Infatuated by actress

LegacyUser

Hi
Going anonymous for this one because frankly I'm so embarrassed about it, I can't even talk
to my close friends about it.

I'm 36 and am married with 2 great kids, I'm very happy with family life, but lately I find myself
thinking about this actress (not mentioning her as I don't want to make this thread about her - like
guys saying "ah yeah I understand, she's a stunner etc .. " that will derail things) a lot , like shes
really occupying my mind, I'm thinking about her a lot - its so embarrasing I think the last time I
was infatuated with a celebrity was Cindy Crawford when I was 14 !!

The thing is , I KNOW this fantasy is unrealistic, I know an imagined relationship would never be that way,
as I have some idea of this person in my mind, and that will be miles from the truth - in fact I´d probably not
really get on with her from what I know of her - so why do I still keep fantasizing about her ?

I was wondering was this some sort of midlife crisis where I'm looking for a fling or just to admire other
women, but it's not that I live in a city full of gorgeous women and it never bothers me.

Also maybe I miss my youth , but doesn't make much sense since this actress is also close to my own age.

The main thing thats worrying me is that this will go on and on for weeks/months
I don't like feeling this way, it´s pointless and I may as well be dreaming about a fictional character,
because that what she is in my mind, my interpretation of her is FICTIONAL!!

See, I´m trying to convince myself.


It´s been on my mind for about 3-4 days now, funny thing is I watched a couple of films with her in them
week before last and I didn't mind, it was like a delayed reaction.

pfff ... that feels better.

silverharp

I can't relate I'm afraid, I kind of pride myself on knowing nothing about any particular actress so apart from thinking they look pretty , or their character on screen is impressive that is as much bandwith as they take up in my head. I guess a question is , do you go out of your way to find out about them? If so maybe avoid looking up bios or interviews they have done. When it comes to it, its all media image and therefore fake, you can't possibly know who they are as individuals.
And if there isn't more to it than mental boredom try and refocus, you have kids and there are a lot of social and other issues that will affect them in the future ,use your spare " bandwith" on these kind of things and treat entertainment as the chewing gum for the eyes that it is.

bilbot79

We all dream. The young guy in you never dies even if the life around you changes. The fantasy is an outlet for the dreams you can no longer realise because you have finally set out your stall. If it works continue by all means. Just make sure you are in full acceptance if your real situation, sometimes I need to reason it out myself

I think it is somewhat OK to have fantasies about other people, whether they be fictional, famous, or otherwise. Everyone has them in their passing days. However the issues would arise when said fantasies take over your life and it's all you can think about.

How is the rest of your life? What is your marriage like? Are you feeling lacking in any part of your personal, married, work, or sexual life? I would wonder whether your fantastical notions, which are taking up so much of your life, are a symptom of something you're unconsciously feeling that you're lacking.

Rubberchikken

fantasies are no harm, especially about actresses that most people will never meet. harmless way to pass a boring moment imo.
but look at your life as it is. is your family life happy/fulfilled? how are things with your wife? maybe life's gotten a bit boring. happens to us all. day-to-day routine becomes the norm and can eat away at a person.
hope you can figure things out. take care

lazza14

OK, appears I can´t post anonymously anymore ... whatever ...

I guess a question is , do you go out of your way to find out about them? If so maybe avoid looking up bios or interviews they have done. When it comes to it, its all media image and therefore fake, you can't possibly know who they are as individuals.

Hi,
No no I don't go out of the way at all, I did the other night out of curiosity about another film and was related, spent less then 10 minutes looking at stuff about her,
I agree the image is fake - completely.

1. I think it is somewhat OK to have fantasies about other people, whether they be fictional, famous, or otherwise. Everyone has them in their passing days. However the issues would arise when said fantasies take over your life and it's all you can think about.

2. How is the rest of your life? What is your marriage like? Are you feeling lacking in any part of your personal, married, work, or sexual life? I would wonder whether your fantastical notions, which are taking up so much of your life, are a symptom of something you're unconsciously feeling that you're lacking.

1- Agreed, and its not that bad, just at night it takes me a long time to fall asleep (always has - this is nothing new) so my mind wanders when the rest of the house is sleeping.
but during the day it isn't on my mind as much (over the last day or two anyway - so this is an improvement)

2.- Great, but lately we are a little knackerd as the youngest is only 6 weeks old, so maybe lack of the physical side of things is creating this ?


Anyway, I was googling it and found some people who have it way worse, like constantly youtubing them or trying to bump into them by mistake - :O stalker territory,
I don't have it nearly as bad.

Pity there is some films I really like with her in them, I should avoid them in the next few weeks to be sure.

rtron

Is it Amy Adams I had the same issue with her - it passed after a while though. - Just my two cents

lazza14

hehe ... it's not actually, I didn't mention who it is cos I didn't want that to be the subject of the thread, more my own reasons for her being on my mind ...

Lux23

I can understand this, I used to have infatuations with actors, sports stars etc. I would have them about people I knew personally as well, but essentially it was pure escapism for me. It kept me going through the day. Now I'm in a happy relationship, have a fulfilling career so I don't think I need to escape anymore.

Would you feel the need to shut off from the hum drum of life? Do you need to mix things up a bit?

lazza14

Sure, it all makes sense, i think it was the stress over the last week .

Im grand now, thank **** it didn;t last long ..

in my research i came across this

http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/40244-unhealthy-obsession-with-a-celebrity-please-help/


:O !! holy f*ck, I did not have a problem ..