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2nd date

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  • 31-12-2015 2:56am
    #1
    Amprodude
    Registered Users Posts: 4,034 ✭✭✭


    Just wondering I met this girl out one night and we got on well. We met on first date and it went well and we kissed. Now we are going on 2nd date and she has told me that I can stay at her friends house which is free that night we are meeting. We are going out and possibly staying in that house afterwards. I'm wondering is this a plan to have sex with me? I love the girl but I'm not into having sex with women I just have newly met,I might be odd but that's just me. What do you think?


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    #2
    KERSPLAT!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    Go as far as you're comfortable with. If she has an issue with not having sex then you're probably better off outta there anyway.


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    #3
    Amprodude
    Registered Users Posts: 4,034 ✭✭✭Amprodude


    KERSPLAT! wrote: »
    Go as far as you're comfortable with. If she has an issue with not having sex then you're probably better off outta there anyway.

    Is it OK to refuse on those basis?


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    #4
    chickenlicken2
    Registered Users Posts: 171 ✭✭chickenlicken2


    Amprodude wrote: »
    Is it OK to refuse on those basis?

    Yes completely. If things are moving towards the bedroom and you don't want it to, just say you don't want to rush things and you would prefer to wait and get to know her a little better.

    You comment in your first post that you love the girl. After one date?? Perhaps don't mention this...


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    #5
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    Yeah, it's fine to say you don't sleep with someone til you know them a bit better.


    But don't follow it up with saying you love her, like you've done here! Love is waaaaaay more intense than sex, and is something you should DEFINITELY hold off on until you know her!


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    #6
    shamrock2004
    Closed Accounts Posts: 603 ✭✭✭shamrock2004


    Amprodude wrote: »
    Just wondering I met this girl out one night and we got on well. We met on first date and it went well and we kissed. Now we are going on 2nd date and she has told me that I can stay at her friends house which is free that night we are meeting. We are going out and possibly staying in that house afterwards. I'm wondering is this a plan to have sex with me? I love the girl but I'm not into having sex with women I just have newly met,I might be odd but that's just me. What do you think?

    It's not odd at all. I have slept with girls I liked early on and it was a disaster in so far as I didn't know the girl well enough for sex to mean anything, and it always ended the same with me not wanting to meet again. If you really like the girl - don't sleep with her until you really get to know her and the sex will hopefully be something a lot more meaningful and being your relationship to the next level. Good luck!


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    #7
    wirelessdude01
    Registered Users Posts: 8,418 ✭✭✭wirelessdude01


    OK your coming across just a tad strange and strong with the use of the 'L' word.


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    #8
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    Is this the same girl you were in a twist about not too long ago? http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057539580 There seems to be an awful lot of intensity and drama going on for what's just a second date.


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    #9
    Amprodude
    Registered Users Posts: 4,034 ✭✭✭Amprodude


    Odus fell down wrote: »
    Is this the same girl you were in a twist about not too long ago? http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057539580 There seems to be an awful lot of intensity and drama going on for what's just a second date.

    Thats her. She still on the cards at the moment anyway. I'm nervous though I just don't want to end something I'm enjoying at the moment and I think having sex woud be more damaging than good at this early stage. If she likes me enough I'm sure she will respect my decision and understand.

    What do you all reckon?


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    #10
    KERSPLAT!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,152 ✭✭✭✭KERSPLAT!


    If she doesn't respect it then she's not worth hanging around anyway.


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    #11
    njs030
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,030 ✭✭✭njs030


    I think if you are needing to start a new thread for each date there's a problem much bigger than where to sleep.

    Are you usually so anxious op?


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    #12
    Amprodude
    Registered Users Posts: 4,034 ✭✭✭Amprodude


    notjustsweet wrote: »
    I think if you are needing to start a new thread for each date there's a problem much bigger than where to sleep.

    Are you usually so anxious op?

    Anxious and nervous by nature, I don't get alot of opportunities in most things I do and when something goes some bit right I'm nervous of messing up. That's all.


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    #13
    njs030
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,030 ✭✭✭njs030


    Amprodude wrote: »
    Anxious and nervous by nature, I don't get alot of opportunities in most things I do and when something goes some bit right I'm nervous of messing up. That's all.

    Maybe you need to try and relax and not overthink things, that could be your resolution!!


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    #14
    Amprodude
    Registered Users Posts: 4,034 ✭✭✭Amprodude


    notjustsweet wrote: »
    Maybe you need to try and relax and not overthink things, that could be your resolution!!

    I hate the unknown, it makes me shiver.


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    #15
    PsychoSue
    Registered Users Posts: 54 ✭✭PsychoSue


    Amprodude wrote: »
    I hate the unknown, it makes me shiver.

    As someone who had serious OCD and anxiety I would strongly recommend that you look into ways of managing that fear of the unknown. It took me a long time but I'm no longer trying to predict or control every aspect of my life and I'm a much calmer and happier person now.
    The unknown DOESNT have to bad, it could be exciting. DECIDE to be excited about it, take control of your feelings, don't allow negative feelings to control you....


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    #16
    cazzer22
    Registered Users Posts: 501 ✭✭✭cazzer22


    PsychoSue wrote: »
    As someone who had serious OCD and anxiety I would strongly recommend that you look into ways of managing that fear of the unknown. It took me a long time but I'm no longer trying to predict or control every aspect of my life and I'm a much calmer and happier person now.
    The unknown DOESNT have to bad, it could be exciting. DECIDE to be excited about it, take control of your feelings, don't allow negative feelings to control you....

    A really solid piece of advice, go with the flow!


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