moving into boyfriends house....

deise64

Hi all, I'm looking for a bit of advice...ill be moving into my boyfriend's part of the house next year and I'm not sure how to approach it.Should I be paying rent?I'm a Secondary school teacher and he is a dairy farmer,I'd want to pay my way...any advice or suggestions?much appreciated

The Sun King

I pay rent and food. She pays bills and any outstanding food. Easy.

bloominballix

What do you mean by your boyfriend's "part" of the house? Does he own the house or does he live with his parents?

athtrasna

Part of the house? Is it a shared house? If so are the other residents ok with you moving in

deise64

bloominballix wrote: »

What do you mean by your boyfriend's "part" of the house? Does he own the house or does he live with his parents?

Its a farmhouse,he lives on one side and his parents on the other part.

dudara

@keeponhurling - I've deleted your post as it was completely below standard for this forum. Please take the time to read the forum charter before posting again.

dudara

sReq | uTeK

deise64 wrote: »

Its a farmhouse,he lives on one side and his parents on the other part.

Personally from a male point of view I'd be wanting to contribute if I was in your shoes. If you're living together I think it should be 50/50 unless of course you're on a meagre wage and your OH earns substantially more then I think a discussion of what's reasonable needs to be had. However if both earn the same and all bills are reasonable and doesn't leave either of you wanting 50/50 is my view. You'd be paying half of you were married and I assume this is the trial run for that so best to start as you mean to go on.

How long are you together?

deise64

sReq | uTeK wrote: »

Personally from a male point of view I'd be wanting to contribute if I was in your shoes. If you're living together I think it should be 50/50 unless of course you're on a meagre wage and your OH earns substantially more then I think a discussion of what's reasonable needs to be had. However if both earn the same and all bills are reasonable and ödoesn't leave either of you wanting 50/50 is my view. You'd be paying half of you were married and I assume this is the trial run for that so best to start as you mean to go on.

How long are you together?[/quote

Oh absolutely I definitely want to contribute.it's his house so there isn't rent to be paid or a mortgage and that's why I'm eager to pay my share.we are together 2 and a bit years,would I need to givea lump sum or just contribute to Bill's,food maintenance etc?I'm.just not sure how it works when it's not my house

Addle

What does your boyfriend suggest?

Does the house have 1 esb meter, heating system, refuse collection etc?

The Sun King

Don't bother with lump sum. Pay half, if that's the agreement, as it's convenient to do so. Otherwise, take on roughly half of the expenses yourself. Pay 100% of Internet, electricity and bins. He pays 100% of heating, food. Or however is even.

mfceiling

Here's a really simple suggestion. Ask him!!

deise64

Addle wrote: »

What does your boyfriend suggest?

Does the house have 1 esb meter, heating system, refuse collection etc?

It's has 2 meters,separate heating refuse etc it's all separate

Stheno

deise64 wrote: »

It's has 2 meters,separate heating refuse etc it's all separate

Just pay half of all bills then?

And ask if he expects you to pay rent.

sReq | uTeK

deise64 wrote: »

sReq | uTeK wrote: »

Personally from a male point of view I'd be wanting to contribute if I was in your shoes. If you're living together I think it should be 50/50 unless of course you're on a meagre wage and your OH earns substantially more then I think a discussion of what's reasonable needs to be had. However if both earn the same and all bills are reasonable and ödoesn't leave either of you wanting 50/50 is my view. You'd be paying half of you were married and I assume this is the trial run for that so best to start as you mean to go on.

How long are you together?[/quote

Oh absolutely I definitely want to contribute.it's his house so there isn't rent to be paid or a mortgage and that's why I'm eager to pay my share.we are together 2 and a bit years,would I need to givea lump sum or just contribute to Bill's,food maintenance etc?I'm.just not sure how it works when it's not my house

Okay...you're 2 and a half years together that's a long time.....just ask him this is something that should be a very simple question with a very simple response.

I wouldn't be putting in any lump sum. This is a trial period for me a split of utilities and bills with perhaps a gesture of a small supplement to a joint savings account that can be used if and when you please to treat yourselves or plan the big day or just dip into for emergencies.

That's just my 2 cent here. By small I'd say 1/2 or 1/3rd of what you currently pay in rent. This will still leave with you additional funds come to end of the month.

deise64

Thanks for all the advice....I will ask him only I want to make sure I'm doing my part too and contributing my fair share...

A couple living together is a commitment. Both partners absolutely must contribute to the running of the house and bills. Now each couple will have their own ways of doing this depending on who earns more. When two people decide to take this step surely they are able to sit down together and talk about how the finances will work?

deise64

Oh yep I fully agree and intend on doing so very soon I just wanted a bit of advice first about it was all

cactusgal

Hi Op, I moved into my boyfriend's house recently, which he owns. I pay (nearly) half of the mortgage, one of the bills, and half of the groceries.
Just ask him, it's an important conversation to have. I was with my boyfriend for just over 2 years when we moved in.
Enjoy!! It's such an exciting time in a relationship I've been living with my guy for 4 months now and couldn't be happier

PsychoSue

If he owns the house outright then I don't see why you should pay rent to him.
All bills and expenses defo down the middle and as already suggested with the money you save on rent maybe consider setting up a joint savings account that you both equally contribute to as a prep for any future plans...

CaraMay

Yeah why would you pay rent? Set up an account for bills groceries and savings and let you both put an amount into it. Any money unused can be used for holidays etc.

tara73

definetely ask him what he thinks. the joint account, where everybody puts in x amount a month is a good idea, I think.
Because, the house could be inherited with now mortgage or rent to pay, but there are always some repairs on a house, smaller or bigger you can't foresee and I wouldn't feel good let him pay for every maintenance of the house, especially when you earn your own money and you said you do.

Neyite

Mod:

Hi OP, since you've closed your account, I'll assume you got what you needed from your thread, so I'll close it. All the best for the big move!