Unsure of my feelings.

LegacyUser

Hi all just looking for some general advice.

I've been with my wife (now) 13yrs married for 2. Like every relationship we had are up and downs and after the birth of our child 5 years ago my wife became very distant towards me her behaviour was distant and i suspected something was going on. I found out that she was texting another man but swore blind nothing happened. Fast forward things settled down and although i was hurt i stayed for my child.
We rebuilt are relationship and for 2 yrs everything was great until i did the same thing she did to me. I met a girl through work and we both hit it off in a real big way for 3 months solid we talked talked and talked to one and other and it stayed like this until she left the company we worked for. She started seeing a lad and fast forward a couple of years she had a child with him . We probably didn't talk for a couple of months only odd text here and there she was after having a kid and i felt the last thing she needed was me annoying her and so all settled down i got married she had her kid.

Things have taken a change again myself and my wife have been having troubles (possibly before we got married) i just feel we have nothing in common any more and she has agreed that alls not rosey i think we both want different things out of life.

I've really tried to make a go of things but i just feel where more friends than couple. As complicated as things where this OP rang me out of the blue one day and things have hit it off again she's since split from her partner and we have been chatting texting and what not.

And although we haven't met since we worked together and have never kissed only a parting hug when she left the company there is still massive chemistry between us. Recently are text went as far as admitting there was feeling and an attraction there. I'm still young (low 30's) and have been with my wife since i was 18-19 so at times i feel i never got the freedom to live my life the way i wanted to see the world experience's new things and had fully planned on until my partner told us we were expecting.

I've so far think I've stayed with my wife for my son I've tried make it work for my son but I'm not sure where to go from here although i like this other girl i have no plans of committing to another relationship if things do go bad for me and my wife. She has told me to stay with my wife and make ago of it which i have been doing long before she arrived back on the scene but i feel like I'm fighting a loosing battle. At times i get the feeling id like to be single again just so i can live life for me instead of keeping everyone else happy my wife can be quite needy at the best of times and has been known to guilt me out of doing things. I was rather unhappy for a while and i decided to go see a guidance councillor which I've really enjoyed but in doing so found out my profession didn't suit me and i was quite unhappy with home life. I had fully planned on changing work hoping it might help home life but i cant hide my feelings toward this other girl yet i don't want another relationship if me and my wife do part its not just a sexual attraction between me and the other girl there is genuine feeling's but I'm wondering is it cause she shows me the attention i crave for that my wife is unable to offer me and has never really offered me. Anyhow thanks for reading...

heretochat

You need to take this other girl out of the equation as you could be dazzled by the "grass is always greener" syndrome.

You need to concentrate solely on your wife and child and decide what you want from life without reflecting on this third wheel.

I would suggest cutting all contact with this other girl for now and ocncentrate on the reasons why you are unhappy in your marriage.

Ann84

You need to finish your marriage... Separate and THEN start dating once the dust has settled!!!

Fine, your unhappy, your wife is unhappy... What is stopping ye from splitting up then?

LegacyUser

What exactly is the question? You have obviously both made up your minds at this stage. Both of you need to get on with your lives,seperated