Really Need Advice.

jamie124

Hi There,
So basically I am posting here for some advice that I really need.
I am 17 and I am certain that I am gay - (Attracted to GUYS only)
I have told my Parents and a close cousin of mine and they took it fine (which is a blessing to be honest) as I was so worried!.
BUT...
I think I should tell my Family , I feel really scared and anxious to be honest and my head is in a mess thinking about all of it, I just don't know what to do...
I looked up a few helpful videos on Youtube on "Coming Out" - It's just a huge deal for me... I am really upset and annoyed that I can't be myself....

As you can guess I am still in Secondary School in my final year and my god I can't wait to get out - People can be really homophobic in School especially and it really bloody hurts...

So, If anyone has any tips or stories of their own please feel free to share them as I really need help right now.

Thank you all so much in advance.

mr.anonymous

You've done brilliantly to be out to your parents at 17. The rest will happen eventually.

School isn't a nice environment and I was glad to leave but it's important to focus on your studies then get out.

Ten of Swords

Congratulations on telling your parents, hard part is over (mostly)! Parents and best friend are usually the key milestones. Do your friends know?

If your parents are OK with it then the rest of your family will fall into place over time. If you have any siblings start with them, if not then decide which family members you want to tell based on their relationship to you (cousins, grandparents etc) and just go for it and tell them- be blunt!

As for school, yeah it's a ѕhitty environment most of the time and people say some dumb things. Are you being bullied, homophobic or otherwise? If you are don't suffer it in silence.

jamie124

As for school, yeah it's a ѕhitty environment most of the time and people say some dumb things. Are you being bullied, homophobic or otherwise? If you are don't suffer it in silence.[/QUOTE]

Well to be honest, I was bullied the WHOLE WAY through from 1st year to 5th year and also got harassed last year , I still get the odd few comments and sarcastic looks and gestures but it's not as bad as last year , I reported it to my year head and is was sorted so Its all okay now Thank God.
Thanks for your reply :-)

Banbha32

Hey Jamie! A massive congratulations to you!!! its an amazing feeling. I only came out myself at the end of the summer at 28 so for you to come out at 17 is so admirable and shows a lot of maturity and courage. Well done. I guess as others have said focus on your studies and when youre done the world is your oyster. Post school life and like Uni etc is a whole different area anyway. People are so liberal and LGBT friendly you've a great life ahead of you being out so young. Sorry to hear about being harassed in school, hopefully it isnt so bad now i think as you move into 5th and 6th year people are a bit more mature so hopefully it will get better again like it has started to.

Regards telling your family. I personally wanted my friends and family to know all in one go because i just wanted it to be over and done with and forgotten about so its just done. But i didnt want to repeat myself either or feel i have to come out to everyone myself. So i came out to my parents and siblings and then chose a few cousins on my dads side and let them know they can spread the word for me to that side and then visited my nan on my mums side who im close with and told her she can tell all them and it was great and easy and worked well for me. The hardest step is accepting it yourself and then telling the first person and you have done both of them things so thats great you're almst there!

Well done again and have a great 2016!

jamie124

Banbha32 wrote: »

Hey Jamie! A massive congratulations to you!!! its an amazing feeling. I only came out myself at the end of the summer at 28 so for you to come out at 17 is so admirable and shows a lot of maturity and courage. Well done. I guess as others have said focus on your studies and when youre done the world is your oyster. Post school life and like Uni etc is a whole different area anyway. People are so liberal and LGBT friendly you've a great life ahead of you being out so young. Sorry to hear about being harassed in school, hopefully it isnt so bad now i think as you move into 5th and 6th year people are a bit more mature so hopefully it will get better again like it has started to.

Regards telling your family. I personally wanted my friends and family to know all in one go because i just wanted it to be over and done with and forgotten about so its just done. But i didnt want to repeat myself either or feel i have to come out to everyone myself. So i came out to my parents and siblings and then chose a few cousins on my dads side and let them know they can spread the word for me to that side and then visited my nan on my mums side who im close with and told her she can tell all them and it was great and easy and worked well for me. The hardest step is accepting it yourself and then telling the first person and you have done both of them things so thats great you're almst there!

Well done again and have a great 2016!

Thank you so much!! - You are amazing x

markc2951

If your gay at that age people tend to know your gay so telling them maybe only confirming what they already thought..

You have told your parents already. This is one of the hardest steps MANY gay people take. And you _already_ have it out of the way.

And a cousin too. So you have some support and some networking going on already.

Perhaps put sex and sexuality aside for awhile then and concentrate on the exams? As you identified yourself school can be very homophobic. So can college and the real world. But often less so. So concentrate on the hurdles directly before you and get over them. And worry about the sexuality later.

Annasopra

markc2951 wrote: »

If your gay at that age people tend to know your gay so telling them maybe only confirming what they already thought..

some do, some don't - very difficult to generalise like that

jamie124

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

some do, some don't - very difficult to generalise like that

Have to agree here , Well of course SOME of my Family suspect it and others well... you wouldn't believe the amount of people that think i'm STRAIGHT!.

mdudy

markc2951 wrote: »

If your gay at that age people tend to know your gay so telling them maybe only confirming what they already thought..

That's a silly statement. Everyone and every situation is different. I came out at 17; a huge surprise to everyone bar me.

Also to OP, take your time, do it when you're ready, don't feel like you have to tell everyone you know, and it gets easier as time goes on as you begin to realise that it really doesn't matter and those that have a problem with it don't matter. And you've told your parents - that's the most difficult, congrats.

I would consider myself out, but yet I haven't told the majority of my family. Mainly because we don't live near them but them not knowing about that aspect of me, and assuming that I'm straight doesn't bother me, that's on them - don't let it define you (unless you want it to).