How does a cheating girlfriend act

xLANDRYNx

Can anyone tell me what could change when a girlfriend is cheating ?
And has anyone been cheated on ? (dont want to be rude)
I would like you all is to name things that could show that she is cheating .

topmanamillion

Ask are you cheating?

If she answers yes - you know.

If she answers no - she's either lying or you don't trust her. Neither one fills me with hope about the relationship.

CaraMay

You tell us why you are suspicious

amdublin

Why are you asking the question?

There is no one script for a cheating person.

Why not tell what you are going through and people can tell you if they relate to it.

dudara

@xLANDRYNx - what is your personal issue there? PI is not a chat forum, it is a forum which offers help on specific issues.

If there isn't a personal issue involved here, I will close the thread

dudara

xLANDRYNx

well i am just confused because she started to act weird . she started to avoid sex thats what got me wondering

racso1975

apart from sex how is everything?

armaghlad

I was cheated on.

Tell tale signs that raised my suspicions all involved subtle changes in her behaviour. Behaving a lot nicer towards me all of sudden was one. Another was not asking me out one night, when ordinarily I would have been asked several times before giving in and accepting the invite. The biggest giveaway was her fb inbox though lol

Edit to say, a big giveaway is if she seems like she doesn't trust you. My ex didn't trust me and I was left having to convince her I was being faithful which I was. That's your queue to start exit procedures.

xLANDRYNx

Well, she is 2 years older than me, we had big plans on moving out after this summer because she will finish her 4 year course and get a job and i was going a one year course because i didn't do too well in my leaving cert , and then i just didnt finish the course because it just wasn't for me , and she just said she will move out alone but that i wont live with her because (she wont be paying for me ) After that she started to talk about carrer and said that yeah hope you will do something you like etc but then she kept saying that it just might not merge together. Another thing is that always when we've been texting she always was sending kissing faces and i just think she wanted me more than she does . Maybe its just me . I don't know ((( But i trust her . I really do and i love her to bits. But around my friendships there is a lot of fu*k boys and people cheating on each other ...

Ursus Horribilis

Your post is a bit hard to follow and somewhat incoherent. Am I interpreting this properly?

She's hoping to finish her 4 year course this year and start working this coming summer. You've dropped out of your course. She has rolled back on your plans to live together (?) because you're now doing nothing(?) and she doesn't want to pay for your upkeep. What does she mean by "it might not merge together"?

There are two ways of looking at this.
Scenario 1: Your girlfriend isn't happy with how your career is going. She did well in her leaving cert, got onto a 4 year course and is all set to start working as a graduate next year. She's going places. You, on the other hand, seem to have lost your way and aren't going anywhere. She might be annoyed that you've failed to live up to your side of the plan and resents that you can't move in together as she'd hoped.

Scenario 2: She has outgrown you. That 2 year gap you mentioned is a bigger thing to people in their late teens/early twenties than it is later on. She's gone on to college and is meeting people who are high achievers like her. She might not feel she has anything in common with you any more.

Have you tried to talk to her about this? Why are you so quick to assume she's cheating on you?

dissed doc

xLANDRYNx wrote: »

Can anyone tell me what could change when a girlfriend is cheating ?
And has anyone been cheated on ? (dont want to be rude)
I would like you all is to name things that could show that she is cheating .

Everything appearing completely normal can occur when your girlfriend is cheating.

Exclamation Marc

As someone who was cheated on, phone paranoia is the key thing I saw.

Very protective of their phone. Answering texts etc by ensuring the phone is turned away from you.

Obviously this only really is an indicator if they were previously open with their phone or not bothered by it.

Ursus Horribilis

Why are you so convinced it has to be cheating though? It could be simply a 21 year old woman out growing her 19 year old boyfriend and not feeling like they've as much in common any more.

xLANDRYNx

Odus fell down wrote: »

Your post is a bit hard to follow and somewhat incoherent. Am I interpreting this properly?

She's hoping to finish her 4 year course this year and start working this coming summer. You've dropped out of your course. She has rolled back on your plans to live together (?) because you're now doing nothing(?) and she doesn't want to pay for your upkeep. What does she mean by "it might not merge together"?

There are two ways of looking at this.
Scenario 1: Your girlfriend isn't happy with how your career is going. She did well in her leaving cert, got onto a 4 year course and is all set to start working as a graduate next year. She's going places. You, on the other hand, seem to have lost your way and aren't going anywhere. She might be annoyed that you've failed to live up to your side of the plan and resents that you can't move in together as she'd hoped.

Scenario 2: She has outgrown you. That 2 year gap you mentioned is a bigger thing to people in their late teens/early twenties than it is later on. She's gone on to college and is meeting people who are high achievers like her. She might not feel she has anything in common with you any more.

Have you tried to talk to her about this? Why are you so quick to assume she's cheating on you?

Yes you understood it right . Thanks for your help . Now i feel stupid because she tries to help me and find ways to do something i really like , i really do feel stupid i was just so worried because i got some issues (a bit of social anxiety which im improving myself )

xLANDRYNx

from me it was very bad to assume that i just have a low belief in myself because i dont know what to do i have a few ideas.:( it was bad i put her from that side I realised how bad i am to say that .

armaghlad

Manufactured Miracle wrote: »

As someone who was cheated on, phone paranoia is the key thing I saw.

Very protective of their phone. Answering texts etc by ensuring the phone is turned away from you.

Obviously this only really is an indicator if they were previously open with their phone or not bothered by it.

Forgot to mention this. If the phone is left out screen down, say as you're watching TV, that is another tell tale sign.

Fitz*

I was cheated on.

Big change in time we spent in the bedroom. Not wanting to go out as much as just a couple. She worked different times to me & a reluctance to spend the little time we had as a couple and more in a large group were the big things I noticed.

i confronted her on it and she said no, nothing was happening. 2 weeks later she did cheat on me & we broke up. She claimed nothing had happened before that night, something which I am still unsure of whether to believe or not. I asked her as I knew she had cheated on previous boyfriends. Confronting her was kind of the beginning of the end really i think.

Wulfie

Try taking the occasional photo of her. You will see in the eyes her level of contempt .

I spent over 18yrs with my ex. She would never lete photograph her. Of the few photos I have of her , the ones of her looking into the lens tell volumes.

She cheated and lied more than I will ever know. The cruelest was bringing 2 men home with her and her friend, after drinking with them all day and night. I just walked out, but came back . That was almost exactly 9 months before my youngest of 3 sons was born. She says that was all back in her alcoholicing days.

The crap a man will endure, just to sleep under the same roof as his kids.

Voltex

Wulfie wrote: »

Try taking the occasional photo of her. You will see in the eyes her level of contempt .

I spent over 18yrs with my ex. She would never lete photograph her. Of the few photos I have of her , the ones of her looking into the lens tell volumes.

She cheated and lied more than I will ever know. The cruelest was bringing 2 men home with her and her friend, after drinking with them all day and night. I just walked out, but came back . That was almost exactly 9 months before my youngest of 3 sons was born. She says that was all back in her alcoholicing days.

The crap a man will endure, just to sleep under the same roof as his kids.

That's pretty nasty. What did the two guys do when they walked in and saw you? Did your ex introduce who you were?

I've never been cheated on..but I know (*used to*) a girl who cheated on the husband. Its was almost unbearable the lies she told to try and convince her friends that what she was doing could be justified. In the end her husband left, she now has a part time relationship with a guy who has 3 kids for 2 other women (hence the part time relationship) who can barely keep a job, most of her friends wont have anything to do with her new boy friend and she is being bled dry though solicitors fees and trying to manage on her own with her kids.

xLANDRYNx

I don't understand why people in relationships cheat on eachother like one of the points of the relationship is to be loyal... why cant they just break up hoping everything is gonna be ok ? . It wont be . The truth will come out itself just keep your eyes open and watch .

Ursus Horribilis

So have you spoken to your girlfriend?

xLANDRYNx

well yeah i have and it doesn't seem like anything has occured . We are evan going for a holiday in January which is very cool )