Homesick and Conflicted about Ireland

HenryChinaski

I've been living in Korea for five years and it's been good. I have a lovely American girlfriend with whom I share a nice home, we make good money, and we live a very settled life with our two fat cats. Really, I can't complain at all, but at the same time, Korea has run its course and its time to move on. We've been counting down for a while and now we're finally at the three month mark. When we leave, we're going to do six weeks in the States and six weeks in Ireland, which is something we've been working toward and saving for for a long time now. I booked my flight the other day and I'm absolutely over the moon! I've only been home once (for 7 days last May) in the last four years and I absolutely loved it, so naturally the thought of six weeks has me jumping out of my skin!

The thing is, we're both English teachers and I'm kind of committing to a career abroad for at least another 5 or 6 years (I think) while I try to build up my CV enough to eventually find a way back home or to America or even just Spain or somewhere a little closer. That's a whole other kettle of fish with plenty of other issues, but my main problem now, is I just can't be arsed with the idea of anything but going home really!

I'm completely checked out of work and can't bring myself to make any sort of effort above the bare minimum. I'm also secretly dreading the idea of leaving Ireland again in July/August only to find a new country and start from scratch all over again. We'll also be taking a major paycut for our troubles but if it works out, and I think it should (eventually), it will be nice and we should have a better lifestyle that we both enjoy.

But every time I think about the positives, I just come back to home and how much I've missed it since I went back last May. I really don't see moving home long-term as a viable option for the foreseeable future and I'm not even sure I'd want to but I'm just so conflicted about it, it's half driving me crazy. I keep thinking about everything I miss, like the sense of relief I get when I breathe in the Irish air, the silence of my back garden, walks with my dog, driving through the Burren, the smell of seaweed when I drive out to the coast in west Clare, green grass, Dublin, pints with the lads, and just having the f**king craic.

Will six weeks at home help put my mind at ease regarding moving on again, or will it make leaving even harder? In the meantime, what do I do to keep myself sane? I seriously can't stop thinking about home. I miss it so much right now.

R.D. aka MR.D

Hi,

I actually read your comment in the thread about on here about travelling and it broke my heart a little bit.

I've been living in Asia for almost 4 years now, Korea, China and Japan. Like you, I have an American OH. Like you, I leave in about 3 months (11 weeks to be exact :pac:)

So as you can see, I've moved about a bit and in between those countries, I've spent time in the US and in Ireland (and other travelling).

We're going to the US immediately after the contract finishes and then moving to Ireland around April time. There was a time when I thought that I would never want to live in Ireland again and I've made my OH promise me that we will give it 3 years and if it doesn't work then we'll move on again. But we have to take the chance. My OH hasn't even been to Ireland and he's making this leap. Asia traps people. In the last 2 years, we've seen it. It's all fun and games when you are in your early/mid twenties but then it starts to get worse. TEFL in Asia is a young mans game. I'm sure you've met plenty of those guys/girls who have been there too long and they've basically forgotten how to function as a normal human being.

Do you mind me asking why you don't see yourself moving home?

Also, you say that you need to build up your CV. Do you have a CELTA? Are you sure that ESL is right for you? Also, you could easily get a job in Europe. If you don't want to marry your girlfriend then you guys could go to Germany or the Czech Republic where it's easier for her visa-wise. The money might not be great but it really isn't the most important thing.

I know how you're feeling. All I care about is the moment that I land in Las Vegas and I have a Margarita in one hand and a giant, spicy burrito in another and I never have to teach another Asian kid again (loved teaching in Korea and China but despise Japan with a passion in terms of teaching which as you know, you spend most of your time doing!!). What I'm doing is focusing on doing little things to get through it. Working out is main one at the minute. I want to have achieved a certain goal by the weekend before we leave. Do you have any hobbies?

I'm not sure what else to tell you other than you can get through it. Nobody on here knows how the 6 weeks will make you feel. For example, my OH goes home at least once a year because he gets so homesick but 2 weeks in and he wants to leave again! I'm not like that though so people are different.

cactusgal

Hi guys, I also have an idea of how you're feeling, my situation is a bit complicated as well, but I've been living away from my home country for many years now and I get you. Also in a relationship with someone of a different nationality, who I love very much.

OP, to echo the previous poster (RD - always enjoy your posts, BTW!) , do you have a CELTA? Would you consider doing a DELTA and either going into EFL management, or possibly CELTA training? The EFL industry in Dublin has picked up a lot in the last few years.