Driving test

thelad95

Taking it for the third time tomorrow, any tips both serious and light hearted from the good people of AH will be appreciated.

Lights On

Few pints before hand to clam the nerves!

kneemos

Short skirt.

Gatling

Lipstick

jamesbere

S**t yourself, driving instructor will just want you out of the car and will pass you.

thelad95

Lights On wrote: »

Few pints before hand to clam the nerves!

Goes without saying. Should I offer the tester a can upon commencement of the theory part of the exam.

The Backwards Man

Make sure your nuts are tight.

I went left and a roundabout in mine and my driver's side wheel went straight on.

PARlance

Ten thousand....STERLING

Hande hoche!

Know your licence plate number.

Lights On

thelad95 wrote: »

Goes without saying. Should I offer the tester a can upon commencement of the theory part of the exam.

Seeing as it's a bit of a formal affair I'd go with a naggin of vodka instead, touch of class will go a long way!

The King of Moo

Wear dangly earrings and wear your hair in a ponytail so the instructor notices when you check your mirrors.

I'd advise you to know the model of car you take the test in, but that didn't matter for me.

maudgonner

Be careful pulling out of the test centre, especially if there's a busy footpath at the exit. Doesn't make a good first impression to nearly run someone over when you've just started.

Also, if it's a rainy day, have your aircon/heater/demister set up before you reach the test centre. Nothing worse than trying to sort out fogged up windows when you're under pressure.


And since this is AH, make sure those windows are steamed up for a good reason...

diomed

Be polite and businesslike. No small talk. No attempt at humour.

basillarkin

do a lesson right before you're test, it helped me anyway.

cantdecide

Stop trying to pass the test and just pass the test. Works every time.

xzanti

Be confident. They don't want to hear "Em"

Know your road signs and under the bonnet like the back of your hand. It'll get you off to a good start if the first bit goes well. You'll feel more confident getting behind the wheel.

Don't rush your manoeuvres, let each instruction sit for a few seconds before your go to execute them. it's not a race.

Mirror, signal, mirror, manoeuvre.. don't lose sight of that. It's your holy grail.

Best of luck.

Hammer89

Say your uncle was Martin Cahill and he'll assume you have connections.

Son Of A Vidic

thelad95 wrote: »

Taking it for the third time tomorrow, any tips both serious and light hearted from the good people of AH will be appreciated.

Take the test naked and the instructor should be more than happy to rush through the formalities with you.

Turtyturd

There's only so many mistakes you can make so if you don't do what you did the first few times you should almost pass by default.

Son Of A Vidic

If the tester is female, open the passenger door for her and give her a firm smack across the ass when she goes to get in. She'll be so flattered you'll pass with flying colours.

If the tester is male, open the passenger door for him and give him a firm boot between the gonads when he goes to get it. This induces what is known as the Bishop Brennan effect, he will remember nothing and he will sign whatever you want.

Specialun

Put dance tunes on the radio..dont lower it down either. If the instructor cant take ya as the way you are then he cant take ya atal

asherbassad

Don't wear a hoodie, sports apparel and trainers.

Don't...when the instructor sits into the vehicle, say " 'Story, Bud, y'all ready for dis?" whilst cranking up the tunes.

Other than that just drive like a stick in the mud on Sunday and don't talk to the fecker.

No tips just ..

Good luck! You can do it!

NiallBoo

Chill,
All they're really testing is to see that you're not a compete Muppet.
But even the best of us turn into Muppets when we over-think things.

thelad95

I passed everybody the six pack of Dutch gold I gave the tester at the start really helped I think

wilhelm roentgen

Lights On wrote: »

Few pints before hand to clam the nerves!

No alcohol for me....

I did my test whilst high on acid, and passed with flying colours.

Specialun

thelad95 wrote: »

I passed everybody the six pack of Dutch gold I gave the tester at the start really helped I think

Did ya have to give him a blowie

thelad95

Specialun wrote: »

Did ya have to give him a blowie

It looked that way at one stage when I forgot to check mirrors when turning left but a simple handjob did the trick

R.D. aka MR.D

Relax and drive like you do everyday.

My instructor was a bit of a pedantic cow and she really stressed me out during the lesson that I took right before the test. About 5 mins into the test, I hit the kerb while reversing and was like '**** it, i've failed, might not waste my time.' I flew through the rest of the test and didn't give a second thought to all the 'mirrors every xyz seconds' and blah blah blah. I just flew on like I did most days on my way to work.

Passed. First time, too!

The tester said, oh you thought you failed when you hit the kerb but I could see that you're a competent driver otherwise.

Sir Osis of Liver.

Practice your driving skills on GTA all weekend.
Can't fail.

The_Valeyard

Shout 'alu akbar' each time to approach a red light or intersection as loud as you can.

biko

Remember to brake, not break.