Feeling bad inside.

Amprodude

Feeling depressed right now. Can't see what's wrong, but I'm not happy with myself. I have missed the boat in life, i haven't achieved what others same age as me have achieved, I'm in my 30's no relationship, no house, no mortgage, nothing. Any goals I have set in life and career have passed me by and have met me with dissapointment. Never met the woman of my dreams, I wasn't good enough, didn't have the x factor, never had a relationship, just never happened for me eventhough if I got an opportunity I would really do everything for my other half. I can say I would be loyal but that ain't any good if the girl isn't there. Hate the pub/nightclub scene never had any luck with it. Tried to work on confidence and feel good factor but something always comes in the way and ruins it for me. In work I am misjudged and underrated at what I do and unfortunately have lost all my self confidence in everything. I can't make myself see the positives because the negatives are killing me. My friends haven't been my friends in time of need. Anyway I sit here writing this and have a bottle of whiskey next to me. In deep thoughts and hurting inside. Things are coming out that I could never imagined could come out. I'm 30 now, I'm not sure if I want to continue and may not see 40. At a all time low. Sometimes I just want to die as I have a miserable life. I have nothing. Hope I can get through this and one day achieve something in life. I'm a failure right now.

bilbot79

Probably the most negative post I've ever read. Not a single positive. FWIW I'm just after crying my eyes out because I've been constantly overlooked at work but you know what I don't give a f*** cos you can keep a good man down.

Ditch the whiskey and go out running mate, it may not be your fault but you're the only one that has an element of control here

clare82

Eeeesssshhh I don't know what to say but I've read your post and can't ignore it now. I dunno..sometimes we look at others and think they have the perfect ife but in reality not everything is as great as it looks so maybe there's a chance that everything in your life is not as bad as it looks to you...? I don't mean to be harsh on you but what have you actively done to improve your life? Have you seen s gp? All you need is a quick refferel to speak to a counsellor.....money well spent in my experience .

Amprodude

clare82 wrote: »

Eeeesssshhh I don't know what to say but I've read your post and can't ignore it now. I dunno..sometimes we look at others and think they have the perfect ife but in reality not everything is as great as it looks so maybe there's a chance that everything in your life is not as bad as it looks to you...? I don't mean to be harsh on you but what have you actively done to improve your life? Have you seen s gp? All you need is a quick refferel to speak to a counsellor.....money well spent in my experience .

I.haven't done alot to be honest, I alway been depressed since I was 18 and it hasn't ever gone away totally. I be fine for a while and then things come back to and put me in a state of bother. I wish I had this I don't give a **** attitude but people are born with or without that and I don't have it. I worry too much in general.

Dughorm

Amprodude wrote: »

Feeling depressed right now. Can't see what's wrong, but I'm not happy with myself....Anyway I sit here writing this and have a bottle of whiskey next to me..

Bottle of whiskey is what's wrong - cut it out #1

Amprodude wrote: »

Sometimes I just want to die as I have a miserable life. I have nothing. Hope I can get through this and one day achieve something in life. I'm a failure right now.

If this is not the drink talking - talk to someone - ring Samaritans on 116 123.

Let me ask you - are you healthy? are you physically ill? If not, then you have something, and something more than an awful lot of people.

Amprodude wrote: »

I have missed the boat in life... I'm 30 now,

I'm going to be blunt - no you haven't. You are 30 - in the prime of your life.

You listed what you want in your life - friends, relationships, good job, house - You know what you want.... now in the morning you can think about a plan of action.

I got a great bit of advice once - BE GOOD - not just to others - but BE GOOD to yourself too.

Fair play for getting it all out there, I guarantee you if you look back on this post in a month's time you will look back and say I'm glad I wrote that down look at the changes in my life it kick started - good luck!

Rubberchikken

you are only 30. trust me, that's not 'over the hill missed the boat' - none of those things.
you're aware of your faults and failings, for want of a better word for them, and on a more positive note, you know your strengths.

concentrate on them. you sound like a good person who needs a bit of support to get you through this. could you talk to your gp? see what they recommend. with help you'll start to see the good that is out there.

plus focus on your social life. what could you do to improve it. it doesn't need to be the pub/club scene. join something that you are truly interested in and see how things go.
if you're not being appreciated in work, see if you can figure out why. would extra trasining/courses help? would you prefer to search for a new position?
there are endless possibilities. and a little work every day on telling yourself to just not give a damn about certain things will eventually work. take care and good luck

LegacyUser

I'll echo what others have said.
Ditch the bottle of whiskey. Will not help you one little bit.
You're 30. Jesus, I was having a conversation with a 28 year old the other day telling me all her friends were still living at home and couldn't see how they'd ever get enough money to move out, never mind buy a place. I've a relative who met Mr Right at 32. I've a friend (male) who is exactly where you are, 3 years older, but ploughs on and keeps trying. My own career is in the toilet since the recession and I'm stuck in a rut that I just can't see a way out of - and have been trying for several years now to get past. (I'm 33). I'm stuck on the feeling of - my God I've got at least 32 years of works ahead of me, wtf am I going to do?

What I'm trying to say is that you are so not the only one. But having said that I do think you need to go talk to someone, especially if this type of feeling is constantly there and pulling you further down. I don't think you need a psychologist, but maybe some form of counsellor to teach you coping skills and ways to beat negative thinking and get out of the thought cycle (for the record, I've also been there). You have a lot of living to do yet. A lot. But don't be ashamed to ask for help.

Neyite

Mod;

A reminder to all that cyber-diagnosis is not permitted. Please leave diagnosis to qualified professionals who have assessed the OP in real life.

Thanks.