The dreaded work Christmas party mistake

LegacyUser

I fell into the work Christmas party trap. I had too much to drink, got chatting to a coworker and we ended up sleeping together. She was as drunk as me, and I don't even remember how we got to the point where we went home together. It is very unlike me, and I regret it, but there's no going back now.

There are a couple of problems I have with this, if the first one is not obvious. Firstly, we work together in a small office and we see each other every day. I don't know how I should deal with it. Should I just pretend like it never happened? Talk to her face to face sometime about it? I don't intend on starting any relationship with her, but I don't want it to be awkward either!

Secondly, the morning after it happened, I innocently asked her how she did not have a boyfriend and she replied "it's complicated" and I left it at that. A few days later I decided to text her to apologise for getting so drunk, then she told me that she is back with her boyfriend and to please not mention what happened to anyone (which I never even considered). I am getting the feeling she was lying to me and cheated on her boyfriend with me, and I feel really bad about it.

I had no idea, and hate the fact that I might be "that guy" that ruined a relationship. Is there anything I should do, or do I just leave it alone? I do think that it's none of my business, but I also feel that I've been unknowingly dragged into some scandal or something.

Thanks.

Matteroffact

You do not want a relationship with her so she has let you off the hook nicely. Ignore what happened and do not mention it to anyone, and certainly not her. Forget about it.

gothic_doll

Work Christmas party shag means essentially zilch. Nothing to worry about on your part, if she eventually tells her boyfriend (if she has one) about it, he's not going to go after you if he has any sense.

If he contacts you eventually, say you thought she was single, it was a one off and you aren't even friends - he should be happy with that.

As it stands, just pretend like nothing happened as the first reply states

LegacyUser

Matteroffact wrote: »

You do not want a relationship with her so she has let you off the hook nicely. Ignore what happened and do not mention it to anyone, and certainly not her. Forget about it.

gothic_doll wrote: »

Work Christmas party shag means essentially zilch. Nothing to worry about on your part, if she eventually tells her boyfriend (if she has one) about it, he's not going to go after you if he has any sense.

If he contacts you eventually, say you thought she was single, it was a one off and you aren't even friends - he should be happy with that.

As it stands, just pretend like nothing happened as the first reply states

Thanks. I've probably said too much to her already by texting her after the fact . I'm a bit clueless when it comes to these kind of things!

shamrock2004

foolishjack wrote: »

I fell into the work Christmas party trap. I had too much to drink, got chatting to a coworker and we ended up sleeping together. She was as drunk as me, and I don't even remember how we got to the point where we went home together. It is very unlike me, and I regret it, but there's no going back now.

There are a couple of problems I have with this, if the first one is not obvious. Firstly, we work together in a small office and we see each other every day. I don't know how I should deal with it. Should I just pretend like it never happened? Talk to her face to face sometime about it? I don't intend on starting any relationship with her, but I don't want it to be awkward either!

Secondly, the morning after it happened, I innocently asked her how she did not have a boyfriend and she replied "it's complicated" and I left it at that. A few days later I decided to text her to apologise for getting so drunk, then she told me that she is back with her boyfriend and to please not mention what happened to anyone (which I never even considered). I am getting the feeling she was lying to me and cheated on her boyfriend with me, and I feel really bad about it.

I had no idea, and hate the fact that I might be "that guy" that ruined a relationship. Is there anything I should do, or do I just leave it alone? I do think that it's none of my business, but I also feel that I've been unknowingly dragged into some scandal or something.

Thanks.

Forget about it. It happens a lot. Chalk it up to the demon drink and move on. I've been there. Eventually you will forget about it. And get this idea of ruining a relationship out of your head. If she was cognisant enough to be able to label her relationship as 'complicated' after doing the dirty deed, to me that means that she regrets what she did and has unfinished business with her partner. Let her deal with any fallout.

Wompa1

You dodged a bullet! Don't worry about it.

I would guess the complicated likely meant she was in a relationship but didn't want to say that she was and now she's in cover her @ss mode. That's nothing on you, though. That's her mess to deal with.

LegacyUser

foolishjack wrote: »

Thanks. I've probably said too much to her already by texting her after the fact . I'm a bit clueless when it comes to these kind of things!

No harm texting after. Since you have to work with her I recommend tackling the awkwardness head on and straight away. A text & brief chat to show you care that she is ok will go a long way. At the same time be crystal clear that it isnt going to go anywhere. Air cleared, move on and never mention it again. Happens way more often than you think

CaraMay

Do not talk to her about her feelings! Just act normal. Ask her how her Xmas went and move on after that.

Rachiee

Don't worry about it act like it never happened talk as normal about normal things how was Christmas? Did you watch such and such etc.

mada82

You did nothing wrong.

Just act like it never happened. It sounds like that's what she wants too.