Bed time troubles

poconnor16

Does anyone have any advice on getting a toddler with ASD and a 3 month old to bed?
3 month old - only started putting her up and she is quite unsettled. Just needs time really to get used to going to bed.
3 year old toddler - shouting echolalia, getting up and down out of bed, takes ages to settle and keeps little one awake.
I'm at my tethers end, every evening is a battleground, crying from all angles. Neither of us can go out because it takes two of us to deal with it. The stress each evening is not helping us either.
Any thoughts?

CaraMay

Would you consider splitting the bedtimes and even putting the baby asleep downstairs until ye are going to bed?

Epsom salts baths are good for magnesium which aids sleep. Also turn off TV or any electrical appliances eg iPad, at least two hours before bed.

A 45 minute routine is enough so maybe start with the bath for 15 minutes or so and then change the toddler into pj's in their room where you can read to them or allow them play with a book or toy for a few minutes. This is time consuming at the start but you cAn begin to shorten it once they realise bed is after bath etc

It's so stressful. Our man now goes to sleep ok but wakes up during night. It's hell.

We've taken everything except the bed out of his room so he has no distractions in there. I did find that those start lamps / toys did help him.

Routine is key so set one that suits you.

poconnor16

Oh god CaraMay I'm so glad I am not alone. I've split bedtimes, but he is now taking 3 hours to go to sleep, so when I put the baby up he starts banging his door and screaming etc. I was alone tonight and actually lost is, shouted at him and he cried. I feel awful now.
We have no electronics at the moment, as I find it doesn't help his behaviour. He has gone to pot since his ABA finished for Xmas so hopefully it will get better when she is back.
I just hate him going to bed upset, but he is so testing. Now I'm upset...this sucks

CaraMay

It's very distressing indeed. Is he gettunh enough exercise during the day? I'm running the legs off him in a play centre every day.

poconnor16

Right now with the weather, no not really. Once we are back to normal, will fix that for sure. Although yesterday he did, was at a play centre and was up since 7am!
Have him in the bath now with Epsom salts, lavender etc. got a gro clock for his room and have ordered a grow light as he seems to be afraid of the dark.
We'll see how it goes.

CaraMay

Fingers crossed. Would he have reason to have a problem with yeast eg antibiotics etc

CaraMay

Oh and body massage after the bath? I've tried it all.

poconnor16

He got a massage there now with lavender type cream. His diet...could be something. He has become increasingly fussy and difficult so it would be very wheat and yeast full. Nappies have never been juice but he eats a lot of fruit. The things we talk about!!
He is upstairs now but baby is down with me. He is jumping about, repeating Peppa Pig (hasn't seen it in 5 weeks!?!) but I will leave him as his room is completely safe.
Will keep you posted!

CaraMay

Yeast overgrowth can cause inappropriate laughing, climbing, severe giddiness, sleep issues etc etc

It's a lottery.

hairyslug

We have 3 (2 aut, 1 asp) we have a strict bedtime routine and the kids seem to enjoy it and understand whats coming. We found that having a routine saved our sanity and in the early days like you there was no chance of us not getting them to bed by ourselves.

We have had to separate the 2 girls, bedroom and bedtime. Our youngest will go to bed but will wake up most nights for a song. This took some time for us to be comfortable with, now we wake up, hear she's only singing and we nod off again.

Our boys routine is 1 on 1, with either myself or my wife, and will end with one of us singing to him. 30 min after bed our 2 youngest are asleep.

It didn't start that way, it took about 4 months to get to this stage, sticking with the routine (it's a fun one, involving games, supper, face and hand wash and teeth brushing) they are so used to it, they lead us.

We just stuck to it, takes time and nerve but it paid off

poconnor16

So tonight we have success!! I used is picture schedule (now and next) and really broke it down. I also allowed him to leave his light on. I think he has become afraid of the dark as his mind is developing.
CaraMay - thanks for being there and the info!

poconnor16

Hairy slug - thank you for sharing that. I cannot imagine having three kids on the spectrum!
Routine seems to have worked I think

CaraMay

Yay!! Well done

poconnor16

Back to same again tonight. Echolalia at an all time peak and he is screaming his head off. Woke the baby twice. I sat with him for 30 mins, left and he started screaming crying. Husband up there now.
It's just non stop all day. No sooner does he stop and I am doing the first of 3 night feeds. Baby due to wake for bottle at 11.30, toddler wide awake.
Baby feeds at 1, 4 and 7 then we are all up and it all starts again.
I cannot go too many places as the meltdowns have taken over really . I just don't look forward to starting the day anymore

CaraMay

It's so frustrating. 3 am here and he's up making noises and sounds. I cake to bed at 8 to try to get sleep before he woke. Have to get back and try melatonin but hate the thought of it. Home tutor back tomorrow plus he started nystatin for yeast. Here's me giving advice when my on house is in chaos due to lack of sleep ....

poconnor16

Advice or no, you are kinda here with me which is great. Our tutor is back on Wednesday. Maybe they are not mentally stimulated enough over the hols and can't sleep?
I've never tried melatonin - does it work? Are there side affects?

CaraMay

Yeah I don't know.

It's supposed work best to get kids off to sleep and it's trial and error with my fella as it doesn't necessarily keep him asleep.

Yep there are reports of side effects, like everything else, so you need to talk to your gp of even better your eit paediatrician. It's supposed to be very safe though but do your homework first.

frazzledma

I sympathise so deeply, I had the same with my daughter, she is 11 now but from birth to about age 3 every bedtime was a dreadful torment for her and of course us!

Luckily, she taught herself to read by age 3 (one of her autistic superpowers as I call them) and then when she could read herself to sleep she was fine.

We didn't have Youtube when she was little so I don't know if this would help you now, but she also enjoys listening to children's sleep videos (though the musical ones are overstimulating for her).

If there are sensory processing issues, perhaps a weighted blanket might help? They are pricey I've heard other parents swear by furniture that rocks or swings. Unfortunately tiring my daughter out and withholding naps through the day didn't help at all. The more tired she was the worse it got I felt. But she still only takes about 6-7 hours sleep a night.

My daughter sang The Wheels On the Bus for a whole year constantly then switched to Jingle Bells for another whole year! I feel your peppa pig pain! I wish you all the best and hope for some peace in the evenings soon. It's so tiring and upsetting for everyone and a new baby as well, ugh, it's a very tough time for you.

poconnor16

Being back at tuition has definitely helped. 8.30 and he conked. We have to leave a light on for him and the gro light is fantastic. His tuition just increased to 4 hours so he is wrecked. Hoping to get baby down now and hit the sack!!