Ditched by my friend

LegacyUser

I've been ditched by my best friend and it hurts so much. We were friends since for a long time but she's now found a new group of friends who she spends all her time with.

Everytime I try to contact her she's "too busy" to meet up and her txts are short and cold. I keep txting because I miss her and I'm lonely, which makes me feel embarrassed and like I've lost my dignity. It's clear she has no interest in seeing or even speaking with me.

Deep down I know it's time to move on but its difficult when I keep wondering where it went wrong. I didn't do anything, she just cut me out out of the blue, and it hurts so much.

Any advice to help me move on or get through this would be much appreciated.

Ursus Horribilis

Something tells me that she's not just your best friend but your only friend. It's horrible that she has ditched you but there's nothing you can do. The more you pester her, the more she's going to feel she was right to ditch you.

The best solution to this is to keep busy and start working on making new friends. Are there any clubs/groups you could join locally? I also think you should in follow her on Facebook so you can't see what she's up to. You sound horribly hung up on her and more than a little needy. Perhaps that's a reason why she doesn't want to hang around with you now.

Vicxas

Ditched wrote: »

I've been ditched by my best friend and it hurts so much. We were friends since for a long time but she's now found a new group of friends who she spends all her time with.

Everytime I try to contact her she's "too busy" to meet up and her txts are short and cold. I keep txting because I miss her and I'm lonely, which makes me feel embarrassed and like I've lost my dignity. It's clear she has no interest in seeing or even speaking with me.

Deep down I know it's time to move on but its difficult when I keep wondering where it went wrong. I didn't do anything, she just cut me out out of the blue, and it hurts so much.

Any advice to help me move on or get through this would be much appreciated.

It can be quite a shock when someone you were so close with cuts ties, it does leave you feeling very raw.

Its best to let sleeping dogs lie for now, constant texting will only drive her further away and also make you feel worse.

My suggestion would be to busy yourself and perhaps join a local club or group and hopefully meet a kindred spirit there. (This is advice i've been trying to give my self for quite some time)

Chin up, plenty more friends in the sea

jopax

Hi op,

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you, it is very hurtful and confusing.
I don't think you sound needy, I think you have been let down and dumped by someone that you thought was a friend.
You will have to just leave her to her new so called friends. She doesn't sound very genuine if she can just cut you out without any explanation as to why she done this.
It is horrible, but just put your energy into finding new hobbies, and you will find new friends naturally.
This is a lot more common than you think, you are certainly not alone.
You will be fine, trust in yourself, its her loss. x

Rubberchikken

so sorry op. it's a horrible thing to happen to anyone. it's also a horrible thing for someone to do and very hurtful.

are you in school/college/work?
for now it'll hurt but in time that will pass and things will look a lot better.
try to take up some new activity. helps keep the mind busy and will open up opportunities for new friends.

take care

LegacyUser

You could try being direct and text something like this. "I have noticed you have been very distant lately. I really value our friendship. If there is something I've done to upset you then let me know so we can talk it over and try and fix things. If you don't want to be friends anymore that's okay but I would prefer if you would be straight with me".

If she doesn't reply or gives you an answer which is non comittal or rude then it's time to leave her be.

It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, people change, their needs change. If I were you I would try to be more involved in clubs, meetups and make an extra effort to meet people who appreciate you.

LegacyUser

Hi Ditched

I know just how you feel. I was friendly with this woman for a long time. I was always there for her. I knew at times she was busy with work and other things and I made allowances for this.
One day I sent her a text and said why don't we go out on Sat night? I got back I don't want to go out Sat and then was told to basically **** off.

I was very upset at the time. After a short period of time I began to realise I missed going out the odd Saturday night. I did not miss her complaining about her job and her life in general. I got involved with a group and met a really nice woman there.

This lady and I are now great friends. I went though a few bad patches last year but she was there for me then. I got involved a few other things also and made a few new friends there also.
It is horrible when this happens to you. I know as I got older I realised that you don't dump your friends on the way up as you could be glad of them on the way down.
At this stage I would not ring or text her again. Look at getting involved with some new groups or organisations. You will met and get to know more people and will make new friends.

I feel that some time in the future this so called friend of yours will come back into your life. Just be to busy then to meet her.

A few months ago I got a text from this ex friend of mine. I ignored it as I felt your just back in contact with me for some reason. I then heard some news about her which proved my point.