grandparents looking for full custody

duckduck1991

Recently got back in contact with my ex after a year of me not being around..We have 4 kids...Her parents have helped her over the last year alot with the children seeing as I wasn't around..This was not by choice I wasn't really left with much of a choice and my family were also shut out from seeing the kids..Anyway my ex partners parents are control freaks and always were to involved with everything ..They also hate me and when I left last year it was music to their ears so they moved in more to gain more control of the children and made it as easy as possible for my ex partner to cope by regularity babysitting and taking the strain off her..Anyway they found out I was back around and waited till my ex partner went down to collect the kids and they went crazy..They now have all 3kids and are looking for full custody all because I am back. .we are still not sure if they have seen a solicitor yet but if we challenge them through court they said their gonna fight it or if we some how manage to get the kids back they are gonna bring us to court and look for full custody .i can't go down and barge in either because I wasn't involved for the last year and her father is twice my size and will just kick my ass...Are they alloud do this ? Can we call the guards to escort us to the house to get our kids back? I mean I'm their father and my ex partner is their mother.. the grandparents are interfering. . they are co dependent on my children and always were..and they genuinely believe that they have a second shot at parenthood ..What can we do ..where do we stand ?

johnnyskeleton

Your ex should ring the gardai and explain everything that has happened.

After that, she should speak to a solicitor.

duckduck1991

johnnyskeleton wrote: »

Your ex should ring the gardai and explain everything that has happened.

After that, she should speak to a solicitor.

Can the gardai actually do anything tho ? ..I'm just totally lost ..Dont really want to involve the gardai for them to tell us they can't help after we explain anything..we are going to a solicitor tomorrow..I just thought I mite get some answers here first.. I'll be up half the night wrecking my head about it anyway

TheChizler

I'm not sure I'm following but would it be correct to say that the grandparents have taken the kids from their parents and won't give them back? And neither parent is ok with this?

duckduck1991

TheChizler wrote: »

I'm not sure I'm following but would it be correct to say that the grandparents have taken the kids from their parents and won't give them back? And neither parent is ok with this?

Yes that's exactly wats happened..But the grandparents have been heavily involved in the kids lives but even so I still don't think it's right

TheQuietFella

While not knowing the full circumstances of your absence it's a hard one

to call but shouldn't you have made more a fight of it before now?

12 months without seeing your children is quite a while and expecting

to walk back in to their lives without any consideration for those who

looked after them in YOUR absence in my view is a little neglectful.

If you were doing time then there viewpoint is understandable!

freshpopcorn

Are any of the children in school?

Dravokivich

Do you have guardianship?

If not make an application to the courts, with an application for access. They can't prevent you from doing both and their daughter be obligated to make the children available to you if there is an access order with a defined schedule.

Without either, only the mother can report to the gardai that the children are being held by her parents against her wishes. It sounds like they are betting on her not doing so.

Even though the mother as automatic custody, the maternal grandparents have no immediate right in that regards.

duckduck1991

TheQuietFella wrote: »

While not knowing the full circumstances of your absence it's a hard one

to call but shouldn't you have made more a fight of it before now?

12 months without seeing your children is quite a while and expecting

to walk back in to their lives without any consideration for those who

looked after them in YOUR absence in my view is a little neglectful.

If you were doing time then there viewpoint is understandable!

The spark was gone I moved out and a month later i met someone else ..My ex partner got very angry and we fell out big time..she then stoped me and my family from seeing the children and I thought along with my family that its unfair that we have to fight to see the children and give her time to cool off..it just dragged into a year

duckduck1991

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Are any of the The oldest twins are both in play school

4ensic15

duckduck1991 wrote: »

Recently got back in contact with my ex after a year of me not being around..We have 4 kids...They now have all 3kids and are looking for full custody all because I am back.

Are there 3 kids or 4 kids?

jacknife

talk to your ex and try and come to a reasonable situation.
Keep 3rd parties out
Make a parenting plan
Gardai will not want to get involved, solicitors will make it messy.
Stay away from social workers, they are trouble

do your best to sort it out and good luck

davmol

Regardless of whether the Grandparents(GP) are too involved or not,they still cared for your kids for a year while you weren't around.

I think they deserve some respect and regardless of your relationship with your then Ex its not that hard to see your kids if you really wanted.

Somehow I don't think we are hearing the full story here and I take my hat off to the GPs for stepping up and ensuring the kids were looked after considering their parents couldn't be mature enough to put their issues aside and think of the kids and not use them as a tool in your argument.

snor

Yes, certainly a lot more to this than what we have read. Basically, you went off with another woman and did not see your 3 or possibly 4 kids for a year. Not a usual occurrence that! No other member of your family involved with these 3/4 children. Children obviously have strong bond with grand parents who no doubt supported their daughter physically, financially, psychologically etc.

Imagine walking out on a woman and leaving here to manage by herself with 3/4 kids. I suppose you financilly supported your children generously during this years absense also? . Lots more to this and indeed to you that you ar not revealing here. Grandparents are doing what any self respecting parent and grandparent would do - protecting their daughter and grandchildrn. I hardly think at this stage of their lives they would choose to have to start parenting 3/4 children unless it was absolute necessary. best of luck to them.

TheChizler

Aren't the grandparents keeping the children from their mother as well? Going by the description it sounds like kidnapping essentially.

bmwguy

Is this you on your own against your parents in law and your wife?

Or is it you and your wife against your parents in law?

2 very different scenarios and I can't figure out which it is from your posts

nikkibikki

TheChizler wrote:

Aren't the grandparents keeping the children from their mother as well? Going by the description it sounds like kidnapping essentially.

Sounds like kidnapping to me too and thus an issue for the guards. OP, you need to work with your ex as a team here. Also make sure her parents don't have the kids passports, just in case.

There is more to this story obviously and you have not behaved well but you need to put that in the past, put your pride and ego to one side, be the best Dad you can be for the future before it's too late. Sounds like you left your ex high and dry and you need to apologise to her for the way you behaved and work on being the best parents ye can be.

goz83

The op sounds like a waster and a cheater who walked out on his partner and turned his back on his kids and no doubt, he played tye bictim in all this.

All that aside, the grandparents are keeping the kids against the wishes of the parents. It is kidnapping and I would be calling the gardai and speaking to a solicitor, because the grandparents will fight.

that said, the grandparents obviously want the best for the kids, so i would try resolve it amicably.

seamus

That the grandparents would try to take full custody sounds to me like they don't trust the mother to cope. Does the mother have any substance abuse or mental health problems?

I agree that if the grandparents have taken the kids and are not "allowing" the parents to see or take the kids, then it's kidnapping. But rather than pour petrol on this fire, it's worth looking for more amicable solutions. Having them charged with kidnapping and the Gardai storming the house to forcibly remove them has the potential to further fracture the family and distress the children.
The childrens' welfare is paramount here and it sounds like they've already had a sh1tty 12 months.

ScottStorm

I think op has explained himself poorly, is op back with the mother after a year shacked up elsewhere?

If someone stole my kids then no threat of beating would stop me from trying to get them back, surely from a legal standpoint taking a beating from the grandfather would help the case?

haveringchick

I sincerely hope that the grandparents or either of the parents have moved to involve Child Protection in this case as it would seem to be a serious situation
The social workers will soon ascertain the real situation and desicions can be made from there
OP contact the social workers yourself
If you are concerned only for the welfare of your kids then you have nothing to worry about

kerryguy78

Hi my wife is been taken to court by her ex who she has a daughter together, the summons had three issues to be ironed out. He is seeking guardianship, amend maintenance and access. Guardianship is no problem, maintenance was set buy a court order in 2012 for €65 p/w which he is in arrears of over €1000, we will be looking for the arrears to be paid. Access has never been a problem he just didn't bother, he has taken her overnight 4 times this year each time my wife drove two hour round trip for drop off and two hour round trip for pick up. When the child is in his care 90% she ends up vomiting for some reason. And he does nothing to help her or look after her when he is sick only srugging his shoulders and saying here we go again. Now he wants to take her to a wedding in uk which my wife is determined that it isn't safe for the child to go with an unfit parent. We need advice on this upcoming court appearance please.

December2012

Your wife should contact a solicitor. Legal aid do family law

nuac

Sympathies to all involved.
Matter for a family law solicitor rather than these boards
Thread closed