Met a girl and...

LegacyUser

Hi all. So I met someone about 9 days ago while out with a friend. We hit it off right away and I ended up staying with her that night and for most of the following day. She seemed really into me, kept telling me how "hot" I was etc and talking about meeting up again. I fancied her too and felt we had a connection, and the sex was good. Anyway I've tried to arrange a second meeting and it's proving kind of hard. Like I asked her on Xmas eve if she was free tonight (Sunday) and she said she may be but wont know until probably yesterday as she didn't know if she would have to look after her kid that night or not (she has a 13 year old), and that she'd let me know.
Anyway it's now Sunday afternoon and I've heard nothing since Xmas eve.

I shouldn't really care that much but I guess I don't click with people that often and we seemed to have a lot in common. I never even thought I'd want to get with a girl who had a kid but she was just so cool. I know there could be anything going on in her life and she owes me nothing but what do I do now? Just leave it to her to get in touch if she wants? I'm going away for a few days on Monday and I would have liked to have seen her before then.

37 now and the complexities of man woman relationships never cease to confuse me...

The Randy Riverbeast

It's Christmas, she will probably reply when she gets a chance so wouldn't worry too much.

Sunflower 27

She knows you are interested, she has a child and It's Christmas so people are generally busy. I think I'd make other plans, OP. Maybe she can join you out later if she gets out.

Only time will tell if you are both on the same page, so don't sweat it too much.

LegacyUser

Tbh I don't even want to go out tonight I overdid it over Xmas of course. The comedown from too much booze has probably weakened my mental state and I'm fretting over why she hasn't let me know about to tonight! You can't win them all though I guess, I'll just get on with things. Her loss really!

Ash.J.Williams

Relax....its Xmas and she has a kid....patience

Rachiee

Christmas is such a busy time I wouldn't take it ti mean she's not interested why don't you text her tomorrow saying I hope you had a great Christmas, I'm away for a few days would love to meet up when I'm back. Then you can judge by her response.

retro:electro

Fuzzy-Dunlop wrote: »

Tbh I don't even want to go out tonight I overdid it over Xmas of course. The comedown from too much booze has probably weakened my mental state and I'm fretting over why she hasn't let me know about to tonight! You can't win them all though I guess, I'll just get on with things. Her loss really!

Her loss? Give the woman a break! Ye met 9 days ago, she has a child and it's Christmas. You seem way too intense. She may have forgotten about tonight or she may not have the time to let you know yet, maybe she still doesn't know herself. Chill out will you.

LegacyUser

anna080 wrote: »

Her loss? Give the woman a break! Ye met 9 days ago, she has a child and it's Christmas. You seem way too intense. She may have forgotten about tonight or she may not have the time to let you know yet, maybe she still doesn't know herself. Chill out will you.

Way too intense? Yeah, I'm really hounding the hell out of her. Cheers, happy new year.

Matteroffact

It was 9 days since you had this fantastic date so what happened between then and Christmas Eve. ? Were you in touch with her or has there been a large gap since ? That could make a difference to her response .

LegacyUser

Matteroffact wrote: »

It was 9 days since you had this fantastic date so what happened between then and Christmas Eve. ? Were you in touch with her or has there been a large gap since ? That could make a difference to her response .

No it was the weekend before Xmas. A few messages here and there. Anyway at this stage I can take it nothing is happening tonight. I think she originally hinted at seeing me before I go away so I thought I might hear from her regarding tonight. Maybe I'm psycho and intense but I would have thought taking a minute to message someone wouldn't be hard to do, regardless of Christmas or having a kid. My mate has 3 and left my place at 3am last night! I've made other plans now anyway, thanks guys.

Tasden

Seriously, at Christmas time no matter how much I wanted to I wouldn't be able to make plans with anybody. And if a guy I liked started getting as intense as you only just after meeting and expecting me to fit him in over Christmas- one of the busiest times of year for most parents let alone a single parent- saying it's my loss if i don't, I would be turned right off.

Tigger99

I think people are being a bit hard on the OP. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has over thought things when someone doesn't seem that interested in another date/is very busy. The only difference is that I wasn't on here asking advice. I've been intense but not let on to the other person. Maybe the OP is the same?

She knows you are interested. You've asked her out again . Leave it until you come back then maybe text her to see about meeting up.

retro:electro

Fuzzy-dunlop wrote: »

Way too intense? Yeah, I'm really hounding the hell out of her. Cheers, happy new year.

Well your attitude stinks so maybe she has sussed your passive aggression. Same to yourself.

Tasden

Fuzzy-dunlop wrote: »

No it was the weekend before Xmas. A few messages here and there. Anyway at this stage I can take it nothing is happening tonight. I think she originally hinted at seeing me before I go away so I thought I might hear from her regarding tonight. Maybe I'm psycho and intense but I would have thought taking a minute to message someone wouldn't be hard to do, regardless of Christmas or having a kid. My mate has 3 and left my place at 3am last night! I've made other plans now anyway, thanks guys.

Is your mate a single parent? Even if they are they obviously have a reliable babysitter if they're able to stay out til 3am around christmas time. This woman's circumstances may be very different to your friend's. Maybe she just thought they were casual "wait and see" type plans that she wasn't being held to. Considering ye only met it wouldn't surprise me if she didn't feel she had to "cancel" or anything, just if she happened to be free she'd let you know.

Just as an aside, if you're already saying "my friend has kids and they can do so and so" I don't think dating someone with a child is for you. Every family is different and being a single parent is pretty tough, especially if the person you're dating doesn't understand your limitations.

LegacyUser

In case anyone cares she got in touch last night apologising and said she had hit it pretty hard the night before till morning and was dying in bed all day and do I want to meet when I get back. She shares custody btw and hadn't had the kid since Xmas day. You guys are so sound thanks for all the kind replies!

lelo100

Fuzzy-dunlop wrote: »

No it was the weekend before Xmas. A few messages here and there. Anyway at this stage I can take it nothing is happening tonight. I think she originally hinted at seeing me before I go away so I thought I might hear from her regarding tonight. Maybe I'm psycho and intense but I would have thought taking a minute to message someone wouldn't be hard to do, regardless of Christmas or having a kid. My mate has 3 and left my place at 3am last night! I've made other plans now anyway, thanks guys.

Jeez If I were that girl id be waiting for you to text me about meeting up. Why didn't you text her earlier and ask her was she still up for meeting. It's better to be up front. She can only say no. And a least if she does say no you at least know where u stand.

StanleyOllie

You should text her again. She will have concerns about meeting someone who wont play her. She has responsibilities and that takes her time up. Thats the joys of meeting someone with a child. The child will come first. Im sure she has been through it before... where someone hasnt stayed with her because of the limited time she has available to her. If you didnt even text since Christmas eve to say hi, she will presume you lost interest. So text and say hello and take it from there. Keep up some contact to show you are interested.

eviltwin

While it's great she's been in touch and things are progressing it's worth listening to the advice above and chilling out a bit. As a parent, especially a single parent, she's not going to be in a position to be available whenever you want. This is something you're going to have to accept and make allowances for.

Sinall

Agree with eviltwin - great that she's been in touch! It can definitely be a nerve-wracking time when you like someone and you're waiting. Add in the hectic nature of Christmas and things can get a bit confused.

However it's worth having a think about your tone and attitude so you're aware of how you come across. If someone doesn't come back to you immediately it doesn't mean they've gone off you/their loss/in case anyone cares etc etc! Just watch the passive-aggressive stuff because that can be very off putting.

LegacyUser

Right so heard nothing since last Monday so I can forget about that one. Her loss!!
In other news I met a lovely 29 year old with no kids while I was away and we slept together and will be meeting up next weekend. So now I've found someone better looking and more fun to get intense and passive aggressive and intense on!!