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Break up

  • 01-01-2016 9:00pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all, long time reader first time posting...

    I'm a female in my late 20s and I've been with my partner for a few months now. Nice guy, but i think I've gotten to the stage where I don't think it's going anywhere. I don't really feel anything for the guy and while I like him as a person this hasnt evolved into me falling for him.

    I'm feeling really guilty about wanting to break up with him, while he's talking about weekends away and the future. I know the best thing to do is to break up and let him down gently. I believe a lot of this is down to me clearly not being ready for a relationship but id rather stay away from the cliché of the it's not you its me approach... Does anyone have any wisdom that they could impart?


Comments

  • #2
    Colonel_McCoy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 751 ✭✭✭Colonel_McCoy


    Just be honest and explain how you no longer have feelings for him. The sooner you do it the better for both of you


  • #3
    Merkin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,230 ✭✭✭Merkin


    I'm all for letting people down gently but if you're too wishy washy in your approach you can really mess with someone's head. Be honest. Say you you've been having doubts, have given it a lot of thought and you simply don't see any kind of romantic future with him. Don't ask to be friends either, it's always well intentioned but is ultimately quite insulting. Be really honest and do it soon so you can both move on. Good luck, it's never a nice thing to have to do.


  • #4
    Rubberchikken
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,093 ✭✭✭Rubberchikken


    be hinest. it's hard to be the one to do it, but healthier and more decent to be honest.


  • #5
    jimmycrackcorm
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,378 ✭✭✭✭jimmycrackcorm


    Colonel_McCoy wrote:
    Just be honest and explain how you no longer have feelings for him. The sooner you do it the better for both of you

    Yes, be honest but there's no need to be negative either. Be honest about your reasons for splitting up but do reiterate all the positive qualities about that person at the same time. It's possible to split up and still make that person feel good about themselves.


  • #6
    HenryChinaski
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 118 ✭✭HenryChinaski


    Just be kind and be honest. I've been on both ends of that situation and it's not really pleasant but if it's only been a few months, it's also the kind of thing you can get over pretty quickly. It's a fine line between being kind and condescending so you should use your judgement to find the line where you can be sincere without being harsh. The sooner the better is right though. No point dragging out something out if you see no future in it. That benefits neither of you.


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