umbrella lifted at work

Running Balance

Ok this seems a bit triibal but tonight when leaving work I noticed my Callaway golf umbrella has disappeared. I was one of the last to leave the office of 50 or so.
What you think is the best approach to get it back monday. Go in all guns blazing or softly softly approach.
Normally I won't care about something like this but it cost £50 and they are all stingy feckers.

moc moc a moc

Running Balance wrote: »

Go in all guns blazing

Definitely don't bring a gun (let alone guns plural) to your workplace, you will end up in prison. Also, thinking about shooting people over the theft of an umbrella is absolute insanity. Please speak to a mental health professional tomorrow morning, first thing.

Liam McPoyle

Running Balance wrote: »

Ok this seems a bit triibal but tonight when leaving work I noticed my Callaway golf umbrella has disappeared. I was one of the last to leave the office of 50 or so.
What you think is the best approach to get it back monday. Go in all guns blazing or softly softly approach.
Normally I won't care about something like this but it cost £50 and they are all stingy feckers.

Just do what any normal person would do.

Steal someone else's.

Ruu

Burn down the office building.

frag420

Get a hat

JRant

Well your first mistake was buying an umbrella in the first place. Everyone knows they're fair game once not actually in somebodies hand.

moc moc a moc

Ruu wrote: »

Burn down the office building.

Ah here, don't be giving him more mental ideas. We're still trying to coax him down from the gun rampage as it is.

DareGod

Running Balance wrote: »

Ok this seems a bit triibal but tonight when leaving work I noticed my Callaway golf umbrella has disappeared. I was one of the last to leave the office of 50 or so.
What you think is the best approach to get it back monday. Go in all guns blazing or softly softly approach.
Normally I won't care about something like this but it cost £50 and they are all stingy feckers.

Go in all guns blazing. Literally.

Failing that, report it left, right and centre. Why not?

dpofloinn

Sucks for you, but why wait till Monday walk about 50 yards from your place of work or to the nearest public bin to your workplace and you will find it crumpled up inside. It's fair windy out

Sir Osis of Liver.

€50 for an umbrella?

Who are you?
Mary fcukin Poppins.

Specialun

Send out an email to all. Call the bastard out

You then be known as the guy thats not to be fcuked with..

Badly Drunk Boy

JRant wrote: »

Well your first mistake was buying an umbrella in the first place. Everyone knows they're fair game once not actually in somebodies hand.

And paying €50 for one is ridiculous! Does it have wi-fi? And a fridge?


I hate umbrellas. And umbrellas hate tall people.

ThinkProgress

Just play the passive aggressive card... start eye balling everyone in the office. Shoulder barge in the hallway/toilet etc.

Then when you're dragged into the office for a chat about your "attitude problems", tell them the serious allegations you wish to make!

Tell them it's a "callaway"! Tell them you saved for months so you could look like all the other posh golfing twats. And now you feel naked and vulnerable without your swanky rain shield.

Junkyard Tom

Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that you won't like the weather
You won't have your Callaway umbrella
You won't have your Callaway umbrella-ella ella eh eh eh
No Callaway umbrella-ella ella eh eh eh
No Callaway umbrella-ella ella eh eh eh
No Callaway umbrella-ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh

MilesMorales1

Have you considered hiring Liam Neeson to use his unique set of skills to find it for you?

Mark Tapley

Leave your tartan golfing trousers in the same place you left your umbrella. Hopefully they will be stolen too. This will help to identify the thief .

Paddy Cow

Maybe someone took it to do a service for mankind. Golf umbrellas are a menace on the pavement and anyone who uses one is a gobsh!te. Seriously op, if you want to use an umbrella, get one for €5 from Penneys. If you lose it, its' no big deal. Save the Golf umbrellas for the gold course.

How on earth did you manage to lose something that cost €50? Someone else looking at it wouldn't think "this cost a lot so I'll leave it". They'll be thinking "I need an umbrella, oh look, there's one".

I cycle a lot and was sick of my hands getting freezing. So I splashed out on an expensive pair of waterproof gloves that cost €50. They were light and warm and waterproof and you can bet that after spending that much on them I never left them down somewhere where someone else could pick them up thinking they were just an easy pair of gloves to take.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Definitely report this on Monday.

pgj2015

would the thief have been caught on camera taking it?

Sir Osis of Liver.

Mesrine65

Modern office, 50+ employees...

Approach security on Monday morning, CCTV footage from the main reception/entrance would be available, get your time-frames agreed upon & let them scan/search for the event.

You can't own an umbrella. Umbrellas are communal.

Running Balance

Running Balance wrote: »

Ok this seems a bit triibal but tonight when leaving work I noticed my Callaway golf umbrella has disappeared. I was one of the last to leave the office of 50 or so.
What you think is the best approach to get it back monday. Go in all guns blazing or softly softly approach.
Normally I won't care about something like this but it cost £50 and they are all stingy feckers.

First thing Monday morning, demand the thief returns this valuable accessory. While waiting for this to happen, throw yourself on the floor and scweam and scweam until you make yourthelf thick. (I've a lisp) That should do the job.

jamesbere

I think once you find out who took it, don't confront them just stare at them all day, no matter where the person goes. Also keep saying "he stole my precious"

mattP

Wait until its in the basket again and then reclaim it

Hammer89

Ruu wrote: »

Burn down the office building.

Better yet, put a naked flame up to those ceiling sprinklers in case of a fire. The thief's natural reaction would be to grab his umbrella and that's how you catch him.

Senna

Is this not the perfect opportunity for a "lost" sign campaign around the whole office with pictures of the umbrella at landmarks through the world and an elaborate back story of how the umbrella was the dieing gift from the person you loved, their dieing wish was that you would use this umbrella on rainy days and remember the love you shared with them.

The Masculinist

Send an email around in a real passive aggressive guilt tripping way. "I normally wouldn't be sending an email around for an umbrella, but this has great sentimental value to me as it was given to me by my favorite uncle before he sadly passed away suddenly last year. Could I please get it back if anyone has it by mistake? Can't find it anywhere!"

BorneTobyWilde

Umbrella's are a free for all. If it's raining you grab one. They have little value in general.
Yours was expensive,but who knew.

The Masculinist

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

Umbrella's are a free for all. If it's raining you grab one. They have little value in general.
Yours was expensive,but who knew.

Still a ****ty thing to do, particularly considering the rightful owner would then get wet as a result.

knucklehead6

The Masculinist wrote: »

Still a ****ty thing to do, particularly considering the rightful owner would then get wet as a result.

Who cares about him? I was still dry when I got home, that's all that matters

ThinkProgress

Deleted User wrote: »

throw yourself on the floor and scweam and scweam until you make yourthelf thick. (I've a lisp) That should do the job.

Do your fingers have a lisp too? :pac:

biko

Get a **** 5 euro umbrella instead.

Whosthis

Could be worse, you could have had your shirt lifted at work.

NiallBoo

I'd just put up a note saying that you can't find your umbrella and if anyone has seen it to let you know. (maybe offer a reward? It's still cheaper than a new umbrella and you'll get more sympathy/generally be thought sound)

Don't make a huff about it, you're in the right but people will assume it's just a 3 euro Dunnes umbrella and you're just being a knob about it.

You should definitely put your name on the umbrella - they're left behind and lost so often that taking one feels like a victimless crime. If the person picking it up knows who it belongs to then it'll reinforce in their minds that they're definitely stealing and they'll be a lot less likely to take it.

ScottStorm

Senna wrote: »

Is this not the perfect opportunity for a "lost" sign campaign around the whole office with pictures of the umbrella at landmarks through the world and an elaborate back story of how the umbrella was the dieing gift from the person you loved, their dieing wish was that you would use this umbrella on rainy days and remember the love you shared with them.

^^^^^ this ^^^^^

I reckon it was probably someone in management, they knew the cost but where far more important than you, plus they can use it golfing.

biko

You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

indioblack

biko wrote: »

You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

The rain it raineth on the just
and also on the unjust fella.
But mostly on the just because
The unjust steals the justs umbrella.

Sand

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Maybe someone took it to do a service for mankind. Golf umbrellas are a menace on the pavement and anyone who uses one is a gobsh!te. Seriously op, if you want to use an umbrella, get one for €5 from Penneys. If you lose it, its' no big deal. Save the Golf umbrellas for the gold course.

It is when its bucketing down and your €5 toy umbrella is flipped and broken by a gust of wind and you are left to be soaked. Money well spent. Meanwhile your €50 umbrella keeps you dry.

hairyslug

Pick the weakest member of staff, beat 7 shades of sh1te out of them, then tell everyone that if your umbrella isn't returned, you'll best another 7 shades out of the same person again

NiallBoo

hairyslug wrote: »

Pick the weakest member of staff, beat 7 shades of sh1te out of them, then tell everyone that if your umbrella isn't returned, you'll best another 7 shades out of the same person again

Jesus Christ...is it an umbrella or a kilo of heroin?

51NN3R

Running Balance wrote: »

Ok this seems a bit triibal but tonight when leaving work I noticed my Callaway golf umbrella has disappeared. I was one of the last to leave the office of 50 or so.
What you think is the best approach to get it back monday. Go in all guns blazing or softly softly approach.
Normally I won't care about something like this but it cost £50 and they are all stingy feckers.

most places have cameras looking at or outside their doors, go find who has control of the camera room and check to see who took it, maybe it was the boss hehe, in which case it's probably a good idea to not say what was stolen.

corner of hells

Arrive naked and drunk in work on Monday morning , maybe superglue feathers to yourself .
After you've been tasered and subdued , what was a minor issue will now guarantee respect for you forever.

rubadub

Paddy Cow wrote: »

How on earth did you manage to lose something that cost €50? Someone else looking at it wouldn't think "this cost a lot so I'll leave it". They'll be thinking "I need an umbrella, oh look, there's one".

I was going to say the opposite, I reckon it would be obvious that it was expensive so someone nicking it is a proper thieving cunt and so most would not dare do it. In work you risk losing your job too.

Some view some theft as benign, nicking lighters, cheap umbrellas, a few pick n mix at the cinema -I do not condone any of those actions, but I expect most of the the cunts who would rob like that would not dare nick a 50 euro silver lighter, 50 euro golf umbrella, or a big 30 euro box of Leonidas chocolates.

I wonder if it was a 50 euro jacket would people shrug and say "should have bought one for a fiver in penneys"

EDIT I see now it was possibly £50, so 70 odd euro.