I somehow incorrectly told people i had a homosexual encounter in the past

zxcvbnm1

I suggested incorrectly to friends recently while out that i had a homosexual experimentation incident around 15 years ago.(it was very late in the night after much alcohol)

I didn't have any such occurrence - but I was trying to tell some other story which failed me due to the time of night. To cut a long story short there was a misunderstanding.

It was commented on at the time by them - but not overly so. And i completely failed to explain myself.
But nonetheless, its quite a statement. I'm assuming the lack of attention it received was due to politeness. They probably didn't know what to say.And it was very late at night.

I guess even if it did happen its no big deal anyway. But it didn't happen. And i am not in any way that way inclined.And I definitely don't want people thinking that of me.

I feel very embarrassed- and am trying to decide whether i should raise this issue with them to clear up the misunderstanding.Or does that just draw more attention to the whole thing. I'm feeling quite down about it actually

Skoop

Yeah, no one cares. You might think this is some big thing but I guarantee no one else is thinking about it. You didn't let slip that you once killed a man or that you've been selected by NASA to go to Mars. You said you once fooled around with someone over a decade ago. It's not interesting. Forget about it.

Diamond Doll

I'd clarify if it ever comes up again, if it doesn't then I wouldn't bother. If anyone actually cares or thinks differently of you because of it, chances are they'll find a way to bring it up again at some stage anyways!

Rubberchikken

chances are no one will remember.
if it is brought up again a simple explanation will fix it.

ongarboy

Don't bring it up yourself as it will only magnify the issue (for you only, that is) if you do and people will really think you are trying to hide rather than clarify something. Most everyone comes out with some waffle or incoherent stories when they've more than a few on them. If your audience were also similarly oiled, you can be sure they won't really remember it the next day.

If someone was to bring it up again, explain honestly what you've stated here. That while trying to tell another story, you ended up rambling and ended up saying off topic things that weren't actually factual. It sounds like you don't know yourself why you blurted that out, so that is the honest answer to give anyone else who asks. If they don't believe you, that really is their problem then!

Taltos

Mod Note
Just a reminder to only post if you have constructive advice and can offer it in a civil manner.

Big Ian - your post did not meet that criteria so it was removed.

frostyjacks

Maybe ask the person you're closest to in that group to recount the story, and see it's salvageable for the next get together. Otherwise, just let it lie. Digging it up again will make it look like you're protesting too much.

zxcvbnm1

OP here.

Yes - I think I've decided to let it lie. I feel I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't.

I can't believe I got myself in this situation. If it comes up again I will certainly aim to explain myself.(altgough I doubt it's the kind of thing others will bring up again ) But I feel bringing it up won't help my cause.

I must say I can't get it out of my head since. Not sure if I'm overreacting or what.

Ursus Horribilis

To be fair, it's a very strange thing to come out with. It makes no sense if it seemingly came out of nowhere... This won't make you feel any better but if I heard someone saying something like that in my company I would (1) never bring the topic up and (2) think you were protesting too much if you tried to explain. I actually don't think there is any way you can possibly explain this without making things worse. Maybe go easy on the drink if you're prone to saying the wrong thing if you've had too much.

zxcvbnm1

Odus fell down wrote: »

To be fair, it's a very strange thing to come out with. It makes no sense if it seemingly came out of nowhere... This won't make you feel any better but if I heard someone saying something like that in my company I would (1) never bring the topic up and (2) think you were protesting too much if you tried to explain. I actually don't think there is any way you can possibly explain this without making things worse. Maybe go easy on the drink if you're prone to saying the wrong thing if you've had too much.

I didn't come out and say it directly out of the blue. I was answering a question to a far more innocent thing and phrased it poorly due to my condition - but the company I was in clearly took this other interpretation. I can't blame them in that what I said was factually correct - but entirely innocent. Their interpretation wasn't unreasonable - but incorrect nonetheless.

And given my condition I was in i felt at the time that if I elaborated any further, I would be unable to improve my situation - and it would appear I was protesting too much and I would end up digging a hole for myself - so I glossed over it, as did others quite quickly.
But going by their comments at the time this was undoubtedly the interpretation they took. And I said nothing to diffuse their interpretation for reasons explained above.

So the moment came and went. But has hung over me quite a lot since.

My only hope is that given that I volunteered the delivery at the time with such casualness and nonchalance (which would be unusual for me or most guys) - and also moved on with great nonchalance - that it's possible in the cold light of day they may also question their own interpretation - but I doubt it.

December2012

To me it sounds like they made a joke about what you said and ran with it. I doubt they actually believe you had the homosexual encounter at all!

Shrap

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

My only hope is that given that I volunteered the delivery at the time with such casualness and nonchalance (which would be unusual for me or most guys) - and also moved on with great nonchalance - that it's possible in the cold light of day they may also question their own interpretation - but I doubt it.

Y'know, given that times have changed big time here, they may have just assumed that nonchalance and cool is the way to react to that kind of matter-of-fact comment. Which it is. Which is what you did. And what they did. And it was no big deal at the time, so I suggest living with the fact that it is no big deal that you admitted to a homosexual encounter, even if accidentally untruthful. It can only help with your friends being cool and accepting individuals, no? Now the clever trick is for you to accept it yourself......

liquoriceall

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

I suggested incorrectly to friends recently while out that i had a homosexual experimentation incident around 15 years ago.(it was very late in the night after much alcohol)

I didn't have any such occurrence - but I was trying to tell some other story which failed me due to the time of night. To cut a long story short there was a misunderstanding.

It was commented on at the time by them - but not overly so. And i completely failed to explain myself.
But nonetheless, its quite a statement. I'm assuming the lack of attention it received was due to politeness. They probably didn't know what to say.And it was very late at night.

I guess even if it did happen its no big deal anyway. But it didn't happen. And i am not in any way that way inclined.And I definitely don't want people thinking that of me.

I feel very embarrassed- and am trying to decide whether i should raise this issue with them to clear up the misunderstanding.Or does that just draw more attention to the whole thing. I'm feeling quite down about it actually

How horrific for you..you definately wouldn't want people "thinking that" of you! Honestly it's hardly such a big deal?