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Upset over breakup or Afraid of loneliness

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  • 13-12-2015 8:36pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me today, things had been fizzling out slightly recently. We weren't making enough time for each other and using being too busy with college as an excuse. Basically I am confused as to how I feel, when he brought it up he said we were drifting apart and would it be better to end it now rather than drag it out and I agreed. I did or do, I'm not quite sure, care for him but I definitely don't feel the spark that was there at the beginning.

    Basically the break up happened suddenly and rather abruptly even though both of us were clearly having doubts for a little while. This meant that I didn't really have time to tell him how I felt and I just kind of agreed. I know you are supposed to cut contact and all that so as it's as easy as possible to move on. But I am quite upset and am tempted to send him a text just explaining how I feel, that the 4 months were a lot of fun and things ended so quickly today that I'm left feeling a bit lost.

    But I'm also worried that this is just me scared of being alone and wanting 'someone' rather than him. I do care about him but I don't know if it's in the right way...

    I've only ever broken up with someone once before and it was because I was cheated on so it was me doing the dumping so it was fairly straightforward albeit painful. This just feels so horrible and like I'm at a loss.

    Sorry if this is quite incoherent and all over the place but any advice would be hugely hugely appreciated. Thank you.


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    #2
    pgj2015
    Registered Users Posts: 8,948 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    hi op, sorry to hear about your troubles, we have all been there before. I would contact your friends now instead of your ex, they will keep you company and take your mind off your ex. also block your ex on all social media etc and his number, any pictures you have of him. good luck :)


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    #3
    Hemerodrome
    Closed Accounts Posts: 160 ✭✭Hemerodrome


    I'm not suggesting your pain is not real, but I think you're losing perspective here. Phrases like "fizzling out" and "drifting apart" don't apply to a 4 month relationship. At 4 months you're dating and this dating didn't work out. That hurts, but it shouldn't hurt so much that you go through a crisis about your whole understanding of relationships, particularly as, I'm guessing, you're young enough. Keep busy, keep positive, spend time with good people, don't contact him and in a few weeks you'll smile 'coz you had the good times instead of crying that they're over.


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