just struggling. need to express.

manonboard

Myself and my partner split yesterday. Im just struggling. Im really feeling vunerable.
Thought we had a good relationship. She had a problem n didnt communicate it to me. Just made distance. We broke up about 8 weeks ago. She started seeing someone recently. She never cheated like. Ive no doubts about that.
Im feeling lost. She was my best friend. I offered her the things she said were missing. It was a big change to offer. Seems it wasnt fast enough tho.
It just hurts alot. Took an anxiety tab so my heads calming down. Early hours. Nobody awake to reach out to.
She was a cracker of a person. Really great like. Was proud to be dating her. Thought we made a great team.

Terrible timing. Will miss her kids dearly.

I tried my very best every step of the way. I really tried like.

Thanks for listening.

Gremlinertia

Hugs for you, timing is indeed very rough. The one thing i will say is to mind and be nice to yourself, it's far too easy to fall to neglect, everything from showering to eating regularly and fairly well..<SNIP>

dudara

@Gremlinertia - please note that offering PMs is expressly against the Personal Issues forum charter. We have good reason for doing so and ask that you respect this.

dudara

Rubberchikken

Op sorry to read that. It's never easy to break up and christmas time just makes bad things feel even worse.
Go easy on yourself fir the next while. Try to get some exercise/fresh air. If you have anyone to chat with and feel the need, give them a shout.
Take care

manonboard

Really struggling. Just need to write somewhere. Get it out of me.
Every day is really hard. I just feel like if we could talk properly for a bit, it would fix things. Reading that sounds like such bull**** to my eyes.

Im a ****ing mess and mood is changing every 5 minutes.

I must be giving off such a desperate vibe to her. Its embarrassing. I am trying not to be shameful of needing help.

Im just lost. Thats all. I usually know what to do.

I didnt do anything wrong. I thought i did all the right things.

I spent the christmas eve night with her and her family, putting the kids to bed, giving them thier baths, thier new pyjamas.
The little girl told me she loved me.
It was the first time.

Im just hurting. Thats all.

Trying my best.

Sunflower 27

Hi OP

I am sorry you are going through this. Heartbreak is truly horrendous sometimes and it can feel like the pain will never end.

I was where you are about 4 years ago now and still remember the pain I felt.

It isn't about you doing something wrong. For whatever reason the relationship was not right for her. Leaving is her right and choice.that choice was always out of your hands.

It is 100% normal to feel down, lost, uncertain of the future. But know that this will pass. You will meet other people in time. The wound won't always be so raw.

I can happily say I met someone new two years ago and this relationship is far healthier and better than my former one. There is simply no comparison.

Take time out to grieve, but know your heart will heal and life goes on.... Full of wonderful new people and opportunities.

Hang in there, it will get easier.

Confucius say

Confused threads sorry

manonboard

Doing much better yesterday and today.

Like the storm has passed. It had been a very long time since i felt that low. Wow.

Im giving myself a few days of retreat and relaxation before questioning where my mental/emotional skills failed so badly. Its extremely unlike me.

Just to let everyone know. I feel sooo much better. I was able to get to that stage of letting go that I needed.
Of course, sadness, pain blah blah remain. but its not intense, theres only a little fear, and theres very little anxiety.
The anxiety just overwhelmed me from morning to night for weeks. I was going insane. Obsessed.

Im eating solid food again, and ill keep increasing the amount until it gets back to normal. I was barely scrapping 300Kcal a day for the last few weeks. Vomiting too.

I didn't take any anxiety medication today either, didnt feel the need for it. Delighted about that. It was my first time to ever use it so i was not happy about it. It was a complete saver though. It allowed me some respite hours each day.

I feel so much better, and my meditation is practice is restarting too.

Thanks for everyones support. It was a really dark time. Little gestures made a big difference.

Thanks again..

njs030

I'm a bit confused, your first post says you split up 8 weeks ago and also a few days ago.
You go on to say she met someone else but you put her kids to bee on Christmas eve. Were you still part of her life while she was with someone else?

It sounds messy and complicated, I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time at this time of year.

manonboard

notjustsweet wrote: »

I'm a bit confused, your first post says you split up 8 weeks ago and also a few days ago.
You go on to say she met someone else but you put her kids to bee on Christmas eve. Were you still part of her life while she was with someone else?

It sounds messy and complicated, I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time at this time of year.

Hi there,
Thanks for the sympathy. Im feeling much better today. It was like a horrible storm passed yesterday when I was practising a type of letting go meditation.
Like the desire finally dropped, and what is was accepted.

Just to answer your questions since you took the time to ask them.
We split up 8 weeks ago, but we were still seeing each other often (no sex, but plenty of hugging). It was a pretty great break up, I didnt have any anger or resentment about it. Though I didnt want to break up.
Breaking up from a serious relationship tends to be a process rather than a moment in my opinion. This was really messed because it came out of no where. Not a single conversation before hand. I understand now why, In truth, I don't think she gets why it really happened.
When i said a few days ago, it was when she decided we were not going to reconcile.

Yes we were all together on Christmas eve. I love her children. I've been part care giver to them if that makes sense. I wanted to see them on Christmas eve night. Give them my presents etc. There was never any hate/shame/emotional violence in our dynamic. It was a beautiful and fun if a little sad night.

Yes I've been part of her life whilst she is now dating someone else. Didnt think she'd date someone sooooo quick after we split.. and certainly not until after we both accepted there was no reconciliation.

That part was extremely hard, but I'll take my space now and take better care of myself. I wish her the best, and im sure we will still be friends. I like being friends with my serious exes (just one other). Doesnt suit me to hold grudges. I think I just pushed myself too hard too soon on this, and was met with far more difficult circumstances than i anticipated.