Paying Friend's Bill

LegacyUser

Hi all,

silly situation and it's awkward...

My friend was in a bad way a few months ago and was broke, homeless etc. Two of us from the gang decided to get him involved in a course on Mindfulness as he was banging on about it and would do him good. The course was 6 months long (every two weeks, around 40 quid a month). We set him up with the centre in June and I told him the first two months were on me (thinking the other months would be on my other mates, which failed to happen).

Regardless, I get a receipt in the door for the last 6 month's worth of fees. My friend a) stopped going to the courese after the first week and b) forgot to delink my bank details from him online registration. The direct debit was taken out yesterday from my account (thank F for overdrafts)

What do I do? My friend should have de-registered properly but was in a rough place and is broke now and doubt he can afford to pay me back. Do I just forget about it and let him off?

Thanks guys

R.D. aka MR.D

I think you've learned a very costly lesson here.

You told the guy that the first two months were on you, did you know he had dropped out? Did you not think about what was happening in August?

If he doesn't have the money to pay you, he doesn't have the money regardless of the moral rights or wrongs. That's why I'm saying you've learned an expensive lesson.

You did a good thing for a friend in need and you're an extremely supportive friend. There's not much you can do about the money now, I'm afraid. Tell the friend that it is all paid for and that you'd like them to try to go to more. Don't be aggressive, because it might put them off going entirely.

And if they come to you for more advice/money, just tell them no.

LegacyUser

Step way back and chalk it up to experience.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be.
You cannot fix your friend's lives, they have to do that for themselves.
You can go after him for the money if you want but the signs aren't great so you may just have to write it off.Don't be in such a hurry to get involved in other people's problems in future.I know you were trying to be nice and help, but being a shoulder to cry on is often as far as you need to go with that stuff.

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

Koptain Liverpool

It may be worth going to have a chat to the course providers and explaining the situation. Although its unlikely, they may have sympathy for you and reduce the debt

smarty_mcfly

Not much hope of getting anything back in this situation - sounds like you're a good guy for wanting to help your friend so I would recommend chalking it up to experience and moving on. Wouldn't go mentioning it to your friend either (maybe just factor it into consideration the next time you're considering helping him out financially)

Sunny Dayz

OP have you not been talking to your friend in the last 6 months? Did you not think to ask him how the course was going? Were you not chatting to the rest of your friends who were going to fund the balance of the course, did none of them query about when they were going to contribute at the time.
TBH I don't think there's much you can do. Stop the direct debit with immediate effect.

orthsquel

On the money side, tbh there's not much point in telling him about it. He won't have the money to repay you and I suppose telling him just means adding an extra stress or something he might feel guilty about. Just make sure you cancel the direct debit. Maybe do see if you can get some sort of a refund from whoever was doing the course.

But I'd chalk it up to experience... I think you have learned a valuable lesson. In your eyes you might have been doing a great thing, I do think it was a nice gesture to try and get your friend into something that they seemed to have interest in but for whatever reason they didn't continue with it. I think for your own protection in the future, with this friend or others, that if you're going to help them out in a similar way where you are contributing - financially or otherwise - be sure that it's something that they really do want to do, or are able and in the right frame of mind to do especially when it's something you are organising without being asked by the person it is for (in the sense something you do off your own bat, or something you suggest to them to do, rather than something they come to you asking for help with). I think too never assume that others will chip in their share if they agree to, or would want to commit money to something that they haven't agreed on.

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I know, I'm just going to chalk it up to experience and move on!

Thanks for all the replies. Won't be using my CC ever again!

Thanks and Happy Xmas

Lux23

Could you maybe request a chargeback at the bank? Worth a try?

TimeToShine

Money and friends, oil and water unfortunately.

No good can come of this, as above chalk it down as a lesson

WheatenBriar

Lux23 wrote: »

Could you maybe request a chargeback at the bank? Worth a try?

Under EU sepa rules yes,direct debits can be claimed back within 30 days
OP go into your bank, next working day and ask for that debit to be refunded -End of

You will get your money back but hurry and do it inside 30 days
Be clear to the bank that under sepa direct debit rules you want the debit refunded

See below for boi,but it works in all banks,you actually have 8 weeks to do it,so do it!

http://www.boards.ie/ttfthread/2057151518

amdublin

Are you sure it was a direct debit set up and not a standing order?


A standing order you can cancel yourself...


https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/direct-debits-and-standing-orders#the-difference-between-direct-debits-and-standing-orders

dotsman

Lux23 wrote: »

Could you maybe request a chargeback at the bank? Worth a try?

WheatenBriar wrote: »

Under EU sepa rules yes,direct debits can be claimed back within 30 days
OP go into your bank, next working day and ask for that debit to be refunded -End of

You will get your money back but hurry and do it inside 30 days
Be clear to the bank that under sepa direct debit rules you want the debit refunded

See below for boi,but it works in all banks,you actually have 8 weeks to do it,so do it!

http://www.boards.ie/ttfthread/2057151518

The purpose of a chargeback is fraud or dispute. Even if you were successful in the chargeback, your friend would still owe the institute, and would likely spend the next year getting letters of demand from them and possibly legal proceedings. That would hardly be the desired result from what was originally a well-intended offer to help from a good friend.