was my 1st permanent job and I spent around 7 years doing it), we all seemed to get on brilliantly. But I have to admit I only keep in regular contact with 1 lad I met while working there and none I met in college, unless you see them regularly then for me at least most people tend to go their separate ways.

Sad in a way, but at least you have some great memories, no point feeling down about it.

M5

Mixed bag, I have several friends I used to work with 15 years ago but outside those few none of note

One eyed Jack

PLL wrote: »

Do any of you have very good friendships with people in work that you didn't see much of during weekends or holidays but spend a lot of your time with at work and drinks during the week and would invite them to events.

Are these real or superficial friendships? Do they last?

I'm only young and have a friendship like this, I am very close to the girl, we really get on but she goes home at weekends and holidays and o don't really speak to her. At first it upset me, now I'm wondering if this is a typical friendship and the reason we don't make an effort outside of work ia because we see each other 5 days a week. If we didn't see each other so much do you think we would make an effort or would it fizzle out?

People with a bit more life experience than me, any thoughts?

Depends on a number of factors really, like whether you both wanted to keep in touch, etc. I'm still friends with people I worked with 20 years ago, we keep in touch on the phone and with letters and postcards and stuff as I'm not on Facebook and I have no interest in it.

The people I work with now we're a small group and I get on great with them, we go out the odd time socially, but they wouldn't be like my best friends or anything as they're both ten years younger than I am, so there's the generation gap there, and we really don't share any interests apart from working together. I probably wouldn't keep in contact with them if I left tbh.

Green Giant

In a place where I used to work and which I absolutely loved, I would classify 4 people as friends with whom I would love to spend time now that I've departed the job. I know we will meet every few weeks (I've relocated since then, too), but the real test of whether it's a full-blown friendship will be whether or not that stays the same in 2 years' time.

I finished college 4 years ago and there are 2 people I met in UL who I would consider lasting friends, in that we still meet several times a year despite a lengthy geographical spread. There are others with whom I'd chat every now and again but categorising them as full-blown friends might be pushing it - not through any animosity, just the natural progression of our respective lives.

In short, there's a good chance that you'll remain friends with a select few workmates/college buddies after you leave the job or college.

thattequilagirl

Of a wide group of college mates, I made maybe six really good friends, of which I'm still in touch with two (graduated in 2009). I find work friendships fairly fickle, but have held on to a few over the years. I find friends you make through hobbies or your friends from home are the ones that stick.

Fat Christy

One of my best friends is a girl I used to work with.

I went through a really rough time when we worked together and I honestly don't know what I would have done without her. An absolute gem. I love her so much.

I have a few friends from college, lost contact with a good few. Kept in contact with all my friends from secondary school.

If you value the friendship, you'll put in the effort.

Lia_lia

I live with my boyfriend who was in my class in college, so we see each other everyday.

Wouldn't really have any other close friends from college that I see much. All the rest of my close friends from my class in college live abroad now. In work I only have one very close friend. We go for lunch on our days off and often go on nights out together. She also lives on the same road as me so that helps. One of my best friends is an old colleague of mine. We worked together 7 years ago and we are from the same town, so we still see each other quite frequently.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Most of my best friends are from college.
1 from school.
1 that I'm related to.

Work friends are good friends too but I mean I wouldn't sit on the toilet talking to my work friend in the bath, whereas I would do that with my friend from college so it's just different levels of closeness I guess

Sir Osis of Liver.

I try to keep it professional.
From my experience it can get messy.

I'm great friends with a good few people at work, they are my main group of friends in the city I work. Meet them during the week, at weekends, call to each other's houses even gone on weekends away etc. My other main group of friends are my friends from school who I still see very regularly. Haven't any friends from college at all (went to college with lots of my school friends and the group stuck together so didn't really make other friends).

PARlance

A good group from youth.
A good group from sport.
A good group from partying.
0 from college
1 from 12 years of work (who fits into two of the categories above)

Didn't have time or any interest in making new friends at college really. I got on with plenty but it had plenty of good friends around.

I try to stay away from making good friends via work. Still meet up with a couple of groups of ex colleges but calling them good friends (as I understand it) would be pushing it, great craic all the same.

Peter Anthony

I have a good group of friends from home, but I see them sparingly now since I've cut down on drinking, which is ****. I'm hoping to see more of them soon. The last place I worked I didnt really make friends as it was only a few months and colleagues were different ages or annoying. Been in a college a few times at this stage. 1st time I made a good group but I left and we went our seperate ways. Not many friends the other times.

My mother always says if you get a few close friends in your life you're doing well. I have a handful that I'll try and keep in contact with as long as possible. I think to sustain friendships particularly ones that arent close you need to have stuff in common like hobbies, and ideally live not far away long term. Hope I make a few new friends in 2016

NotYourYear20

I learned some time ago, to always keep work and play separate from each other.

AppleBottle

I've two girls in work that I would get on very well with, confide in them, update them on personal issues in my life. In relation to college, I've still very good friends with the three girls I would regularly be with in college. We meet up every now and then for a catch up and have a group on facebook where we message each other every now and then also.

c_man

Friends? Sure, we'd all like friends but what are the odds of that eh?

Out of all the people I've worked with over the years, I've made three good friends. We're scattered to the four corners now but I still keep in regular contact. I've been chatting to two of them today.

Moreso than most, I find it particularly tough making friends. I'm glad I've a few, even though none of them are living with a 100 miles of me. But hey who knows what 2016 will bring?

Peter Anthony

I find it hard to go from acquintances to proper friends. You really need to see the person regularly like in work college or hobbies, and also have other stuff in common. Then you actually need to click and get on.

tomwaterford

NotYourYear20 wrote: »

I learned some time ago, to always keep work and play separate from each other.

I agree....while yes their sound etc and I'd talk away if met them out (not talk about work though-I refuse to outside work)
I wouldn't really say friends as above I prefer to keep separate..

.much the same way I prefer to keep my family/private life separate from my friends...as while they'd tell me anything....most don't even know where i work/live most of the time...

I deeply value privacy IRL and hate any of them overlapping

caille

I'm the same, I have made some great friends through work in previous jobs, who are still my friends today.

SarahMollie

kfallon wrote: »

There's about 3 or 4 people I work with that I would class as really good friends. Often go drinking with them on a Friday and if I stopped working here today I would still keep in contact with.

Unfortunately we don't work in the same team anymore but I'd often call over for a chat or we'd IM each other.

I thought this too, until I moved companies about 18 months ago. Only one friendship stood the test of time, and she's moved to Australia for her work and we're still in regular contact. Going over to visit her next month actually.

Happy to have maintained one really good friend for life from that job, and I've made new friends in my new job too. I think some people fade in and out of your life over time, and its really only a few ppl who you can count of for the long term.

Ficheall

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I wouldn't sit on the toilet talking to my work friend in the bath, whereas I would do that with my friend from college

Number one or number two?

Mesrine65

My professional & personal life are two separate entities that don't mix.

Corvo

Yeah, I'm great friends with a number of people from work, whom I would also go out for drinks with or even hang around with at weekends.

I'm also dating a girl from work...that'll be fun when it blows up.

I don't understand not wanting to mix work and friendships. Work would be a much more boring place without being friends with people. I've gotten so friendly with people that I essentially work with some of my best friends now and I wouldn't change it for anything. The craic we have makes the weeks much easier.

SarahMollie

Kristopher Quaint Choir wrote: »

I don't understand not wanting to mix work and friendships. Work would be a much more boring place without being friends with people. I've gotten so friendly with people that I essentially work with some of my best friends now and I wouldn't change it for anything. The craic we have makes the weeks much easier.

Cant believe I'm actually agreeing with Nox for once....

Some ppl here sound like right craic vacuums in the workplace.

Mesrine65

Kristopher Quaint Choir wrote: »

I don't understand not wanting to mix work and friendships. Work would be a much more boring place without being friends with people. I've gotten so friendly with people that I essentially work with some of my best friends now and I wouldn't change it for anything. The craic we have makes the weeks much easier.

Depends on what your job role is...

I'm a security manager, I therefore maintain a professional distance from my co-workers as, for example, should there be any need for me to search a locker, escort an employee off the premises or carry out an investigation of an incident, it makes my job easier to perform effectively than if I was over friendly with my fellow employees.

There are different kinds of friendships, it depends on the people. My last boss was one of my best friends and so was his wife, and we're in constant contact. He's decades older than I am, and without work it's unlikely we would have met or become friends. My current boss is great too, very easy to get along with and I suspect we'll become good friends over time. We do socialise but there are also other people on my floor with whom I'm friendly in work and get along with, but I wouldn't choose to spend a night out with them. It doesn't mean I don't like them, just that we don't have much outside work to sustain a friendship independent of it.

I have no friends kept from secondary school, bar one. I've two friends from primary, but we're not very close. I've made more friends in my final years as a student and my career since I did in all my school years put together. I generally get along with most people, on the rare occasions I take a dislike to someone, I can generally get past it for the sake of a quiet life.

Strumms

Kristopher Quaint Choir wrote: »

I don't understand not wanting to mix work and friendships. Work would be a much more boring place without being friends with people. I've gotten so friendly with people that I essentially work with some of my best friends now and I wouldn't change it for anything. The craic we have makes the weeks much easier.

Sounds great but not every work environment is like that. Sounds like you got lucky and I agree. Working with people who you like and can have a bit of craic with sure does make the days and working week go by easier so you are one of the lucky ones that has that mix of personalities to make that possible.

From my own perspective I have what I'd call 'work friends'. We all get along well in general, make a point of eating out together on lunch regularly but we would only socialize maybe 4 or 5 times a year. Good craic always and good for team morale. Of those 6 individuals there is a mix of single, married, kids, no kids, living locally and those out in commuter belts. Plus everyone has their own interests so there is no really going for pints after work or the like. We don't txt each other outside work unless it was about something quite specific.

I have worked in another department within the same company where it was just bitch central and by that I mean the blokes too. People out to undermine colleagues at the drop of a hat and it got to the stage where the work was the easy part but it was navigating the mind games and the BS of it all was such a drag. I got out of there fast. Still walk through that office every now and then and you can still cut the bitterness with a knife so I think it's luck of the draw really.

caille

Of course it depends on the people and the work situation. As I said before, I have friends of very long standing from previous jobs.