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10 year anniversary but seperated

  • 27-12-2015 9:05pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Tomorrow I would be 10 years married. However I separated from her officially in October but marriage was well over before that. We have 2 children together so obviously stay in touch and currently get on grand.

    A big part of me feels I should acknowledge the day that it is tomorrow and was just wondering what I should say if anything. It was thinking a simple text but not fully sure what to say???

    Any advice


Comments

  • #2
    pgj2015
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,719 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    Do not contact her about the "10 year anniversary" or mark it in any way, you did not make it to ten years and it was over long before the 10 year mark so why would you text her about it? I think she would find it really weird why you would text her about your joint failed marriage.


  • #3
    Lisha
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,696 ✭✭✭Lisha


    'Well, I'm sure we never thought things would finish like this, but hopefully, we will keep things as smooth as possible for the children. It's a pity it ended, but I'll never say I'm sorry it started'

    Edited to add:
    Unless you can say the above totally honestly don't send text.
    Unless you didn't totally break her heart don't send it
    Unless you were not totally in wrong don't send it
    If you think sending the above could give her false hope thinking ye could patch things up don't send it.
    If you think she has moved in don't send it

    Possibly best to do as other posters said and don't send anything at all


  • #4
    Confucius say
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 418 ✭✭Confucius say


    Don't do it, it was a failed marriage.


  • #5
    Dial Hard
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,238 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    Don't acknowledge it at all. You're not together, simple as.


  • #6
    Fluffy Cat 88
    Closed Accounts Posts: 338 ✭✭Fluffy Cat 88


    So you'd be 10 years married if ye were still married.

    But ye are not married anymore, so ye aren't 10 years married.

    So the best thing to do - imo - nothing.


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  • #7
    bluetomato
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 42 ✭bluetomato


    Hi Anniversary, none of us know the dynamics of your relationship with your ex now or if she would appreciate if you acknowledged it or not so we can't really advise you on that.

    But even if you decide not to mention it to her and feel the need to acknowledge it yourself to mourn the loss even then go ahead and take the time to be kind to yourself on the day.

    It's easier for a woman feeling the loss to say to their friends that they're upset about the upcoming day and to get support from them but men will often put on a brave face or feel like they've no one to talk to about it...so if you want to acknowledge it for you then do.


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