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What's the deal

  • 03-12-2015 8:20pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    We have decided to separate which is mutual and we will remain in same house as there is a small apartment attached which was used in the past by family member,one of us have been living there past 6 months and all is good kids can come and go into both dwellings freely which is great either go into other dwellings without notification which is agreed and working, ESB,GAS is all in one bill and have decided to keep it that way as we have 3 teenagers who will be using both places, We do talk in general so all good there, Now thinking of going to Meditation and have put names on list which is about 12 weeks which is fine, Question as we never in this position before what way does the money part go, one of us takes home about 750E and other about 550E .Both have always worked
    Is it a case that if we agree to keep cars we driving as close to same price that we look after all repairs,tax,insurance etc of the car we driving ,
    Also the Gas ,ESB does this just be split 50/50 or does the person earning more pay a bigger percentage ,kids uniforms,books etc is this 50/50 or does percentage come into ie one person pays 60% other 40%,
    Hope you understand the point I trying to make just want an idea of what is expected .
    Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    dudara
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,518 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    Moving this thread to separation & divorce as I think it suits it best.

    dudara


  • #3
    Ken.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,898 ✭✭✭✭Ken.


    There is no such thing as normal. Every case is different. What I'd advise you to do before the mediation is write down every out going you personally have. Is the ESB,gas etc split 50/50 or do one of ye pay it in full. Whatever you pay write it down. Food,phone bill/credit,tv(Sky,upc etc),clothing,petrol,money spent on the kids.

    If you were so inclined you could get your ex to do the same. The mediator would then help you come to an agreement.

    Were I in your situation and this is purely a personal opinion I'd be trying to go with 50/50 split on electricity/gas and on stuff for the kids till the last one finishes school/college. After that food,phone,car would be up to yourself.


  • #4
    Stheno
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 51,690 Mod ✭✭✭✭Stheno


    Meditation Time wrote: »
    We have decided to separate which is mutual and we will remain in same house as there is a small apartment attached which was used in the past by family member,one of us have been living there past 6 months and all is good kids can come and go into both dwellings freely which is great either go into other dwellings without notification which is agreed and working, ESB,GAS is all in one bill and have decided to keep it that way as we have 3 teenagers who will be using both places, We do talk in general so all good there, Now thinking of going to Meditation and have put names on list which is about 12 weeks which is fine, Question as we never in this position before what way does the money part go, one of us takes home about 750E and other about 550E .Both have always worked
    Is it a case that if we agree to keep cars we driving as close to same price that we look after all repairs,tax,insurance etc of the car we driving ,
    Also the Gas ,ESB does this just be split 50/50 or does the person earning more pay a bigger percentage ,kids uniforms,books etc is this 50/50 or does percentage come into ie one person pays 60% other 40%,
    Hope you understand the point I trying to make just want an idea of what is expected .
    Thanks
    ken wrote: »
    There is no such thing as normal. Every case is different. What I'd advise you to do before the mediation is write down every out going you personally have. Is the ESB,gas etc split 50/50 or do one of ye pay it in full. Whatever you pay write it down. Food,phone bill/credit,tv(Sky,upc etc),clothing,petrol,money spent on the kids.

    If you were so inclined you could get your ex to do the same. The mediator would then help you come to an agreement.

    Were I in your situation and this is purely a personal opinion I'd be trying to go with 50/50 split on electricity/gas and on stuff for the kids till the last one finishes school/college. After that food,phone,car would be up to yourself.

    Same opinion as Ken here, all of this stuff will be discussed at mediation. If you are getting on well enough, then you should discuss it in advance before you go to mediation which will help the mediator.

    Topics to consider:
    1. Shared expenses and how they will be split
    2. Parental responsibilities/childcare
    3. Splitting of any savings/seperating joint bank accounts
    4. Seperating of any pensions/pension adjustment orders (this will come at a later stage.

    Also one important thing to address is to ask your mediator (who may have to advise you to seek legal advise) is that if you both stay living in the same property, albeit seperated into a house with a granny flat/apartment, and the bills are left as they are, will that affect you being able to prove you lived seperately for the required time if the time comes where you seek to divorce?


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