depressed about alot of things

LegacyUser

I am a 37 year old guy that's try to change but there's such an overwhelming amount of stuff I need to. The solution to most of my problems are fixable , there's a very specific actions I need to take but there are other issues that will be much harder to fix at my age

1.My drinking, I can easily put away 2 bottles of wine in an evening with a nice meal , what's even more depressing is id do this on my own in my apartment watching TV. I'm not sure if I am an alcoholic because I wouldn't ever touch harder drinks like whiskey and I rarely drink beer, I feel the wine and food is a comfort I have developed for having such a boring lonely life. I think I can cut the booze to 1 night a week but I don't think I can go cold turkey

2.My weight, I'm 6ft tall and 21 stone which is a disgrace. This is very fixable though, eat healthy 80-90% of the time and hit the gym 4 days a week

3.My Job, I hate my job. Whilst I earn a good wage , I just hate it because I am constantly up the walls and I can see certain other people getting preferable treatment . There's a very clicky environment in my place of work and I'm just sick of it, I also worked my ass off this year and bailed them out on numerous occasions but it looks like I'm still going to get a poor end of year review which leaves me with a great sense of injustice

4.Very Few Friends, I have only 1 very good friend and few other people I know but I don't have big social circle to hang out with. I had no one to go out with on st stephans day and ill be stuck in on new years as well, I was out with a friend on christmas eve but that was it. I suppose at 37 most people are settled down with kids at this stage and making friends is much more difficult for people my age, I know people will say I need to just put myself out there and make an effort put point number 2 regarding my weight has given me very low self esteem so I just feel more comfortable, I am single as well which isnt a major issue for me. I don't have any longing to have a girlfriend but I would love to have the ability to go out an have a could chance of getting one if I wanted to , if that makes any sense

Would appreciate some advice

HelgaWard

If you sort out your diet & exercise, you will knock the drink on the head too because it won't fit in with your new regime. If I were you I would join a sociable exercise class, like the type of one where an instructor coaches a group 3/4 times a week, like Insanity/BoxFit/Boot Camp style classes. There are lots of these available all over the country and lots of them will give you diet plans too. If you attend these regularly you will meet people, get chatting and make friends. Running clubs are another very sociable option, that you could perhaps included after you've got your initial fitness up and lost some weight. I'm 37 too, married with kids, and to be honest going to exercise classes & running are my social life now!! And judging by the age profile of most people who attend them it's the same of lots of people our age!! It's the New Year in a matter of days, lots of these exercise businesses will be starting new terms or even special classes for beginners. There will be plenty of people in the same boat as yourself.
You have to make the change, you know your life will be better after 1 week/1 month/1 year of changing your life style, so take control and do it!!

Roselm

There are roughly 600 calories in a bottle of wine so that's 1200 per day. You'll lose a lot of weight if you cut this out/down to one glass a night.

Dr Robert

It sounds like you know what to do. You just need to go and do it.


Good luck.

Penny Tration

Hey op. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. You deserve happiness.

Are you drinking two bottles of wine every night?

If you are, please do not go cold turkey on it. Go to your GP and talk to him or her, because you don't want to risk dangerous levels of withdrawal.

I think that's the very first thing you should do, before even focusing on anything else.

Ursus Horribilis

Got to agree with Penny. I think you're in denial about your wine drinking. There's roughly between 8 and eleven units of alcohol in a bottle of wine, depending on its ABV. You're downing two bottles a night. This means that you're exceeding the weekly recommended alcohol intake for a man in one sitting. The fact that you're able to get up and go to work after that shows how high a tolerance to alcohol you've built up. There is such a thing as a functioning alcoholic and it sounds like you're one.

So yeah, definitely visit your GP as a starting point. It's also worth noting that alcohol is a depressant so drinking that much isn't going to help your mood either.

magicmushroom

The first change you have to make is the wine.
That is a huge amount to be drinking, if you think you can't go cold turkey then that means you have an addiction/dependency and a form of alcoholism.

Once you get rid of the wine, the weight loss should follow quite easily. Alcohol is terrible for your weight.
Alcohol is also terrible for depression so you should start feeling better (in time) without it in your life.

Most towns get involved in the 'Operation Transformation' each January, who not have a look around on Facebook or similar to see where the nearest one to you is.
You will be meeting with a group of people each week to jog and weigh in, that's a great way to socialise with other like minded people.
And to get you out of the house, away from the TV, away from your current habits.

And finally, do up your CV and get looking at the job websites.
Email recruitment agencies. No one can make these changes but you, so get started today.

SeaBreezes

Hey OP,
Your not alone, my New Years Resolution is to eat healthily and quit the alcohol for Jan anyway.
See the new us this time next year :-)

Pawwed Rig

Focus on number 2 and the rest will follow. You need to get out of a rut. Going from your lifestyle to a healthy one is a huge jump. You need moderate goals which are achievable. Be careful about being one of the many who join gyms at this time of year all hell for leather and then never visit from Feb on.

We have a thread in The Gentlemen's club where we outline goals for the year and update at regular intervals. Feel free to join in on that.