Strangers / small things making a difference in your life

whatismyname

This is inspired by Humans of Dublin on facebook.

I regularly read the Humans of Dublin posts and there's many posts which are quite insightful and / or touching, but there's something about this post in particular that really struck a chord with me.

"The turning point of my life was a young girl in 1999 walking by with her boyfriend at Christchurch on New Year’s Eve. It was lashing rain and I was sitting on some concrete steps with my long hair and beard, listening to the bells, wondering where my family were and how they were.

Out of nowhere the young girl kneeld down in front of me, and like an angel with her blue eyes, said 'Hi! What’s your name?’ I had to think. Nobody calls you by your name on the streets. 'It’s Glenn,' I told her, and she asked ‘What would make you happy Glenn?’ I said 'I’m okay, I’m happy. I'm in a brave phrase. Thanks for asking.’

She went back to her boyfriend and got some cans from him and a pack of cigarettes and handed them to me. Then she asked again 'If you could have one wish what would it be?' I told her I wished to be with my family. 'So why don't you go home?' She asked. I said no, that it’d been too long - three and half years. And she said 'Just go!' Just like that. This girl in her late twenties being the wisest person in the world. Then she gave me a kiss on the cheek and wished me a happy New Year.

She's out there somewhere not knowing what she did that day. You can make a difference in someone's life that you might never meet again. You have the power. The best thing you can take from this world is the belief that you made a difference. I went home the next day."

Glenn – Actor, Writer, Director and the Ambassador of Dublin Simon Community.

I'm wondering if anyone else has similar stories to tell of strangers making a really positive impact on their lives.

Or even if it wasn't a stranger in your life, just the 'little' things that people have done that made a difference to you.

I've no stories of strangers springing out for me, but I do know that there are several people in my life who have no idea quite what a difference they've made in my life when I needed it most, and that it was usually just through the little things. Or things that seemed little to them. Believing in me. Seeing the good in me when others were seeing the bad. Little kind gestures when I was at my lowest which meant the world to me.

One recent one that springs out is that I was in hospital and hadn't told many people. Near the end of my stay I text a friend who I didn't know very well (although I would still consider her a good friend) and hadn't been in touch with recently, but my gut instinct was that they were a good person to tell. When they heard I was in hospital they came and visited the next day and were wonderful. I was discharged a few days later and they came and collected me from hospital, took me out for my tea on the way home, and then presented me with some shopping they'd done for me - bread, cheese, milk etc, a 'big bottle of diet coke cos I know you don't take tea or coffee' and some chocolate.

I was so touched that they'd taken the time to go and buy this stuff for me. It wasn't about the money they spent, but just knowing how hard it was going home to an empty flat after a while in hospital and that they'd put the thought, time and effort into doing that so that going home could be that wee bit easier for me.

That's the most recent example from me, but I thought the Humans of Dublin story above was lovely, as I think we really can underestimate quite what a difference little things can make in others lives.

So what are your stories of either strangers or people in your life doing little things that made a big difference in your life?

whatismyname

Also, not meaning to be super cheesy here or anything, but thinking about it, we are all mostly strangers here on Boards, yet we still have a big potential to make a really positive on strangers here, and I can think of at least a few cases where a stranger on here has impacted positively on my life without them really realising it.

eviltwin

Years ago I worked on a crisis phone line. I was in one night on my own covering the evening shift. It had been dead and then the phone rang. There was a little old lady on the other end and she asked me if I'd heard about one of the clerical sex abuse reports that had just been released that day. It wasn't really in our remit to talk to these kinds of callers but it was late, I was bored and she needed to talk so I decided to go with it.

I told her I was familiar with the report and prepared myself for her to tell her story but all she said was 'my name is x, I'm in my eighties and I'm dying of cancer. I was raped by my parish priest when I was seven. I've never told anyone but I didn't want to go to my grave without someone knowing what happened to me. Thank you for listening. Goodbye'

She hung up the phone. I have never forgotten that woman and she serves as a constant reminder that we never know what other people may have endured. Its made me more patient. It's years ago so she's probably passed on and I often wonder if she ever told her family. I'm hugely humbled that I was the one she told and feel privileged that I was working that shift. I hope she died peacefully knowing her suffering was acknowledged.

I went through a very difficult period in my life about four years. There was a lot of loss all at once. I was involved in some group work at the time. At the end I was all stirred up and was just getting myself together before heading home.

I dreaded that drive home. The lonely emptiness of it. Walking through town surrounded by people going about their night and me with an ache in my belly.

Anyway the facilitator of the group noticed me and she came over and had a bit of a chat. I completely broke down and she held me and just let me cry. It was the first time during that period where I felt cared for. I will never forget her kindness and compassion to me that night. It was quite amazing really because "friends" I had known for years only managed to stare blankly when I got upset.

As I get older I understand more and more the value of kindness and how much a simple act can mean to another person. If we just loved each other a little more and weren't so scared of showing vulnerability or indeed experiencing it in others then life might be a little easier, a little lighter. Contentment would burn inside instead of loneliness.

whatismyname

Deleted User wrote: »

If we just loved each other a little more and weren't so scared of showing vulnerability or indeed experiencing it in others then life might be a little easier, a little lighter. Contentment would burn inside instead of loneliness.

This so, so much.

whatismyname

eviltwin wrote: »

Years ago I worked on a crisis phone line. I was in one night on my own covering the evening shift. It had been dead and then the phone rang. There was a little old lady on the other end and she asked me if I'd heard about one of the clerical sex abuse reports that had just been released that day. It wasn't really in our remit to talk to these kinds of callers but it was late, I was bored and she needed to talk so I decided to go with it.

I told her I was familiar with the report and prepared myself for her to tell her story but all she said was 'my name is x, I'm in my eighties and I'm dying of cancer. I was raped by my parish priest when I was seven. I've never told anyone but I didn't want to go to my grave without someone knowing what happened to me. Thank you for listening. Goodbye'

She hung up the phone. I have never forgotten that woman and she serves as a constant reminder that we never know what other people may have endured. Its made me more patient. It's years ago so she's probably passed on and I often wonder if she ever told her family. I'm hugely humbled that I was the one she told and feel privileged that I was working that shift. I hope she died peacefully knowing her suffering was acknowledged.

That's heartbreaking. As someone who found it so important to be open about my trauma and the sexual abuse I experienced I can't even imagine what it must have been like to live to her 80s keeping that to herself and the pain that that must have brought.

I'm so, so glad though that you were able to be there for her, and hope that telling you brought even a little relief for her.

whatismyname

I'm surprised there's not more stories forthcoming. Not sure how we should interpret that

chillin117

Chatting to a guy at a bus stop on Christmas eve. About 5 yards away he spotted 20 euro on the ground. When he picked it up he reached into his pocket and gave me 10 euro. Better to share the luck he said as he jumped on the bus...Nice

nullzero

whatismyname wrote: »

Also, not meaning to be super cheesy here or anything, but thinking about it, we are all mostly strangers here on Boards, yet we still have a big potential to make a really positive on strangers here, and I can think of at least a few cases where a stranger on here has impacted positively on my life without them really realising it.

On the other side of that, I was a member of a now defunct forum years ago where a member took their own life after detailing their intentions to do so on the forum. Despite the pleas from other members this person committed suicide. There aren't always happy endings but you do see positive things happen on boards.ie and it shouldn't be taken for granted.

Azalea

Years ago I was walking through town feeling miserable over having my heart broken. Standard stuff - nothing like some of the horrific things others here have experienced, but nonetheless, it had me in a bad place, but I thought I was hiding it.

This homeless auld fella I'd see around a lot came up to me and said "Are you OK love? There's such a sadness in your eyes."

It amazed me that someone who had such a difficult life could spot an inner sadness in a warmly dressed, healthy person. That moment gave me massive perspective and immediately I started to feel better. I couldn't believe the kindness of that man. I said "I'm fine, thanks" and truly meant it.

Rubberlegs

I had not long lost my Dad, and I was feeling really low. Everything seemed to be going wrong, and to top it all I could not get the hang of opening the petrol cap on my car. Dad would have been the go to person for any problems like that. I was at the supermarket, and knew I'd have to go to the garage to get petrol. I dreaded pulling up at the pump, and making a fool of myself, not being able to open it, so I decided I'd have a go at it in the supermarket car park. A man, a bit younger than my Dad appeared at my side and asked was I OK. When I told him the problem, he talked me through it, and stood with me to watch me as I did it myself a few times as my Dad would have done. A small thing, not life changing, but I have never forgotten it

cassid

On last baby, had a really bad birth. Baby and I ended up in intensive care. When I came round, I called for my hubby and I think I must have reached out to hold his hand, he was not allowed in. But someone reached out and held my hand. My eyes were still closed so I have no idea who it was I was holding hands with. I heard my consultant say, we got him breathing and he is with your husband is in the NICU, so I knew the baby was in good hands. That person still held my hand. I drifted off sleep, and heard a whisper, you are ok now, your husband is here and the person let go and I felt my husbands hand. 6 years later I still remember that person holding my hand, the touch of another human when I needed it most. I never found out who that person was, but I was able to fundraise for the nicu which was my way of giving back

whatismyname

Right people, you're officially breaking me here!

house45

What a truly wonderful thread, I've tears running down my face.

eviltwin

I always remember kindness, the woman who gave me two euros so my son could use a ride on toy, the man who ran a mile with me when I was really struggling during a half marathon, Tony from the Samaritans who took a call from me when I was in a bad place, the woman on the bus who told the young inexperienced mother I was with a screaming baby that i was doing a great job.

Stuff like that is priceless and the best thing is it costs us nothing to do but can make such a difference to how someone else feels. If everyone could be a little more kind the world would be a better place.

Chain Smoker

whenever I'm asked for directions and I'm free, I take the person to wherever instead and help them out with whatever on the way. Bet there's a few people out there thinking I'm amazing when I actually am just so awful at giving directions that I'd rather waste an hour of my day than try giving them.

Trekker09

I was in a restaurant in London when I received the phone call telling my me eldest sister had died. The stranger next to me saw my expression, asked me was I OK. When I told him he just gave me a hug, told me to get going and he'd take care of my bill. I've never forgotten this and it meant so much at the time.

whatismyname

New Year's Eve I was struggling a bit emotionally. I experience problems with my mental health, and what was going on in my head was probably somewhat more than your average New Year's Eve emotional stuff.

I was going about my day doing stuff that I needed to get done in town, but emotions were building, things were getting too much. I then walked into the main part of town and discovered that there was a mini funfair in town. There was too much noise, people etc, it really was all getting too much.

But I had to go in to Boots to get a prescription. This Boots tends to have very long queues generally for the pharmacy but it was the one I had to go in to. When I walked in I discovered a queue even longer than normal, probably due to it being due to close for New Years.

I queued for ages to give in my prescription, and when I got to the top of the queue the pharmacist said it'd take roughly half an hour. I asked when I came back in half an hour, if I'd have to stand queuing again if the queue was as long and she said yes.

I felt stuck. The emotions were escalating, and I felt close to a meltdown. I so badly wanted to get home and be safe but I needed the medication. I really didn't want to have to go outside where the noise and crowds were getting to me. I also didn't want to sit and wait for half an hour, but I decided that sitting and trying to ground myself was the best option.

The seats were just beside the queuing area, and a few minutes later as I was sitting there, clearly looking somewhat distressed, this little girl who was queuing with an adult said 'Excuse me Miss, are you ok?' She couldn't have been any more than about eight years old.

There was something so lovely about the fact that this little girl, among all the adults, had noticed my distress. It was such a busy day, and I know kids can be very perceptive, but I felt so touched that this little girl had asked me if I was ok.

I, of course, told her that I was fine.

I did go on to get more distressed and was clearly crying in the middle of boots, although not hysterically or anything. No one else commented or anything, and funnily enough my prescription was ready very quickly (max ten minutes, rather than the half hour stated - although I think they may have been saying half an hour to everyone to be on the safe side).

I went home and half quite a meltdown as it had all gotten too much, but in amongst it all this little girl and her asking if I was ok did make a lovely positive difference to me.

gothic_doll

I have a few of these. People can be very kind.

I had a return ticket from Dublin to Navan, but they don't apply to the weekend service after midnight. I'd been out with my friends drinking and just had a wallet of change, so I couldn't afford a new ticket home, but I still had my return ticket. I ask the driver to let me on and he refuses, but a security/supervisor guy at Busaras was chatting to someone else working there and saw.

The coach drives off and the security/supervisor guy talks to me and I say what happened.
He says he's contacted the driver and told him to wait for me, he will give me a lift down to the next stop and I can get on the coach, that they should make exceptions in some cases, he says he wouldn't want his daughter to be stuck like that.

So he gives me a lift down to the next stop on O'Connell st, the coach is waiting, he speaks to the guy and I'm on my way home.

I count the change in my wallet the next day sober and realise I did have enough after all. But I was very impressed by the kindness he showed then, and I would have been stuck for the whole night otherwise.

I'm a novice at bicycles. I buy a new bicycle (now passed onto a second owner) and manage to have the chain come loose early on in my first cycle of it and I'm a bit stuck as I'm near a main road.
So I'm a doofus and stuck on the side of the road trying to fix it. A guy stops his car (on his way to see his girlfriend) and helps me put the chain back on (after some googling as neither of us knew how to do it haha). And I cycle on. He didn't need to do that at all and I found that very kind.

A lovely woman on my course who supported me throughout and helped me on the difficult assignments, even though she had her hands full with a young boy and her own coursework to do!

My housemates and colleagues who bought me presents and birthday cakes when I was on my own in the country for it.

The taxi driver who chatted to me about movies and recommended a great one to me (Arsenic and Old Lace) and wouldn't accept my tip!

The removal driver who gave me a great bargain price on a last-minute apartment/room move from Cork to Dublin, was very helpful, we left early in the morning and you could see the sunrise over the hills and chatted to me about my life on the way there.


A girl I worked with but didn't know very well, once we spent a day travelling around London, finding someone who worked in a particular pub etc, with not much information, to try and track down what happened to her cat she gave away a while before. He turned out to be alright.
The same girl making me a tea and watching Singing In The Rain and ordering a pizza in for us, when I was over at her house the next day after a work night out.

The guy I didn't know very well, but we used to do Karaoke in London every two weeks for a good part of the year, in this tiny bar until it closed down. Just karaoke, nothing else, didn't know much about him.

The colleagues who knew I was getting bullied in a job and the manager who let me transfer to his branch, no questions asked.

Any strangers or colleagues I've met who've gone out of their way to listen to me, or to help me, with nothing to gain from it.

worded

People who help with no agenda

shakencat

ill be following this thread:)